* So tired... *

<font color="blue"> Well I guess I should write a new post....writing will make me feel better, will try and avoid names of people. Went to grace homes today...visited two old folks. Been going there since the middle of 8th grade...they''re cool people, despite their age. 1.5 mile walk there an a 1.5 mile walk back...3 miles total. Earlier today I got in trouble with my teacher ...was making a to do llist and she got mad, so I got defiant with her....she sent me to the counselors office, but my counselor wasn';t there so they sent me to the round house....and wanted me to wait almost two hours till the assembly ended for my vp to get back...so I left. I didn't know what to think or do, I can't think very well right now....can't make decisions....it was tupid of me to be defiant in the first place...kept telling myself " Why did I do this " callin myself an idiot mentally....went the the cement board infront of a planter box and sat down, after going back to my mathematics classroom and getting my hjomework assignment and argueing with the teacher more.....then my teach came out and led me to the assembly...it was on respect, trust, those kinda things...drugs alchohal...ya know, normal teen prevention measurements v.v Then came lunch, did my science homework during lunch....been writing real long journals during 4th period....meh. Today's been weird...smells like summer and or spring.....Dunno why but I really like summer and spring, brings back....a ton of memories to me.....been writing about those memories in my journals.....Another person in our family died, fathers sister.........funeral on wendnesday, supposed to have an orthadontist appointment that day too but dad might cancel it, seee my therapist thursday....my friend might decide to go back to foster care, and although I think that's best for her....if she does go and ends up moving away, I'll miss her dearly....my heart already hurts for personal reasons I won't mention. But I'll be okay.....

Meh.....




Life is weird....

Life is fragile - that's why you have to live each day to your fulllest....because you'll never know when you will die....

Lotsa things to do....list of about 200 things....so tired, just want to sleep. Cant make decisions anymore....every night in my sleep I fight with a voice inside .....imagining situations that could happen, so as they don't happen in reality the next day....

I feel crazy....

Meh...

Much more to write...but too sleepy....

so..

~ Closes and goes back to work, then sleeps....
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Hang in there Lilah, you are not alone.

Thanks for letting us know how you are doing, Lilah. Keep going.

((((((((((((((((((((Lilah)))))))))))))))))))))

lilah.....you've got friends here. pat

Thanks guys ._.

-hugs everyone-