[ginniesky]

hi this is lily i am really freaking out i am not sure what to do i am upset close to crying but don't feel safe .......i wrote down the things i have been doing i will write them for you i also wrote how i felt when i did those thing .....

Things i did for the body.....5-7-09 ate 8:50 pm 1small kiwi
beans and rice - 330 calorie
mixed veggies 30 calorie
1 diet orange soda 25 calories

how i felt - body started feeling hungry when i ate but was afraid to eat more so stopped there feel sad but not sure why but also feel a little relaxed but not completely
9:30
changed sheets on bed
took shower
brushed teeth
shaved
applied lotion
took medicines and vitamins
filed nails
brushed hair
body feels tingly feel very connected to body kind of scared is this normal ? tummy is still growling part of me wants to comfort it and give it just a little more but scared mind tells me i ate too much already mind says i need to exercise till get to dizzy to walk
other people eat though not sure how much calories the kiwi is but think less than 70 the rest was 385 so let say the kiwi was 70 that would be 455 plus what may have stayed down after purging which may have been 145 that would be 600 i might be able to eat a little more i wish someone could sit with me i am scared i am eating a waffle 85 calories and a sugar free popsickle 20 calories please tell me i am okay

5-8-09 12:20 ate a grilled chicken sandwedge 225 calories want to hurt the body bad really bad not okay

[Monty_girl]

Hi, this looks a lot like my day. Today had a pot of coffee and a veggie paddy and a slice of cheese. And I ran one mile and did 100 sit ups. I wasn't able to make my bed this morning. I've been up since 4am, wanting to go back to sleep, but never got around to it. I got a shower, brushed my teeth and washed the dishes. It always seems to be the same day after day. I hope tonight is easier for you.

[Miri]

Ginnie, I'm not sure exactly what your fears are, but obviously you are very distressed and i just want you to know that you have been heard and that my heart goes out to you. It seems like you are trying very hard to take good care of yourself, but still you don't feel okay in your body. Please, do you have a T that you can take your feelings to? Please someone to alk to face to face, if that's possible, to help you sort this out .
if safe