How we handle inside conflict with alters.

anderson · Mar 11, 2010, 04:05 PM

We were reading post from others here and doing our daily study. Today study was Weighs the Truth. We are going to simplify it but hope that it will help others here as well.
We were tought that you must take five days to reveiw all information before making decision. This was to help remove the emotional response and to make sure the choice was good for the whole not just for one part.
At first it took longer to get all parts to share their feeling and reasons why they all felt certian ways but this process onces learned has helped us alot in intergration and inner relationships.
*At first do not set up time limit. In a new journal write down the problem. Explane how this effecting the daily life of the whole. Write out what would be the best solution for you. the alter or host with the main problem then asks for those with in to help you all as a whole resolve the problem and that you are willing to take suggestions too. Just leave an open page in notebook to invite inner parts to share their point of veiw. As those come forward to share acknowledge them and thank them for helping the whole to become a family.
*As you look at the response try to put yourself in their place. try to understand why they feel the way they do. Then look at the facts of how they are effecting the lives of the whole. Write this down and address each one that has come to the front to share with positive response and acknowledging the reason you think that they feel that way and ask them to confirm if you understand what they where trying to tell you.
*Find ways to help each other to feel safe and accepting of each other. If you have to do something and one part is fighting it. Maybe it is not time for that part to do it. Ask that part if it will take down time(This is a term we use when a part goes to the other side to do own thing. Not to be aware of what the body is doing) There is no shame in giving parts time out until they are strong enough to deal with what is being dealt with. This is getting the part that has issues not to interfer with others as they do what ever it is that they need to do. But this is with the acceptance that the whole will not be hurt by it.
* by accepting that each one has different needs and still a part of the whole this will allow those with in to come forwards to adress issues instead of sabatoging the situation.
*we hope this helps those here.

Hunny · Mar 14, 2010, 12:44 AM

Anderson

Quote:

Originally Posted by anderson

We were reading post from others here and doing our daily study. Today study was Weighs the Truth. We are going to simplify it but hope that it will help others here as well.
We were tought that you must take five days to reveiw all information before making decision.

This is really so wise, in my humble opinion.

This was to help remove the emotional response and to make sure the choice was good for the whole not just for one part.
At first it took longer to get all parts to share their feeling and reasons why they all felt certian ways but this process onces learned has helped us alot in intergration and inner relationships.
*At first do not set up time limit.

Liking this too...no pressure

In a new journal write down the problem. Explane how this effecting the daily life of the whole. Write out what would be the best solution for you. the alter or host with the main problem then asks for those with in to help you all as a whole resolve the problem and that you are willing to take suggestions too. Just leave an open page in notebook to invite inner parts to share their point of veiw. As those come forward to share acknowledge them and thank them for helping the whole to become a family.
*As you look at the response try to put yourself in their place. try to understand why they feel the way they do. Then look at the facts of how they are effecting the lives of the whole. Write this down and address each one that has come to the front to share with positive response and acknowledging the reason you think that they feel that way and ask them to confirm if you understand what they where trying to tell you.
*Find ways to help each other to feel safe and accepting of each other.

So excellent! Although our narrator does most of the telling so it goes a bit differently but same idea.

If you have to do something and one part is fighting it. Maybe it is not time for that part to do it.

Yes! again no pressure, all in due time.

Ask that part if it will take down time(This is a term we use when a part goes to the other side to do own thing. Not to be aware of what the body is doing) There is no shame in giving parts time out until they are strong enough to deal with what is being dealt with. This is getting the part that has issues not to interfer with others as they do what ever it is that they need to do. But this is with the acceptance that the whole will not be hurt by it.

A break away, a time away, a place at the beach or not allowed to come out till coast is clear.

* by accepting that each one has different needs and still a part of the whole this will allow those with in to come forwards to adress issues instead of sabatoging the situation.

the Impulsive One (name: B C) came out yesterday and so it was important to let her do a risky (but not too risky) thing...she has been a great protector over the years.

*we hope this helps those here.

Indeed, very helpful
Thanks!
Luv,
Hunny

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