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#1
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Have to go back to T today to continue what we started last thursday with an angery suicidal alter. I'm not as scared today as I was last week. Just like it's OK to go. But I hope that doesn't change when the time to leave gets closer. Had a really bad day yesterday with the holiday and all. The color green just triggers me really bad, and everywhere I went I saw green. Seemed like everytime I saw it it would take more of my breath away from me. It felt like everyone was after me yesterday. But I'm sure most ppl don't have green on today and is like they gave me back my breath. Now all I have to do is hope T remembers to remove everything out of the office that's green. Maybe the session will go well. Fingers crossed everyone.
Take Cares, Monty ![]()
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Back, I've lost months, months ! |
#2
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My fingers are crossed for you Monty.
This is some big work you're doing in therapy. I'm so glad that your therapist is supportive and helpful. Take care and let us know how it went if you're able after your appointment. Sending you good thoughts kind Monty. |
#3
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Monty,
I can not imagine being triggered by the color green yesterday. That would be a dreadfull day. I am wishing you the best for your appointment. Hang right in there the times will get better. Crossed fingers and well wishes here too. Take care. place
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#4
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I'm sorry that yesterday was tough for ya. If it makes you feel any better, I think leprachauns are quite creepy. Good luck at your T appointment.
-Carolyn. |
#5
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((((((((((((((((((( monty ))))))))))))))))))))))))) know i'm with you in thought, sweetie
![]() i finished with t today and it wasn't as horrible as i thought it would be, but i'm left with alot of memories that are my own and that are not good and look even worse now ![]() let me know how you're doing? love ya, kd
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#6
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I hope it went well for you. I don't know if this will help 'bout the color but try to just remember it is just a color. It's nothing alive, "it" won't hurt you. I had learned that from my T re: the name of my r*p*st. It is just a name, the name can't hurt me. Still working on that one but thought I share it.
Love, RhysMadison |
#7
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My appointment went fairly well. Learned just that she's being bullied by another alter we were unaware of. I'm not taking that to well. There are so many alters already. I just can't deal with a thought of knowing that there is even another. Damn how many are there ! I just can't deal with it right now. I'm just numb. And now my T has brought back up me cutting back working to part time. I just can't do it right now. I'm the only one working. My hubby is in school and having to quit after this semester because of money. I'm trying my hardest to keep working, I don't want to fail again. But I know in the back of my head that T is right. That something is going to have to give somewhere. It's a lot of fear. I just don't know how to take care of myself and understand what is best for me. I know it me head, but I can't act on it. He reminded me about how bad it's been in the past and asked if I wanted to live like that again. And I don't. I was to one point where I didn't leave my house for a year. I don't want to be like that again. But I'm so tired and scared I've got that feeling back to close off again. Ok, think I'm just going to go back to sleep again now. Bye, Monty
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Back, I've lost months, months ! |
#8
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![]() just wanting to let you know we care KC |
#9
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Thank you for checking in with us Monty. Resting sounds like a great idea. Stay safe please.
You're doing a tremendous job working with each other and T. Keep going hon. |
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