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Old Jun 08, 2009, 10:10 AM
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Rhapsody Rhapsody is offline
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My younger counter part of myself that separated from me around ten years old wants to write a letter to our mom as to ask her a few questions and yet I am not sure that I am ready for this in my life..... What would you do?

She wants to know:

1. Why did you believe him over me?
2. Why you turn against me, instead of him, when the truth came out?
3. Why did you blame me when the court ordered him out of the house?
4. Why did you want him back in the house knowing what he did to me?
5. Why hate me for some thing I had no control over? - I was only a child

There are more questions, but she has not reveled them to me yet.

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  #2  
Old Jun 08, 2009, 12:56 PM
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turquoisesea turquoisesea is offline
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I think this is a personal decision.

It sounds like your younger self has not come to terms with what happened and this is a way of reaching out and trying to understand/face the situation. Not quite the right wording but I think I got across?

I think sometime or another this younger self will have to understand and somehow come to terms.

I dunno if going to your mom is right at the moment. I guess it's up to you. Maybe you could let her write the letter and then decide if you are ready to give it to your Mom? Or explain that you're just not ready for it yet.

hope all goes well
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  #3  
Old Jun 08, 2009, 07:58 PM
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Miri Miri is offline
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Rhapsody, I'll give you an opinion, but that is all it is okay? We act like parents for our tounger parts and at times need to protect them from their own impulses. If you allow these questions to be asked, are you prepared for answers that might not be the ones you'd hope to hear, or especially that the young one wants to hear? Would you have a way to handle a negative reaction? Support?
Those are very normal questions that all of us who were abused want answers to, but the answers we want are accepting, loving and nurturing. I am afraid that you will be hurt again if you do this, but if you are strong and need to confront your mother, then it is certainly your right to ask. If the questions come from a place of power within you, that would be better than if froma wounded part that is seeking validation. Be careful, okay, whatever you decide to do and keep in touch with us so we can support you in your decision. if safe
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Thanks for this!
turquoisesea
  #4  
Old Jun 08, 2009, 09:23 PM
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turquoisesea turquoisesea is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miri View Post
Rhapsody, I'll give you an opinion, but that is all it is okay? We act like parents for our tounger parts and at times need to protect them from their own impulses. If you allow these questions to be asked, are you prepared for answers that might not be the ones you'd hope to hear, or especially that the young one wants to hear? Would you have a way to handle a negative reaction? Support?
Those are very normal questions that all of us who were abused want answers to, but the answers we want are accepting, loving and nurturing. I am afraid that you will be hurt again if you do this, but if you are strong and need to confront your mother, then it is certainly your right to ask. If the questions come from a place of power within you, that would be better than if froma wounded part that is seeking validation. Be careful, okay, whatever you decide to do and keep in touch with us so we can support you in your decision. if safe
thank you miri... i think you have a very good point
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  #5  
Old Jun 09, 2009, 02:15 AM
Luce Luce is offline
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Rhapsody... I wonder what it would be like if you tried to answer these questions yourself, in the role of your mother. What do you think your mother would say? Perhaps the young you might think your mother's answers might be something along the lines of "you were bad, you were evil" (I don't know there, but those beliefs are common for young abused parts) but how does adult-you think your mother might respond?
  #6  
Old Jun 11, 2009, 11:46 PM
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Rhapsody Rhapsody is offline
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I think she (my younger one) could handle it as she has been ready and wanting this for a while now.... I think the hold up is coming more from me... I am not sure that I want the upset the letter will create once it is sent.
  #7  
Old Jun 14, 2009, 02:55 PM
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Rhapsody Rhapsody is offline
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My young one has settled down... some times my alters just want "NEED" to be heard by another person that will actually listen.
  #8  
Old Jun 14, 2009, 02:58 PM
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turquoisesea turquoisesea is offline
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(((((((((((((((((Rhapsody))))))))))))))))))))
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Young One Wants to Write

Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

  #9  
Old Jun 14, 2009, 08:07 PM
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DLHsSystm DLHsSystm is offline
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Oh good I am glad she was heard. Mine just want to be heard too. Sometimes so much they get really upset.

Yay for listeners
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