[pegasus]

Don't read this unless you are in a very good place.

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I had to go to the Doctors today to have a female medical procedure done. Now I had specifically asked for a male Doctor to do it because of 'reactions' I have had in the past. When I get there it is a female Doctor. I warned her that I might go into a 'shock' reaction. I flipping told her it might happen. Goodness sake! Anyway, low and behold I went into the 'shock reaction' luckily I don't remember much of it. But I did ask if I tried to punch her! The Doc said that I was a very good 'girl.' They obviously knew then! The nurse did ask me what causes that but I just said I don't know. I wasn't going to bloody explain it to her. Anyway it's done now but flip I feel so degraded and angry.

[peaches100]

Pegasus,

I'm so sorry that the medical professionals didn't follow through with the arrangement to have a male doctor do the procedure!! It's so important to those of us who have had traumatic experiences to be in charge of what happens to our bodies. I wonder if they forgot to make a note in the chart that you requested a male. Or perhaps when you made your request, they were only half listening and assumed that since you were a female that you were requesting "female only." In any case, it was a bad screwup on their part, and I am so sorry you got triggered. I would be upset too. Please try not to feel degraded. It's not your fault that you've had trauma or that you dissociate. It is not a fault or bad. It's how you learned to cope. Again, I'm so sorry this happened to you. What can you do now to help the little girl inside you feel safe?

[pegasus]

Thank you for your reply peaches.

When I asked the Doctor if I had tried to punch her, she also said 'I wouldn't blame you if you did, but actually you were a very good girl.' I guess that was nice of her to say that.

I'll be ok.

i hope this doesn't come out wrong but i'm very proud of you for how you handled this. i understand your embarrassment but i also applaud your spunk. "i'm not going to explain it to her!" tells me you have a sense of healthy self-righteousness re: your diagnosis. She should know better and it's not your job to educate her or put yourself in an even more vulnerable position by having to explain yourself.

i'm really sorry you weren't listened to. i have next to zero trust in medical professionals because in my experience they cannot accept that they don't know everything so, therefore, ignore information coming in. i could tell you some stories man.

But good on you for having the strength to ask for what you needed, for appropriate after care, for the oomph not to be be-littled by a "professional's" curiosity and lack of knowledge, and for just plain taking care of your vulnerable needs. Way to go!

Pegasus
I also applaud your attitude. I have no trust left for medical "professionals" either but you were able to stand up for yourself. I am sorry that had to happen though.

[beadlady29-old]

(((((((((pegasus)))))))))
mary and all of us beadys[/SIZE]

[multipixie9]

i just wanted to speak up about the few "good guys" in the medical profession. my general practice doc does almost all of my meds and medical needs even the psych ones. i got a horrifying notice that i was expected to show up for jury duty...i can't even imagine how that would have worked out, but i was going to my doc for a med-check and asked him if he would give me a note excusing me from jury duty because i have a dissociative disorder and he calmly did just that and did not question me or react in any way other than low-key acceptance. he just wrote the note - which i keep forgetting to mail...argh! he has been the most accepting of all the doctors i've ever seen and sadly, i've seen way too many for my peace of mind.

you took care of yourself, Pegasus and did the best you could. like you i totally hate it when they do NOT listen to me when i am speaking plain english and making perfect sense! with all that education you'd think they might be more understanding, but not often enough are they that kind and open-minded. hugs if you want them,

Leslie

[Jewels]

((((((((((((((((((((((((pegasus))))))))))))))))))))))))))

im glad u were able ta keep urself safe even in the unsafe experience that u went thru...it took great courage an im proud of u...we prolly woulda canceled the whole thing an then not gone back til we wuz sure we would get what we needed...u did good an dont let nobody tell u otherwise!

abbi

[pegasus]

Thank you all (((((( MeSo )))))))

((((((( Calista )))))))

(((((( beadlady ))))))

(((((( multipixies )))))))

(((((( Jewels ))))))

It helps us so much that you all understand, it felt like a degrading process though I'm sure they did it as professionally as they could. The nurse wasn't very clued up but thinking about it, the Doc probably was. I felt real angry yesterday but no wonder ay! Anyhow I'm a lot better now.

[beadlady29-old]

(((((((((((((((((((pegasus))))))))))))))))))))))
so gald that you is feeling gooder now.............
them dadgum femal exams can be so traumatizing! we hopes we not have to have no more cuz had complete hysterectomy fewmonths ago.
sending gentle hugs, peaceful thoughts and warm fuzies your wy,

mary & all of us beadys

[Jewels]

((((((((((((((((((((pegasus)))))))))))))))))))))))

im glad ur feelin better...an im glad u were able ta come an let us know what was goin on...hopin that things will quiet down now for a while an u will b better again...

abbi