[peaches100]

I have kind of a weird question to ask. I've been seeing my t for several years now. And we've worked significantly on helping me develop trust and a secure relationship with her. There have been a few moments when i've truly felt a good connection and alot of trust. But here's the problem: I can't seem to get a sense of continuity. What i mean is that i can't seem to put together the individual sessions in order to create a feeling inside myself that this is, and has been, a continuous relationship of trust building over time. For some strange reason (particularly after a rupture but other times too), it feels like each session is it's own separate thing and the interactions of that session only belong to that day. Then, the following week, that session is separate. The relationship feels good or bad based on whatever happened at the most recent session. Somehow, i can't see the big picture. So i never do develop a secure attachment based on years worth of separate interactions that i should be able to combine to form a lasting connected relationship. It feels like we keep starting over again.

Does this make sense to anybody? Has anybody had this problem? What would cause this? Is this a dissociation thing? It's very confusing to me.

I hear what you are saying---sometimes for us it's been because someone else is in the session (switching)--but we've worked that out....

the other thing that my T and I did was to set a consistant day and time--same two days every week (except for vacations and such) and the same time. This has helped with the consistancy in that regard. before we did that, it was confusing and we forgot appts and were feeling like there was no set anything.

We also set an agenda of sorts for the next session--for example if we are working on a specific thing, she gives me an "assignment" for the next session and then she checks to make sure nothing significant has happened in the last couple days (between sessions) then if not, we continue what we began the last session. It has really helped us to feel like we are moving forward.

times when she is away she gives us something to "work on" while she is gone and then we pick it up when she gets back (unless something has happened that needs to be addressed first).

it has worked for us.
maybe it will work for you too.....

Oh yes! When we don't see T for a day, we forget him and are left with the feelings from the last time.

We hear you loud & clear.

[Kiya]

Hmmmmmmmm... I would think it would be an attachment disorder thing (which is probably common in a lot of us, depending on the parents)?

sounds like a REALLY good thing to discuss with T!!

[Fuzzybear]

it makes sense to me

[wanttoheal]

I have similar issues. I had written a post a little while ago about something similar. I'm not sure if it's the same thing, but it does have to do with keeping a connection. I struggle with being able to feel safe with T each week, especially if I am more dissociated some weeks, or there is too much space in between our sessions.

It feels like after all this time, I should know that T is T, and that she is safe, but I lose that connection each time and it feels like I have to spend half the session or more sometimes just trying to figure out if T is still the same person and still safe.

Here is the post I made about it. I don't know if it is the same or if it will help but thought I'd throw it out there in case. If not, just disregard it.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=109770

I don't know how to solve it though. I try to self talk. But because I think I separate myself from events so easily, it's a struggle.