[melmac]

Well it has been a little over a week since I found out. I have decided to not wait for feelings that may not come back. I am trying to make my decision based on what I know I would feel like. I'm so confused. I need to make up my mind of what needs to be done. I want so bad to put my children first and stay with him, but it's been so long since I have thought about myself. The reason I'm not rushing to do anything is because I know if I stay I would have to block it out. I am sick and tired of doing that. That's why I'm sick in the first place.

I guess this would be easier to put behind me if this were not my sister. He and I took her children in our home and took care of them as if they were my own, because she wouldn't. That's when I was having alot of problems, and she never helped me. I didn't care, because I love them. I almosted hated her, because I had to hear the most perfect children ask why they could not see their mommy. All the while he............
How could he?

[melmac]

Sorry, I didn't mean to get into all of that, but it did help me a little.

Let it out melmac. I'm in shock reading about how you've cared for her children and this is how she and your husband behave?!

I've never been in that situation with children so I'm at a loss for what to say.

Just keep letting it out here if you feel safe doing that. There are lots of folks here in your corner ready to rise up and cheer you on whatever your decision may be.

[SweetCrusader]

I know if I were in your shoes, I would be devastated beyond words. There would be no way I could remain with him.

As for the children... As a (adult) child of divorced parents, my parents marraige was strained enough that it was a HUGE sigh of relief when they got divorced. Seriously like a huge weight on my shoulders was lifted. The circumstances that brought it about were incredibly painful, but having them no longer together and no longer at each other's throats is a major blessing. It was hard to be around them when they were married, because there was always tension and anger and conflict. That feels VERY unsafe to children. My parents, unfortunately, did not shield us from the conflict so we witnessed a lot of ugly fights. But I'm here to tell you that even if we hadn't seen the fights, the tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. That doesn't feel safe for children. It's not a good environment to grow up in.

It's my opinion that, depending on how able you feel to cope with this, it might be better for the kids if you left. Take that decision very seriously, though, because some people are able to repair their marriage. I just know that if I were in your shoes, I could not get past that. An affair, maybe. An affair with my sister? Hell no!

I don't know if this helps or not Best wishes to you in dealing with this. What an awful situation to be in

*safe hugs* if wanted

Angela

[RhysMadison]

I admire you for still trying w/ all of this. That is very admirable. Try to put yourself first though at times. You need to get yourself in order before you can help others. You're only stressing yourself out more.
I wish you all the best. You deserve it!
Love,
RhysMadison

people never cease to amaze me.......that is just the worst insult in the world, coming from him and your sister....it is sick, sick, sick.......and i second everything that sweetcrusader said....i grew up in abusive home and they stayed together....they fought every day...and i always thought i was my fault.......xoxox pat