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Old Dec 18, 2009, 05:58 PM
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AtreyuFreak AtreyuFreak is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 377
I'm sorry, my heads really mixed up right now, so I'm just gonna rant and it's probably not gonna make sense...

No matter where I go, my past follows me. I'm always reminded of how f***ed up my life is, by DID, by BPD, by depression and anxiety and all this other s***. When I get home, it's either my mother being emotionally abusive or my dad hating being at home. Now, my brother, who has physically, sexually, and emotionally abused me in the past, is coming home. I'm already stressed to the max. I can't handle this. I just can't. I don't know what to do. I'm already in contact with Social Services and Runaway Services and Domestic Abuse shelters...nothing. I just want a place to go, somewhere SAFE, not stress free (because that doesn't exist) but DEFINITELY not as emotionally unhealthy as home. I only have 7 months left until I graduate and can move out on my own. I'm getting a job VERY soon that pays really well for my age and I'm responsible enough. I just don't know what to do. I've been maintaining this sense of "stability" for so long; my grades are way up, I'm sober, I'm happy...ish... I CAN'T throw it all away. I don't want to die. I don't want to go back to being a druggie. But I don't know how much more I can take! I just...need to get the f*** out of this house.

EDIT: I realize there really is no question here. I guess it was mostly just a chance to rant. Remy wrote this, but I guess if you have any advice or...pity?..a reply would be appreciated
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"When the people of the world all know beauty as beauty, There arises the recognition of ugliness. When they know the good as the good, There arises the perception of evil. Therefore Being and non-Being produce each other."

"Suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope."

Last edited by AtreyuFreak; Dec 18, 2009 at 08:21 PM.
Thanks for this!
anderson, Hunny

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  #2  
Old Dec 18, 2009, 10:44 PM
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Hunny Hunny is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,982
Getting stuff out is important and here is hoping things will be more peaceful for you soon.

.
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“Science without religion is lame.
Religion without science is blind.”
Albert Einstein

Thanks for this!
anderson
  #3  
Old Dec 19, 2009, 06:55 AM
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possum220 possum220 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 19,433
Do you have a friend that you might be able to stay with at times?

I do feel for you...... Maybe the school councilor could help?
Thanks for this!
anderson, Hunny
  #4  
Old Dec 19, 2009, 08:13 AM
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DLHsSystm DLHsSystm is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 250
I hear you loud and clear!
I'm really glad you shared your fears and concerns. It sounds rough. Sounds like you have looked into temporary escape routes with not much luck so far. I suggest seeing if you can find somehow to stay as safe as possible over the holidays whatever it takes. You sound like a wonderful and smart person.

Stay safe
Vivian
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Thanks for this!
anderson, Hunny
  #5  
Old Dec 20, 2009, 02:41 AM
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Crew Crew is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 4,718
Hey there Atreyu!!!

I pretty much agree with everyone that has written so far, not sure what else I can add to that. If you can't stay with a friend say, why not at a hotel, a cheap but nice one...

Good Luck...we'll be thinking about cha, sending good vibes along your way.
Thanks for did it feel good when you were done??? I hope so!

Take care...ThaCrew
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later
Thanks for this!
anderson
  #6  
Old Dec 20, 2009, 03:34 PM
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AtreyuFreak AtreyuFreak is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 377
Crew: yes and I love your smileys XD (especially the rant-y one)
__________________
"When the people of the world all know beauty as beauty, There arises the recognition of ugliness. When they know the good as the good, There arises the perception of evil. Therefore Being and non-Being produce each other."

"Suffering produces perserverance; perserverance, character; and character, hope."
Thanks for this!
anderson, Hunny
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