[Hunny]

I was looking through my drawings of my parts again today for something that I am doing with them and I just got so dizzy and feeling clamie. I was photocopying them at the library, where I hoped they had a scanner for some other art work I have been doing (they didn't).

I was asking inside (Sparrowtail's famous words) and there was this sudden critical onslaught. It had to stop. I spoke (internally) in no uncertain terms that I would not stand to be spoken to that way. This critical one sounds so much like my verbally and emotionally abusive husband. It seemed to when I said: "Stop" I know this was a part that came as a protector from the actual husband but for goodness sake I only dropped a library book on the ground...it didn't require the whole onslaught of that verbal/emotion abuse. I am trying to apprehend this part before it attacks but it is rather elusive and usually gets me when I am low emotionally. Also, when I saw all those drawings again I just felt in denial, guess I never admitted to having parts while at the library. Um, not sure even why I need to say this but it gets overwhelming sometimes.

Also, have been dealing with a considerable amount of guilt around another matter from earlier this week. Had a few close calls with steam and hot pots. This was kind of disturbing but spent almost all of the therapy session this week on that matter. I am not to blame! How timely to have the words from PapaBear. When my Mom attempted her sui it always feels like my fault even though I was not ever home at the time. Seems when I have to face love and death matters, I am again struck by these guilt feelings. Someone was very sick this week and I felt like I was to blame. Gee, I hadn't seen this person for at least 4 days before. I don't deserve this and I am seeking the peace that goes beyond the natural. I am invited to breakfast with this huband and the rest of the family tomorrow and I am already stressing.

Sorry, I think I am addressing about 5 things here but I just needed to let it unfold.

Thanks everyone,
Hunny

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Hunny))))

Thank you for sharing. I am so glad that you know you do not deserve this. That is one of the most important things. Know that we love you and are thinking of you. Take care of you and breath. Love you. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[anderson]

((((Hunny)))))
We be sitting with you and all things happen in time.

[Hunny]

Still feeling dizzy...and didn't have to go to breakfast

Will get it check, if it persists.

Thanks for you both for your coming alongside and hearing and sitting with me.

Hunny

[justdontknow]

Hunny,

We are sending gentle hugs your way if it is safe and ok. We are glad that you feel confident and safe enough to post things that are bothering you. Just know that all of us here at the hotel are here for your support.

Faith

[krazy_phoenix]

Be safe hunny...

(((((((((((((((hunny & bees)))))))))))))