[anderson]

We had a new exsperance last weekend. Even at church only a few would talk to us but now more are talking to us and asking us to do things with them. We be scared cause in the past we would let down our garde that we would be hurt by those that had alters under thier control would hurt us. We want to believe that the time of our abuse is over but when even The Mential health is tell others not to acknowlde the possible of DID/MPD. We have many fears yet want to be free from the ignorance of a few men.
The part that hurts us the most is how long it has been since we had people touch us and not want to hurt us. Yes the few men we trusted not to hurt us we tried to stay with but they finaly let us know that others said we scared of them they be the only one we known to hurt us with thier word not with their hands. That why we be alone so much. Thats why we be so lonely when we came here.
Those that believed us to be bad or just scared of those different made others no like us. Now that we have someone talking to us we be scared in what to believe or if they only pertend to hurt us more..
sorry we just learn to be joined again and we going through so much on all ends.

[justdontknow]

(((Anderson))) It sounds like you are going through a tough time. Just know that we are here if you would like to talk. We have babys, littles, teenagers and bigs in our system, so we have all of those covered , but any of us would be willing to talk if you need it. Our littles like to play too if that is needed as well. You don't have to be alone. We are here to help and support you if you would like. We are sending good thoughts and safe hugs (if ok) your way.

Faith

[anderson]

Thank you Faith

[Hunny]

Originally Posted by anderson

We had a new exsperance last weekend. Even at church only a few would talk to us but now more are talking to us and asking us to do things with them.

You are a really wonderful person to talk to Anderson, so this doesn't surprise me at all that they want to spend time with you.

We be scared cause in the past we would let down our garde that we would be hurt by those that had alters under thier control would hurt us.

You are very wary and that is good. Trust is earned not given freely. This is a new group of people to you, I am assuming. Is that correct?

We want to believe that the time of our abuse is over

It is over because you have your protectors watching out for you now, Anderson but the internal others may still have sort-of-like body and mind memories of fear. I struggle with this too.

but when even The Mential health is tell others not to acknowlde the possible of DID/MPD.

How do you know they tell, Anderson. Can you document that and send it on to their superiors. If this is true, it is just so not acceptable..

We have many fears yet want to be free from the ignorance of a few men.

Hallelujah on that! Fear is so dang debilitating. Trust and fear are so closely linked in my experience.


The part that hurts us the most is how long it has been since we had people touch us and not want to hurt us.

People deserve to be touched in a loving way. People can receive a decent, friendly, safe hug but you will want to be perfectly sure the person is a safe person for yourself, building trust a little bit at a time. I have been practising safe hugs for about 10 years now.

Yes the few men we trusted not to hurt us we tried to stay with but they finaly let us know that others said we scared of them they be the only one we known to hurt us with thier word not with their hands.

I guess in a way the ones you trusted were right because you do have some fear but somehow they didn't believe you when you told them that you were not afraid of them. I don't know what to say about them. Why are they so sheepish? It is rather best to be away from them perhaps then.

That why we be alone so much. Thats why we be so lonely when we came here.
Those that believed us to be bad or just scared of those different made others no like us. Now that we have someone talking to us we be scared in what to believe or if they only pertend to hurt us more..

Maybe, just for now, go really slow with these new friends from church. It makes sense. They may be true friends but I am guessing they have their own issues and just in case they are not safe then you have invested only a little. If it works out that you can trust someone, then you both can invest a bit more in each other.

Having said this I am still trying to speak internally to all the parts and trying to get the hurt ones to be a bit more trusting and get the protectors to release me a bit more. It's a constant back and forth.

I talked to some people in a spiritual chat about friends the other day. It really is a complex thing. On PC it is easy to be friendly because we never have to meet but I often wonder what that would look like in real life. I have been thinking that because it feels open to be friendly here on PC it should be like that in person life. For sure PC has afforded a kind of confidence I didn't have have before but even that is a kind of unsure thing in life outside PC. It's probably best to be pretty good friends within the inner family and extend self out after that. It is a big subject for sure.

sorry we just learn to be joined again and we going through so much on all ends.

All the best to you Anderson. It would be good to know what others feel about this subject.

Hunny

[anderson]

Hunny, the fact is we only have one of our last superviser telling us to our face that the TGC ( Last T) told her that they would help her get rid of us. Now weather or not it was true it still had a big effect on all of us. Even one of the head honchoes told us to our face but no we have no proof that is why it is so hard on us to move forward because those few that would tell us that they would take our son then turn us over to the ones that hurt us before that is why we are so confused inside on what to do we had freinds that where with us then when we had a major melt down in public because of the stress they left us or at least gave us the appearance of being alone. Sorry all the memiors of old and new are running in our head just at this moment lost and confused trying to find a way out that will allow the body and all of us be safe when we are devided inside on what to do.

Originally Posted by Hunny

All the best to you Anderson. It would be good to know what others feel about this subject.

Hunny

[Hunny]

TCG, is not familiar to me. I don't live in the USA but it does seem like there is something going on at this particular venue that, gawd forbid, does not seem to get the abusive situation her son would have been in to send him to this family of origin and then to call her names. It is atrocious! She lives in less than average circumstances because of this. I'm outraged and feel that someone must have information that could help Anderson. Not that she is asking. She would prefer to live this way than under these horrible people who are just downright abusive sounding. How do they get away with it?

I wonder if anyone else knows what Anderson could do here. Like who is the level above these folks.

Whatever is going on sounds super scary and could happen to anyone of us. I'm sure it has happened to others here. Might try putting the question to the Forum that is more general. There must be someone who knows something.

Hunny

I am so grateful for a therapist and team that is kind and caring for me. I am not boasting but just saying there are kind, caring and informed therapists. I have had one that abused me so I am extremely grateful.

[anderson]

((((((Hunny and Bees))))))))))
Thank you It has been to long for us to hear those words that someone should be able to protect us. Those here give us the place to sound off and find the valadation of those that should have allowed us to heal but choose to keep us living in our pain. The Really odd question is why a person so far away hears and understand our pain but those next to us use it and excuse the abuse that we get by saying our mential health issues will not let us remember so why worry about your behavior alls fair when it come to a person that is reported to not remember. Dumping here does releive the pressure but it also allows us to heal. You have given us the hope now to hope and pray that we get over remembering the pain that so many in real life has caused us.May those like you and your bees come in our real life to give us real hope as well thank you.

[krazy_phoenix]

I can't believe I just spent 20mins writing a reply to have it disappear when my connection dropped out!!! AAARrrrgggg!!!

Anyway, the gist of it was that I agree with hunny...anderson's experiences with the people in the power to make her life better (yet worse) is absolutely atrocious. I have often thought after reading anderson's posts that it is so wrong to have someone so obviously in need IRL of support and assistance to be continually threatened by those 'professionals'. To not give true and appropriate assistance or support to such a vulnerable tiny family unit is criminal in itself my opinion. Like hunny, I too live in another country to USA, so I have no understanding of the american mental health system but from anderson's and other forum members comments, it certainly seems to be highly flawed to put it mildly!!! I am so sorry that anderson and other members are the victims of such an impossible and fruitless system.

I pray that someone with the power to make anderson's life better, who is also caring, trustworthy and knowing, come into anderson's life and give anderson a comfort anderson has never truly known...protection.

[Hunny]

Here, here!!!

Hunny