[peaches100]

I'm not sure if this question belongs more in the PTSD forum or here, so I'm putting it in both places.

I have not been diagnosed with DID, but my t says i definitely have dissociation between different parts of me. She has told me that i have child parts that are "stuck in the past." I understand that this refers to parts of me that still hold the pain of past traumas and who, when triggered, behave as though they were reliving the childhood trauma over and over again.

But here's my question. . .

My t has several times said things like, "We need to help the small parts become unburdened when they are ready to do so" and "I want to invite these parts to come into the present when they feel it is safe enough."

What does my t mean when she says the parts need to feel safe enough and/or be ready to get unstuck from the past and come into the present? How do i know when they are ready? What does this mean?

I don't feel like I have any control over when they do this, or if they are ready.

[Elysium]

(((((Peaches)))))

Well, I think this would be a great question for T next time you see her.

From my point of view, it sounds like she is saying this more for the benefit of your smaller parts. From what I've learned working through DID so far, alters can be kept in the subconscious, not really allowed out, but can still be listening inside and also some alters can share info with other alters. This is called being co-conscious.

Now, I believe that dissociation is on a continuum and that you don't have to have DID to have parts. With PTSD it is possible to have more separated ego states, that have not yet been so separated that they become full blown alters. So it may be that your T is attempting to communicate with your ego states/smaller parts on a subconscious level to help gain their trust and help them feel safe. Once this happens, they will start to come forward. It doesn't seem that you have control over this on the outside, but internally when your parts feel ready, you will be able to bring them forward.

I think that sometimes too, T's won't always bring up a diagnosis of DID because some do not want to label it as such as it still has such a high stigma even within the Psychiatric/Psychological communities. Sometimes, I think, it's easier on us (the patients/clients) to just say PTSD with dissociation and leave it at that because PTSD is a much more accepted diagnosis than DID. Not as much stigma. My T says that, in her opinion and some other practitioner's opinions, that DID is merely the most severe form of complex PTSD; that it's at the extreme end of the dissociative spectrum.

Just my thoughts though. Hope this helps.

[anderson]

((((PEACHES))))) If the T is saying that she has seen the small ones then there is a good chance that they are already talking with her during your down time during therapy. To help the younger alters to feel safer in the present. What we did for them was make time to do child like activities. This allowed my younger parts to come out and be a child. We read children stories, watched children movies. Our faviorte is Mulan and the song My face in the mirrior. If you have a special person in your life then make safe time with that person to do child like activites. This one helped ours out alot. It let them know that biggers can be safe to be with. Even at first they would not come all the way out just sat in the back ground until they felt safe coming out to do body time with those around us. That be how we did it.

This has ALOT to do with IFS therapy and little to do with DID (especially if your T said you are not DID).

IFS believes that everyone has parts, that we are all made up of various parts that react and behave according to where they are. So yes, everyone has child parts that are stuck in the behaviors or actions or ways of thinking that a child is at the time of trauma or at the time that was very upsetting. There can be child parts that exist at different ages and stages. It is a way of saying, you have behaviors that are childlike and regressed. So, for example, you might have a part that soothes itself in a harmful way. That part is stuck in a time where it needs to learn to be soothed or soothe itself in a healthy way. Unburdening it is to find out what the part needs, helping it gets it need met, and allowing the Self to understand it.

IFS does believe in DID, but the difference between DID and "normal parts" are that DID parts are more extreme in their behaviors and are separated usually by amnesia. So the Self is not aware of the parts. (this begins to get more like DID therapy)

QUOTE from you:
"My t has several times said things like, "We need to help the small parts become unburdened when they are ready to do so" and "I want to invite these parts to come into the present when they feel it is safe enough."

The above quote is typical IFS language. The bells are ringing!

I suggest that you look up Richard Schwartz who created IFS and get his book. It will tell you everything you need to know. It won't tell you how to do the therapy, but it will help explain what your T is doing and what the parts are that each of us has inside us. And the concepts of unburdening the parts to free the Self.

[loveregardless]

Elysium I found your response to be very helpful, thank you. I also found Anderson's response very helpful, too, in different ways. Solarwind I am going to look into IFS and see what it is you were referring to.

I am finding now that as I open up to my various parts, they are starting to emerge slowly and become more distinct. However still mostly out of reach. The other night I had 3 parts come to me as I was falling asleep. I didn't remember until the next day, and all I remember is that it happened, nothing else. I am taking this to have meant that they aren't ready and don't yet feel safe enough to emerge to my conscious self, but wanted me to know they were there. And that's ok.

I've been trying to allow myself the items/tools I need to feel safe/comforted happy. I bought a new teddy. I want to get some new crayons and coloring books. Purchasing old movies that gave me an escape as a child. And I can tell it is helping, but it is also causing a stirring deep inside that has caused a few eruptions in the past 2 weeks.

I have no official diagnoses yet, my T doesn't even want to talk dx right now, she just wants to work on starting therapy. I go to see her for the second time this Friday.

I would say just be patient and loving with all parts of yourself, allowing each of them what they need to feel accepted, loved, safe and ok.

[WePow]

Great question and answers on this thread!

For us, we had total separation of parts for many years. Typical DID symptoms and such. But with excellent support from our T since July last year, we are now able to talk with all parts inside and even allow them to be able to talk with T while I stayed aware (most of the time) of what is being said.

It is so totally not easy to do.... ugg
It takes a tramendous amount of energy most of the time to do that.
But it really has helped by starting off with T and allowing him to call out the alters and speak with them. Now the young ones do not have a clue as to what year it is - but they don't care either. Typical for that age. But they know T is safe and they can come out and tell him what they think about stuff we are dealing with from the past.

Now with anger alter Mick, she is still having a very hard time with being able to maintain a HERE/NOW stance. In fact, with as far along as we have come, just yesterday while in session, Mick was lost when T asked her to come out and she thought the year was 1985 - the year I was 15 and she was "solidified". T was going to do the talking to pull her back because she was in flashback mode and ready to run and not sure where she was... but I am now strong enough to do this myself and conscious enough as well.

So I kept asking her who she saw infront of her - at first she had no clue. And what year it was? Finally she started to come back around and got the answers right. It took about 5 min of T time to do this, but we did it and that made me feel better to know I am getting strong enough to pull the most damaged part of me back to a safe state of mind.

The way our T is having us get the "parts" unburdened is by actually treating them as individuals when he talks with us. He gives them respect. He asks them what they think. Even when they come out now for the first time in a session, they will tell him Hi and he acknowledges them as though it is the first time he saw us that day.

Keep up the excellent work!