I think I was being too optimistic

I felt a bit better for a couple of days after I found the forums, but it is all creeping up on me again. I begin to think that I have experienced far more episodes of dissociation than I have ever let myself realize. How do you explain to people that "you were not yourself" when you do stuff that seems out of character. My husband is waiting for a lung transplant, this is a really bad time for me to become unreliable.

Dawn,

I don't have the answer to that.

If you can, look inside yourself and look at what's going on in your life and see if you can figure out what stressors and problems could be causing you to dissociate??

I am always here to listen, even when I don't have much insight to offer

Angela

dawntreader, are you in therapy? it might help to discuss stressors in your life right now. you can always discuss them here too

i'm sorry to read of your husband's health. that must be very hard...for both of you. i can understand your fear of dissociation at this point.

we're here for you.

I would like to be in therapy, but can not pay for it.

If you have a county mental health near you, they base it on a sliding scale fee. You can try them. I was paying an average of $18 a session. Granted ours was small & didn't deal w/ diss. But it can be a good start. I now see a T who specializes in diss. I pay $80 a week for her. But it's worth it. Again, try the county or try calling other places. Most are willing to offer a sliding scale fee.
Love,
RhysMadison

dawn
another place to seek help is at a university we get therapy and such at nova southeastern university and pay 5 dollars a session the folks there are very knowledgable about did maybe we were just lucky but it might be worth a shot we think an understanding t who is willing to help will help

good luck
kc

Hey kc, that is where my T graduated from. He's a great T and very understanding. They must be doing something right there to be turning out graet T's.
Monty

Dawntreader,

Have you explored any services provided by Aus. gov? I am not familiar with how your government goes about with assistance programs but there has to be something I would hope!!

If you haven't yet looked into that you could let us know the general region you live in, or if you are near a major metropolitan area so we could search for resources to try.

It is so hard to be without a therapist in the midst of such an unstable time. I really feel for you hon.

My best wishes and my hope that better options are around the corner for you.

kindly,

(((((Dawntreader)))))safe hugs

Hi. i wish i had the answer - what to tell people when i switch. Switching happens even more when we're upset about something - try to calm down and not worry about what anyone thinks if you can. You're under enough stress and it's too hard to take on any more problems.

It's too confusing and complicated for me to try to manage all of my parts' behaviour too. People should know that you're stressed now and excuse how you're acting.
Dawntreader, i'm so sorry that it's so hard now. i hope that things calm down inside and get better. If you could find support it would be good. That's the good thing about having a therapist. A T. can help by talking to parts when you can't and find out why they do what they do and sometimes even help them stop doing things that make us upset/angry/or look crazy to others/or mess up our lives.
Some persons with DID can communicate with their parts and 'ask inside' and find out why parts do what they do and try to bargain with parts. i never understood how that worked. i can't communicate with parts either. It's really difficult to explain to other people. They usually never understand. The less that you say - the better. Never tell anyone that you have DID without carefully going over the repercussions of them knowing. I've never told anyone willingly and it hasn't helped when people find out- that's my experience. They don't understand and it just makes things worse. People don't need to know anything. Just say something like, "i've been really upset ." That should be enough.

For now, please know that we hear you and understand how hard it is- that you can't help it- and that it's not your fault. It's a reaction to the stress and your parts or alters (what ever term you use) have a right to live and express themselves also. It's really difficult having to live with separate parts.

Please be safe and try to give yourself grace.
BTW- i love your name.

Take care,
kerria

How are you doin' Dawntreader? I am hopeful you found refuge here this weekend and strength to begin your week.

I have been thinking of your situation and I do hope that this board could possibly encourage you into considering therapy again.

Just consider is all. No one is pushing anything or pressuring.

Hope you are doing as well as you can be.