[Kiya]

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO irritable. Slept most of day. finally got out of house to go sit in last of day sun to paint or read. painted self screaming in the middle of a bunch of people - and no one looked up.
then drove to the store - a non-healthfood store (we's allergic to food). we didn't care - swap out in store. 8 wanted junk w/toys in the box - didn't find none. grrrrrrrrrrrr.
we got 2 Instant Cup of Noodles "Chicken" Flavor, a lunchable with "chicken nuggets" and "sauce" aka ketchup with starch in it, so it says on the box. then my little pony "fruit" chews, then a travel size 4 pack of mini pickles, then 2 of those mini ice cream cups; one of haagen daz dulce de leche and Starbucks something or other.
allergic to EVERYTHING she bought. Every last bit of it.
SHe took it all out on the porch and ate one of everything - except the coffee ice cream - that was 22's and she just ate that now - while watching the clouds drift past slowly.
even in the car, before leaving, 8 pulled out a pickle cup, then a fruit chew snack pack. This is why our foodstamps don't last.
In the store 8 was silently screaming a temper tantrum that there were no toys in the items.... and i think there was another (whose voice is very much like "F It's" from "The Obsidian Mirror" for anyone who has read it. Swearing at everything (silently) and everyone. It's been a long day. Could be a much longer night.
i must say tho - 8 was quite content dipping her chicken nuggets. Ohhh which reminds me the candy from that is in my pocket *looks in pocket* an Airhead (whatever that is). Hmmmm... it's blue, smells overly sweet, and is soft.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( kiya ))))))))))))))))

ooooh, it sounds like a lot of you wanted what THEY wanted yesterday!!!!!!

Sounds like 8 felt taken care of with her chicken nuggets

I hope your night was peaceful and that you feel okay today. And if you feel yucky from the things you ate yesterday, be gentle with yourselves, and know that it will pass.

[iamtwilight]

aww that's just like our day... the other day or the day before that, or maybe last week lol.

"sushi would be nice"
"no it is bad, i want cheese sandwiches only"
"can we get some chocolate please"
"this chocolate is not good, let's take some other brand"



it's kind of comical sometimes, yet when lots of folks get to eat what they want, even a fraction of it, the stomach still gets bloated and it feels yucky. and you have allergies too hope it's going to feel ok soon, like treehouse says it's going to pass.

safe

[January]

Hopefully without sounding too terribly stupid, what is a pickle cup?

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by treehouse

ooooh, it sounds like a lot of you wanted what THEY wanted yesterday!!!!!!

Sounds like 8 felt taken care of with her chicken nuggets

I hope your night was peaceful and that you feel okay today. And if you feel yucky from the things you ate yesterday, be gentle with yourselves, and know that it will pass.

ty! i do feel yucky =( like i've been run over by a paving truck. am trying to be gentle.... tho 22 is having chocolate for "breakfast" (aka 2:41 pm).
yes, 8 did feel taken care of with her chosen food - thanks for writing that, it helped remind us why this happened and gave her that warm/fuzzy feeling again.

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by January

Hopefully without sounding too terribly stupid, what is a pickle cup?

*grin*
we got a 4 pack of little tiny cups that have mini teeeeeny pickles in them. she ate one of those in the car =) we've been CRAVING pickles (no, we're NOT expecting) but are allergic to them, so we wanted the smallest or cheapest pack available. those fit the bill.

[Kiya]

Twilight - yeah, it was like i woke up going OMG why do I feel soooooooooo ...Oh yeah. Meh.
Still cannot believe it. *sigh*

[Kiya]

AND.... 8 refused to take the AD last night. by the sounds of things internally, there is a massive uproar, and EVERYONE has decided to refuse to take them any further. @_@

[iamtwilight]

is there something to the med that makes you guys not want it? we stopped taking a med because when even one dose was missed the body was groggy for a few days, and the same thing when it was taken again. so yeah, not a good med. the last time someone decided it was not even really needed. is that what's going on? if yes, then it might need a bit more work unfortunately - it sometimes takes a while to see that yes, most are depressed and medication has/might make a difference.

[Eriksplus]

We're sorry you all felt so terribly!
We hope it gets better soon!
We are not in a good place, either.
(Kay)Erik

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by iamtwilight

is there something to the med that makes you guys not want it?

we always feel not our selves or not real on it. and if it is missed by even a few hours, the anxiety the next day is terrible.
with the swap out, we didn't even get home until 8:45 and needed to take it at 6pm. so said screw it. and today decide NO MORE. we're done. hate being on them anyway. been over a year, no major improvements, 2 different drugs. wears the adrenals down, gain weight.... done. adios, bye bye pills. plus don't even have the $4 to get the next month's worth. so who cares.

Originally Posted by eriksplus

We're sorry you all felt so terribly!
We hope it gets better soon!
We are not in a good place, either.
(Kay)Erik

((((((((((kay))))))))))))
we must all bolster our courage! i feel it shall get worse before it gets better. we personally must do away with these strange ways of dealing in the world and pull together (Ayiko!) to find better solutions!
True Essence Kiya - freed at last from a drugged sleep!

Sorry you felt ill because of what was eaten but I understand the other's needs too. The cravings can be meaning so much more than simply wanting a particular food item. Please take good care of all. Thinking of you.

[multipixie9]

Kiya,

IMPORTANT: IF YOU SUDDENLY STOP COLD TURKEY ON ANTIDEPRESSENTS IT CAN PUT YOU INTO A VERY VERY BAD MENTAL STATE. MOST MUST HAVE A WAY TO TAPER OFF FOR YOUR OWN HEALTH AND SAFETY. (NOT YELLING AT YOU, VERY CONCERNED. I DID THAT ONCE ACCIDENTALLY BY FORGETTING TO PUT THE PILLS IN MY PILL BOX ONE WEEK AND WE PLUNGED INTO SUICIDAL DEPRESSION VERY SUDDENLY. WE FIGURED IT OUT, BUT IT WAS A SCARY MISHAP)

Please be careful of yourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish you could find a way to explain how important it is to not mess up with the food stamps money. That can put such stress on you when the money is gone before the month is over.

Maybe you could find some non-food treats or fun for them and pamper them a different way so you can get better food for the body you share. I used to have a box of "special" toys for my daughters as a form of time alone with mom. They really loved getting to spend alone time with mom and get to play with the special toys. The toys were cheap little guns that shot suction tipped darts and some toy soldiers and some make up and dress up things - special means anything they don't get too often.

You matter, please don't do something that may harm you by making your brain chemistry suddenly drop certain levels of important things - like serratonin(misspelled i think) and norepinephrin.

leslie's maternal pixie (go figure) =)

[Kiya]

UPDATE
i am *exhausted*. 8 has been swapping in most the last 4 days, as have others - coming and going, eating what ever they want... and mom is so not helping; bought us coffee (she and i), pizza! Ice cream! like an 8 yr old will say no to that. on top of all what she bought.... allergies, every single thing.
then totally crashed and burned today - crying all day. such a bad mood. oh and i am to understand that the balance issues stem from the sudden stop of ADs.
had therapy tonight - cried all through it; a very lost and confused 22 (still not body age). then t made some cd's for us and we swapped out into 8 again. wasn't safe to drive, and t had us wait in the lobby (which is new - and a really good things that she did)- checked on us every 15 min. thankfully a dear friend of mine called and that got me grounded. but i am just bushed. bushed! we've not been sleeping either - so i REALLY hope and pray i can sleep a FULL night tonight. did take half a celexa tonight - try to get back on track. stomach ache is finally starting to subside from that.

Leslie - yeah... the AD dosage isn't high (10mg) but i take a lot of brain chemistry supplements for seratonin, dopamine, and norepinephrin - or at least i usually do... as you might imagine, NONE have been being taken for several days. maybe this is why we cried all day too. i know a lot of negative thoughts came back in full force.
i like the idea of special toy moments.

Calista - yes - it is alway challenging at best - this time it was far and beyond over the top. the body is allergic to food (literally), there are 8 "ingredients" we can eat... so suddenly eating all this chcolate, pizza, soda, coffee, sugar, real milk, real ice cream, fake fruit chews, wheat, and cup of noodle - it is the body's worst nightmare.
i am ready to wake up from this!
ty all for walking with me thru this -it means SO MUCH to us.