[anderson]

As some of you know me (we) have been doing a thread on The Value of the Valley. At first, we were adding how each chapter we could find ways how it affected our lives. However, when under pressure we stopped because we started to feel like we said too much, that we were being to open on our life events. We were no longer putting our stuff on the table so all could see it. The main reason was that we were going through recall. (OUR HANDS ARE CLOSED TOGETHER IN PRAY, WE PRAYING THAT WE HAVE FINELY GOT ALL THE SEPERATED PARTS JOINING TOGETHER, AMEN) This is very hard on anyone that is going through this. It is still our biggest fear that when we do this that one part will come out and attack first then go under again with out telling us. Therefore, if one of my parts hurt anyone here we do apologize for doing it. Please forgive us for not remember the events around the event. One of the things is that we have not been in chat because the conversation is moving to fast or just too many talking about different topics at the same time. We have also found people that are now willing to let us come to them one on one. This has been very healing for us to be accepted and not afraid for each one of my parts to share a personal feeling and not be judge that we do have different viewpoints. To those we can never say THANK YOU enough from all of us.
During this last couple of days we have been healing and talking to others, we have been hearing truths coming not only form ourselves but others as well. The last chapter was called the valley of other people problems. In this chapter, we reviewed that when we make choices we always have to give to receive what we want in life. Therefore, the finely choice is what you want more out of life. What are you willing to sacrifice to get what you want? For the past 10 years, we have endured abuse from others to keep our son safe from the boogieman of our past. Guess what our son is 15 + years old, we no longer have to sacrifice our selves to keep him safe. When asked to show the marks of being forced to be with someone. I was able to look at that person in the eyes and tell that person the truth. We choice the path of less abuse so that we known we could remember our son. We may have been able to block out the memoirs of these that choice to hurt us to score point within their social group. However, we had to live down what they told others whether it be true or not. We as a whole sacrificed our self-respect to keep our son safe. Now that he is of age, we no longer have the need or desire to endure that which we did for our son. In truth, we can now drop our robe and the only thing that we would truly regret is not holding a child of love in our arms and the special person in our lives enjoying that moment. We as a whole will never regret that which we endured to keep our son safe even when we are in conflict he has always been my pride and joy. It is through him that my other children will survive that which I was not able to protect them from. In life, we make many choices that not only affect ourselves but those around us. I hope some day our (MY) son can forgive us for what people say about us. Even if he does not every fully understand why we did what we did. We have always done what we could to let him have the ability to choice how he would live have own life. Even if it did not feel that way we had to live the way others choice for us to live because we could not face the fact that we lost our children and our strength from the severe abuse that we had endured before we got here. Everyone that comes to this page has memoirs of the past that we do not want to face but each one of us makes that choice daily and it is not an easy choice to make. In truth, it is always the less painful path that is taken by most human beings. I know we would not have faced our past had not the events in my life had not became what they were. Circumstances would not let us take an easy out nor would they let me run from what was happening to us. To us for the past three years we have been in a bird’s cage. Everyone around us could do what ever he or she wanted to us but we were not able to defend ourselves. Our slogan now is “After Three years of having who and what I am shoved down my throat, do you honestly think I don’t know who I am?” In truth we do know who we are, we may still not know all of the details of events that we in truth do not want or need to know. However, we are at peace that we did the best we could do with what we had to work with. In the after mash of yesterday we have no control, we can only go forward. As to those that would prefer me to bow my head in shame, not going to happen. I guess they are just going to deal with their own problems of not liking me as a whole choose life with hope and not accepting the fact that I(WE) have to stay in a town that was taught to hate us cause we are different. The only way we are going to stay is if we can be accepted for our self’s by a small part of the community and have a man accept that we did the best we could do and be able to walk beside me with respect not self pity. We all have made certain choices that we wish we could change but in truth, we can only change our future. I hope that I can do so here with the few that do accept me(us) but if not then let the Great Spirit provide me with a way to find a new beginning some place else.

[krazy_phoenix]

Dear anderson,
Firstly, ((((((((((((((((((anderson)))))))))))))))))))).
Secondly, on behalf of those of us at kp, WE ACCEPT YOU - ALL OF YOU!!! How much you must have struggled, so much of self you must have sacrificed for your son, so much you must have hurt on behalf of your son and due to your community's narrow-mindedness. Be free with those who share similar struggles, sacrifices and hurts, here. I'm not on here much, three of the other 'energies' are, and I know one seeks out your posts with the book. You offer so much of yourself on here, it is very heart-warming and offers me hope of one day being as in touch and accepting of my life as you seem to be (even if others in your life aren't). I hear that you are frustrated, cornered and harangued. Please know that you can come out guns blazing with us but have only support as return fire. I wish you light in all its meanings.

kp

[anderson]

Thank you KP for your surport, I am tired and confused right now. In truth this has been one of my main safe place to come We try so hard to be true to our selfs in the irl as we be here but here we only have a few but it seems those are the people that have a saw tha we can work without hassing. so we get confused we only want to say good thigs but we and we want to sceam more and scream moreWe finely decided that because we only feel worse going to threapy here that we going to sing off. The Mential health here are so closed minded. To us this T was our last option to go to but it be a repeat for us. We choise to honor each other for what we have done for each other yet all they want to do is make us take meds so that we can not comunicate with each other. lord, knows we not perfect but at least give us some rope to hang our selves first just don't just figure out a way to push us of the cliff before u even get to know us. The ones that help us help our selfs here are our life line. Thank you. for being here when we beand for when no one else could.

[Hunny]

Anderson , these choices between better and best, no matter how crumby they are to some others, are familiar to us. When just staying alive and helping loved ones, children (grown now) was all we could do and then feeling the judging eyes, oh yes, we do know! They hurt us by doing so and some aren't getting near us anymore! Only the ones who are truly in the know about us and love us and our children are allowed.

We look back and some past memories have been revealed and are now laid to rest. We see a glimmer of purpose and hope. We truly believe your son will know this truth that you write of as do my children and love his Mom, more than ever. You be lifted up in our eyes, you know, Anderson.

We have to apologise to ourselves like you were teaching from the writings. We seem to be able to see that others, like you, deserve forgiveness for more than we can see for ourself/ves but we are working on it. What more can we do? We made some sad mistakes but we ask G_d to forgive us and so it goes...so must we but it is so hard too, especially the feeling side of things.

Living down things seems impossible at times because those others are mean but we have to quote your writing and say: "What you think of me is not my problem". We trying to get that down inside of us. But, no regrets for doing what we had to do for childrens. We would do worse if we had to.

In truth, we did the best we could, we just did and we're not keeping shame either!!!!

Anderson, you think, you do really think, that if we PRAY we will be unified as one whole? We thought it would be more work than that, but we will try, so we'll keep you posted. We don't mind walking with someone in the future with respect and no pity so...

holding heads high...Thanks, Hunny


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[anderson]

Angels do watch over us.And yes we do believe in pray cause we would not have come here had we not been lead by the Great Spirit. In reading the story of Gives Praise, she tells how it is the change of the mind, the way we think of things that create more healing then any doctor or healer can help you do. But when the mind sees the way the rest is sure to fallow. For me (Us) This was always done in pray And Thank you for letting us know that we be not alone .

Originally Posted by Hunny

Anderson , these choices between better and best, no matter how crumby they are to some others, are familiar to us. When just staying alive and helping loved ones, children (grown now) was all we could do and then feeling the judging eyes, oh yes, we do know! They hurt us by doing so and some aren't getting near us anymore! Only the ones who are truly in the know about us and love us and our children are allowed.

We look back and some past memories have been revealed and are now laid to rest. We see a glimmer of purpose and hope. We truly believe your son will know this truth that you write of as do my children and love his Mom, more than ever. You be lifted up in our eyes, you know, Anderson.

We have to apologise to ourselves like you were teaching from the writings. We seem to be able to see that others, like you, deserve forgiveness for more than we can see for ourself/ves but we are working on it. What more can we do? We made some sad mistakes but we ask G_d to forgive us and so it goes...so must we but it is so hard too, especially the feeling side of things.

Living down things seems impossible at times because those others are mean but we have to quote your writing and say: "What you think of me is not my problem". We trying to get that down inside of us. But, no regrets for doing what we had to do for childrens. We would do worse if we had to.

In truth, we did the best we could, we just did and we're not keeping shame either!!!!

Anderson, you think, you do really think, that if we PRAY we will be unified as one whole? We thought it would be more work than that, but we will try, so we'll keep you posted. We don't mind walking with someone in the future with respect and no pity so...

holding heads high...Thanks, Hunny


.

[Hunny]

Anderson, yes, we are together on these matters. You make me feel not so alone on these things, for sure! Actually truly and honestly like even supported...it is as if you did come along side writing your story and yet I know it was about you but...well, it's kind of magically, mysitical or maybe God or maybe YOU are an angel!

Although I don't usually wait on angels I do wait on God as a rule. Well, let's just say it works better to wait than do prayers of force...lol So, we wait for our integration and do our part.

I am not a believer in 'the power of positive thinking', I'm afraid. It's what got me into a powerful amount of trouble in my past, as I feel it is a smokescreen and keeps people from addressing more-in-depth mattrs. It has it's place though just not in therapy and afterall that is what has brought me/us here.

Vision is a beautiful thing...and I have to thank and honour a rebel older lady like myself, dpsht for giving a view of the future to me that I had not beheld before! Thanks dpsht, be lifted up!

A loving attitude has a caused me to appreciate 'good doctors' and 'good healing practitioners' and 'good people' like you Anderson.

Much thanks Wister!
I believe/love you!!
Hunny

[anderson]

No matter the how or whys you still give us hope WISTER

[krazy_phoenix]

Hope these thread replys mean you'll be staying on here with us anderson?!? All of u?!?

(((((((anderson)))))))) and ((((((((hunny))))))))

amazing forces.

Peace to you both,

kp

[anderson]

WE STAY HERE BUT WHEN THE DOOR OPENS FOR US IN REAL WORLD WE BE MOVING. IF NO ONE CAN LOVE US HERE IT BE TIME TO MOVE AND KEEP PC WORLD A LARGE PART OF OUR LIVES. OUR LAP TOP CAN GO ANYWHERE AND WE CAN FINELY GO ON WITH OUR LIVES THANKS TO THOSE HERE THAT ACCEPTED US WE SEND YOU ALL OUR WOVE AND ACCEPTANCE TO

[Hunny]

As long as it's safe we hope you stay KrazyPhoenix, too.

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