the last two days have been a blur of headaches, foggy surrealness and blurred vision. i don't even wear my glasses when i am using the putter. lots of talking and disconnected. trying to stay focused. no sense of time or matter. someone is cooking someone washed clothes, took a shower, washed hair. just want to go to sleep feel so wiped out can't shake the tunnel vision and headache. what's going on--am i losing my mind or myself have to feed the dogs but can't wake up.
can't live like this--don't even know who i am right now if i am anyone at all if i even exist maybe i don't and all this is a dream or something out of a bad movie. a long hallway a maze all dead ends no place to hide or way out no color only grey and white or beige where is the color run and run and run lots of doors don't open all locked jusst want to sleep no more talk no more tell stop now and turn off.

Sounds like a time of overwhelm.

I can assure you it does pass. I wish I could assure all parts of you.

May I recommend you print out threads you've started and bring to therapy to help keep track of what is happening? It certainly helped me piece together that the dissociation was more than spaciness. I resisted for the longest time but when faced with text copy of things *I* had written or this body recorded under this password/screen name it blew me away. Helped. But wowweee was it some hard reality to face. Be gentle with selves. Be honest with T!!

Even if you're not ready to share this in therapy how about putting these print outs into your journal or journals?

Have faith. This forum is filled with ppl who have had similar experiences. It does pass.

kindly,
__zh

[RhysMadison]

It does pass but it's a doozy to go thru. What I've heard & from my own experience is the headaches, blurred vision are when you dissociate so much. For me, it's a good sign when I get them, 'cos then I know I'm not gonna be 'me' pretty soon. To me, it's my warning to let people know Hey I'm not me. So I can warn my husband.
Printing these out is a wonderful idea ZH!! What I sometimes do is copy/ paste it to my diary that I keep in my Word. Hard enough to write these things the first time, don't want to have to repeat it esp. if "I" didn't write it in the first place. You get that eerie feeling. Or as Urkel says "Did I do that??" Unfortunately, I never knew how to answer that question.
We're here for you. Just keep talking, rambling, ranting. Just write. That's when my people & I find out things. My T always told me write & don't worry if it sounds weird, figure it out later.
Big hugs.
Love,
RM

feeling better today-just tired. thanks for the suggestion--re-read my post. sounds really weird. have a meeting with T tonight with H. don't know if this a good time to share that post. we'll see how it all goes.
wi