[Silverband]

I am having a hard time understanding how this all works for me... I mean the dissociation and such! I need to try and better understand what's happening to me and how to "cope" with it so I can "live"! I have been in relationship for over 4 yrs and my GF is VERY supportive of my diagnosis and "recovery", I also have a 7 yr old son from an abusive relationship and my partner and I have soul custody and are parenting him together!
(Just figured I'd throw a bit about me in there)
Any suggestions on how I can start the process of understanding what's happening to me?

~ Kendra ~

[kimmydawn]

hi kendra and welcome! you're very brave and i'm glad you've come here for understanding and support.

abused children and adults used dissociation as a coping mechanism to the abuse.

can you be a bit more specific in what your experience is? there's not much i can't relate to

i hope to hear from you soon and wish you all the best!

kd

[Silverband]

Hi KimmyDawn! Thanks for your reply!
I'll try to explain it a bit better! Here goes! I dissociate ALOT! Alot of my life is missing b/c of it I've been told that when I dissociate I am self destructive to myself! This scares me! And that I hurt others around me! I don't know where to start with accepting/recovering/copeing with Dissociation! You ask me questions and I can answer but to just tell you is hard thing for me to do atm

~ Kendra ~

[Mahali]

Kendra,

Just wanted you to know I read this and will respond tonight. I really have to get to work now.

sorry take care.

place

[fairygirl]

I am in a trauma resolution program. My T also suggested that I work through the book Amongst Ourselves, it's a workbook for folks with DID. I am still in the beginning of the book, but I will get through it eventually.
Good luck with any attempt and remember everything doesn't work for everyone.

Forever
Fi

[Monty_girl]

Hi Kendra,
I guess the first thing I started doing to help me understand better was I started journalling. I don't journal much anymore, but years ago it helped me a great deal. Do you have a T right now? If so you could go over the journal with them. If not maybe write all week in the journal and take one day out of the week to review it. ( when you feel safe to do it ) Think coping with everything is the hardest part. I know for me when I get stressed I dissociate a lot more. Try to limit your stress if you can and take time for yourself when you are able.
Monty

[Silverband]

Thank you all for you responses! I look forward to getting to know all of you more and will take your beginning steps into consideration for myself! I will post something longer later tonight! I have to try and go to the grocery store! aheh, not fun for me :/

~ Kendra ~

[Jinsi]

Hi Kendra (and all )
I'm glad you've been able to come here and have the courage to post and that you are willing and open to learning more about yourself/ves and the dx itself.... I know someone else already mentioned it, but in our system, journalling is absolutely essential !!! What we learned is that journalling doesnt just have to mean paper/pen/words..... it took a long time for ME to realize it, but journalling can also take the form of making collages, coloring pictures, even scribbling sometimes.... I'm sorry, I feel like I'm babbling but wanted to let you know I can epathize with where you're at.
Sending a giant bouquet of fresh flowers,
Jinsi

[RhysMadison]

What I found out is don't push yourself(ves). When you & your parts are ready to move on in coping, it'll come. I had forced myself into recovery years ago when we weren't ready. It made a mess in the system.
If you can ask your parts for help, maybe they'll offer some ways in how to cope w/ living. Journaling is one of the better methods out there.
Keep posting in here & hopefully more things will just come to you. That's how it is for me. If I start writing this stuff down, eventually I'll figure whatever it is out.
Love,
RhysMadison

[Silverband]

The problem me and my other part(s) have is that we don't work together for anything :/ I have not yet been able to learn how to communicate with those parts of me! I'm just in the beginning stages of learning about all of this! I really appreciate the suggestions and I hvae already started journalling! Thanks so much and if ANYONE else has any suggestions PLEASE let me know!

~ Kendra ~

[Mahali]

Kendra,

Do your others talk to anyone? Be patient it will come.

Do you have a safe, quiet place in your home to stop and meditate. I find this is helpfull to be able to relax and listen to those inside. It helps to reduce stress and also to be able to focus internally.

Tell the other(s) that you would like to communicate. Literally tell them. Write it... say it. They will eventually respond. Be patient. I know it is easier said than done.

I wish we could do more.

Take care.

place

[Silverband]

I do have a quiet safe place in my home where I can go to meditate but how would I go about doing this? Stay quiet and just speak to them about how I feel?

~ Kendra ~

[Mahali]

Yes exactly. If you were going to build trust and understanding with another person what would you say? That is what you say.

Maybe explain that you are scared and don't understand. tell them what happened maybe. (ask T about this)

Yes just ask them to talk to you. It may take time but just listen to what they are saying. Feel what are are feeling.

Practice being calm.

Take care my friend.

place

[fgh]

<font color="purple">Hello. I am jj and I am 9 years old. I am a part of a circle. There are lots of circles in our person. There is no one person who is the boss. Writing can be fun buuuttt I like to color or read. Do you read any of the books about people like us? There are lots of them. SOME of them are scarey at times buuuuttt they can tell you how some peple system work. Not every body will write or talk to every body. Every body in our circles is here for a reason our doctor says. BUUUTT our doctor has not made me tell why I am here. I do not tell. It can get bad some times. I am scared now too be cause there is lots going on and some body made us all stop talking to our doctor. Do you have a doctor to talk to? I really like our doctor. jj.

[Silverband]

Hi jj I haven't read any books about people like us yet but I will soon! I do have a Doctor to talk to and my doctor is really nice too!
Thank you for writing to me jj And I hope we can talk again soon!

Hugs from mine to yours

~ Kendra ~

[RhysMadison]

I've read a few books on DID but they can take me over a year to read tho as they are so intense & true to my life.
Just wanted to share that.
Love,
RM

[Silverband]

Thanks for the heads up Rhys! I'll keep that in mind before I start to read them!

~ Kendra ~