flashback

this is horrible. horrible horrible horrible.

i can't sleep.

i try to sleep but cant.

i try to sleep more but i can't. too hot when comfortable, and too cold after throwing the blanket away. too unsafe without blanket.

head aches. eyes ache. especially when rolling them to look in another direction without moving the head.

this is dog crap. please make it stop.

neeed !

twilight et al

((((((((((((((((iamtwilight))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry you are struggling. Can you try to focus on something completely, such as the texture of the blanket, the design on the blanket, the thickness. Is it soft or hard, etc. That might help ground you.

When that happens to me and I'm aware enough to realize what is going on, I give up on the sleep for a while and get out of bed and do something completely different. Sometimes that helps.

Hope you feel better soon. Hang in there.

((((((((((((((((((((Twilight))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
We haven't been sleeping well, either!!
I hope things get better for you!!!!!!!!!!!
(Dance)Erik

Hang in there Twlight and keep posting here
We are all here for you
Keep your head up

I'm sorry you aren't able to sleep. We aren't either. The nightmares are bad.
If you find you can't get comfortable, can you get up and do something calming? I hope it gets better.

(((((twilight)))))

((((((((((((((((Twlight)))))))))))))))))))))))

here for you hun, sitting with you and sending lots of gentle hugs

Peace and Love
Sparrow

thank you (((all)))

thank you so much for supporting us. appreciate it very much.

if i could, i would cry happy tears right now

,
twilight et al


the following text is going to be triggering so please skip if you're in a bad mood, i'll even put it in a small font.

initially i thought i was going crazy, and especially when my psychiatrist and psych nurse are saying this is psychotic, and body memories are hallucinations. in a way they are, but not in the psychotic sense. "where do you want me to stick ya?" lol.

last night i recognize a big issue with abandonment, and it is so synchronistic with the current situation (parents are not contacting me and i'm trying to hang onto them even though i hate them) and the memory... it's freaking me out because this is what they use as a special interrogation technique for war criminals, terrorists. and from what i can tell this is not done to me by my parents. they've abandoned me and let another person hurt us.

"i try to sleep more but i can't. too hot when comfortable, and too cold after throwing the blanket away. too unsafe without blanket."

I understand how this feels completely, even though I can't really say the same for the other things.

thank you (((kaika))). it's a crock struggling for sleep. ugh.

but - i'm glad you can't relate to all of it. no one should have to.


twilight

... Lullaby and

Goodnight

lalala la la la la la la la la la

la la la, la la la la la la: la...


Pretty sure the sound isn't to clear but hope it helps...it's a nigh, nigh lullaby...

Hunny

(((((((((((( twilight ))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you're struggling. Body memories are so hard.
I can understnd the abandonment issues too well. Take good care.

hi twilite. wen is summer hot we make a sheet be owr blankie. we pic a color dat maks us feel proteted an den we uses it like a blankie. is not too hot an yet we stil can covers up wif it. do u have a fav. color? at sum stors lik walmart u can buy just one sheet, so buy a top sheet an it can be as big or little as u wana mak it be. may be dat help????? ok byby

leli pixie

sad for u dat u peepls be meen to u. dat soo wrong! we lik u an we fink u is just fine. if dey don lik u day are bad bad bad ones. grrrr. dem.

Oh a good idea! We may try that too. A pink sheet in soft material...
(((Twilight))) Hope you are able to be comfortable soon. We are here.

hey all!

hunny, thank you for the song. i like it. i kept imagining it last night as i was falling asleep. i have sleep meds now so i fall asleep and have a peaceful night.

fuzzy & calista, thank you for the hugs, they are very much appreciated.

leli - i agree with calista, that's a great idea! i have a favourite sheet in the closet that has a big puppy on it, it looks like one that would fiercely guard us if anyone tried to hurt us. thanks so much! and thank you for reassuring that they were bad. you are very kind.

all of you

getting more of the memory today. eek! well, dealing with it.

twilight

(((((((((((((twilight))))))))))))

nigh, nigh

(((((((((Twilight)))))))))) so so so sorry i didn't see this in time and wasn't around!!!
@_@
Hope you are alright and dealing with that in teeeeeeny pieces so they do not overwhelm you!!!

calista an twilight,

we vere happe u lik owr sujeschun on a summr blankie made frum a sheet. De one wif a big puppy sowns sooo gud. He wil bite eneone who bozrs u at all.

We hope u has gud sleeps an no uglee dreems. huggsies

leli an pixies

turquoise, hunny, kiya, leli et al

it sure does help to see people are listening. thank you again.

kiya, please don't feel sorry for not seeing this earlier. i noticed you had not posted here in a while, it's good to see you again.


twilight

(((((((((((((((((((((Twilight))))))))))))))))))))))))