Blending Memories

Well, the past week has been intense with therapy.
We have decided in our mental house to de-construct the place.
All alters are in a conference room.
We have a tent outside under the stars to sleep in while not in the conference room. And we are trying to all stay present at the same time.
We are working with our T to chronologically go through all the individual trauma memories and "blend" them.

This is how we are doing this if anyone wants to try it in their own system:

1) Alter who holds the memory shows it to all other alters - even the little ones. But we are doing this in a very gentle way and not exposing the little one to any emotions of the other. Just a basic fact much like a news report.

2) The other alters each look at the time event and then share something they recall from the surrounding time. For example, our trauma of being chased by two teen boys on bikes and what followed is held mainly by Mick and her fragment alter Mik (without the c). This was a range of age 6-8. During that time, Little One has good memories of us watching drive in movies with our brothers and doing some other fun stuff. We also enjoyed watching Gilligan's Island - so we use that theme song as an auditory blending tool.

3) Once each alter has their own link (even if it is something from later on in life that they can in some way relate back to the trauma as a positive blender (try to use 3 positives for each negative), then they all feel and recall their own part all at the same time.

So far we have done this with two major segments. It is really starting to make me feel differently on the inside. More connected in some way.
It is not easy to do this at all and a bit frightening.
But everyone in the house agrees that this is best for our long term healing.

The benifit is that no alter is being asked to stop being who they are.
((( We with DID know that is NOT really an option! )))
Instead, it just allows full sharing between the people and open communication. There are no more secrets in the house.
And the alters are better able to understand why other alters behave the way they do. For us, this is a huge part of our healing.

Thanks Wepow for putting it the way you did. Some of us are getting more grounded but we are still intergrating. In truth you just said the process that we are using. You are gettiing many cheirs from us and BIG THANKS FOR LETTING US KNOW THAT WE ARE NOT ALONE!

Wow, this does sound interesting WePow. I hope you don't mind, but I have a question about this.

Is this something that can only be done when you have total knowledge of your whole system? Also, don't they all have to be in agreement in order to do this? If so, how did you manage to get them all to agree to this?

I'm sorry if I'm asking too personal a question, I'm just trying to understand. I would not be offended if you didn't want to answer them

I really wish you well on this journey. I hope it helps you all to grow stronger, and healthier!

Sabby, those are great questions. We do have almost complete understanding and co-operation of our system. So to get my small handful of alters (Elaine, Little One, Zachary, and Mick) to agree to the healing was not hard. Mick was the most hesitant as she did not want Little One and youngster Zachary to see what she knew. But when I told her that I was in charge of them and let me handle them, she actually trusted me. I have been working very hard to get her to trust me, so I do not think it would have worked without that trust. And when she is sharing her bad memory in the process of us blending, I ask the Little One and Zachary to both think of very positive fun things from that same time frame. Little One really has the most joy containment and she is doing great sharing like this! So it nuetralized the intensity of Mick's anger energy and pain while she recalls that at the same time the others are recalling their good memories.

Honestly, this is the hardest mental task I have EVER attempted. We are not moving very fast. But I am seeing very healthy result quickly!

I think if you have a couple of alters who are willing to try it, you might be able to blend with just a couple of them at a time and then bring in more as they feel comfortable?

Thanks so much for answering my questions (((((((( WePow )))))))))))

This is a very interesting concept to me. What a great way to combine all kinds of feelings.....I'm so very glad that it's working for you already. I can well imagine it must be a slow process, there is so much to get working all at the same time.

I'm not sure if you meant this question specifically for me or not, but I am not DID, but a very dear friend of mine is. I have a really good relationship with her and most of her system (some I have yet to meet). This is why I was so curious about this blending of memories. I'm always trying to help her find what works best for her in her healing and growth.

Again, thank you very much for sharing this with me and the members. I hope I haven't upset you or you system when I told you I wasn't DID.


sabby

(((( sabby )))) that is just AWESOME you are helping your friend who has DID !!!
It really is helpful for those of us with DID to have a REAL friend who knows our inner peeps. It makes all the difference in the world!

Thank you so much ((((((((((( WePow )))))))))))). I was a bit worried that you might not feel safe about me if I said that, but I certainly didn't want to lead you on thinking that I was DID.

Out of all the friends I've made in this world, I have to say that this one very special friend is at the top of my list with about 2 other friends in my life. She has taught me so much.....from patience, to understanding, to acceptance, to trust and a wonderful kind of friendship I have not experienced before. I so enjoy her intelligence, her innocence, her talents in the arts, and everything else she has to offer. We are very close....so close at times I think we're almost interchangeable

I'm trying hard to learn and understand all I can about her and DID. It's been a rare and wonderful journey with her and I wouldn't trade either for all the money in the world.


sabby

PS.....I'm sorry for hijacking your thread! I'm done now

The joy of committee meetings! Very useful but sometimes some will not come! Ah! I'm very glad you shared this (((((((( WePow )))))))) PS. Were you called something else before?

Sabby - you are too cute :-)
Pegasus, we were going by wpowers :-)