[sierralover]

Heck I have not done this in awhile and I hope I don't ramble too much. I have known myself to do that . Where do I start. Right now I am at the end of my tether. I don't have a clue what to do, how to do, why to do. I am 47 years old have suffered major depression off and on for many years, I am homebound with MS and other health issues. No friends except my wonderful hubby who has enough stress right now without my leaning on him. I am scared of life and myself. You would think at my age that I could deal with this all but I can't find anything anymore that seems to work. This is my last hope and I think that is really a sad situation to be in but I don't know what else to do. So here I am and please be gentle with me, I can not take anymore abuse <font color="black"> </font> <font color="black"> </font>

[dayzee9]

(((((((((Welcome!!!)))))))))))))

You are NOT alone! I am a 43 year old female, "unofficially married" to the most wonderful guy who has stuck w/ me for 22 years of psychiatric hell! I have had severe depression since I was a "teen" and I come to you all with a long list of Dx's...1)Major Depressive Disorder 2)MPD/DID 3)AODA trying to recover since first AODA treatment Ctr @ age 15! 4)3 Eating Disorders 5)Anxiety Disorder 6)ADD 7)I'm an unemployed psych LPN! Ain't life colorful?

Stick w/ these folks! They have hearts of gold! And as far as you "coming out" and opening yourself up like you have, I can only say.......

(((((((((***hugs from DayZee***))))))))))))))

[sierralover]

Hi! Thank you dayzee for your extremely warm welcome. I will be back. I think I am really going to need this to keep me together for a bit. Hope to talk (read) with you again. Linda

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Sierra Lover --

Welcome to the forums. The folks here are super. They have helped me in countless ways.

welcome!! i'm glad you came here and i hope you stay and continue to post.......there are some really cool people here and we all like to listen. pat

[wisewoman]

Ain't internet grand? So your not as alone with all of us here speaking with you and sharing. How has your MS affected you? Are you on depression meds? I am glad you are here. It helps to break the isolation.

[sierralover]

Hello Wisewoman! No I am not on anti depressants they really don't help me much at all except in the side effects. So I try to deal with this pretty much on my own. Sometimes tho it is very hard. As for the MS, well it started and has slowly progressed over the last 13 years or so. Hubby has been grasp of date than I do thanks to this disease. It affects mostly the right side of my body with chronic pain, tingling . I was not dx'd until last year when a doctor finally had the guts to do so, at this time I take meds just to control the array of symptoms. But they are not working much anymore and my new neuro will not prescribe drugs I was receiving before moving here. It is so frustrating these doctors. I swear sometimes my hubby wants to drag them across the desk. This last one actually had the nerve to say the other doctor misdx'd me I thought Glenn was going to have a coronary. If it wasn't so pathetic it would be funny. Then another mri and him saying well we see how it progresses in six months see ya then. Sorry dont mean to ramble. Sometimes this stuff just comes out when I am writing. Tho it is usually only to myself. LOL Thank you though and I look forward to helping those when I can and becoming part of this community which so far I really like. Thanks for caring Linda <font color="black"> </font>

[sierralover]

Thank you Pat much much appreciated Linda <font color="black"> </font>

[sierralover]

Thank you Wants for the welcome I do appreciate it I look forward to getting to know you all better and hope that the day will come where I will feel competent enough to comfort and advise but for now I do have a great shoulder for leaning or crying on. Thanks again Linda <font color="black"> </font>

[wisewoman]

I have a young friend with a spinal lesion and the docs are feeling it is MS. Having had, unfortunately a lot of experience from friends with this disease I can tell you many have received affective treatment for the symptoms and are leading fairly normal lives. What does normal mean anyway. I just me that they are still able to do what they enjoy and to work. Anyway, my recent friend is taking neurontin and some others and has a lot of symptom management. If you don't like the doc find another. Can you get to a clinic that specializes in de-mylenating diseases? It stinks to be so vulnerable to the docs opinions and whims doesn't it? Do you have better or worse times of the day? Better times are good for doing joyful things. Glad your hubby is a papa bear.

[sierralover]

Well wise I have tried Neurontin and found it did nothing but make me sleep, and not a restful sleep either. I am pretty sensitive to meds so need to take care. Anyhow I have tried a 30 mile radius of my area for doctor that would take me ( I receive medicaid because I was always a stay at home mom and all so no work history) anyhow these docs just assume medicaid is welfare and won't take and just recently I found out that it is against the law for doctors to take a cash payment from a medicaid patient ? never heard that one before Lol Your friends are very lucky. My treatment had been slightly under control until we moved 2000 miles and new docs will not prescribe methadone for pain here ( too much drug abuse this close to CA) so I am told. Even though they read my records and can see I was taking it for two years DUH!!! Very few doctors are licensced to prescribe and that makes it even harder. Clinics for the methadone do not handle chronic pain. Stuck between two rocks here. It is so frustrating and I am down to my last week of weaning self off of methadone and the pain is building. It was bad enough before the meds and I dont know how to handle this anymore on my own and these docs are ridiculous here. They think it is alright that I suffer, then I get severely depressed and they just say here try this try this try this. Heck I have been trying this and trying that for over 13 years. I thought doctors took an oath to do all they could for their patients. This is so hard and probably harder on my hubby. When I cant move to go to the bathroom because of the pain and he sees it well it drives him crazy and I feel so bad then. I cant go into that feeling here because of rules. I am ruining his life is how I feel. So much to do and I feel grateful that I can make a simple meal and wash the dishes at a later time because I am exhausted. Oh gosh here I go rambling and rambling So Very Sorry But I guess there is so much bottled up inside of me that when I start I can't stop. Again Sorry but if you got this far thank you for listening (reading) Linda <font color="black"> </font>

[wisewoman]

You are not rambling!!!!! Can I suggest or advise? 1. Try to find a pain clinic, you deserve to have your pain managed. 2. Hook up with the MS foundation and ask for info and support. 3. Speak with you legislators about your issue, call your senator or congressional hotline and tell them what the problem is. Believe me, that one usually gets butts moving. It is hard when you are in pain and depressed to stick up for yourself. It is however critical. What are the associations around you for people who have disabilities? If you want to p.m. me about where you live I can speak with some friends who have physical disabilities and see what they can find for me in your area. Do you have a center for Independent Living? Also, the E.R. is always an option if your pain is unmanageable and you could be admitted for the sole purpose of pain management. DO NOT ACCEPT THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE PAIN! Okay, I will stop yelling. The only other thing is roxinol is similar in affects to the methadone. Does it help you?