[Lonely251]

Hi, I have DID (disociation disorder) and my therapist is losing patience with me. I was abused by my dad at a very young age and the abuse lasted in to my teen years. Some may say that my dad is still abusive. I have limited contact with him. The issue I am having with my therapist is that I believe Katrina was abused more than me. I know I was abused but I also know that it was worse for her. My therapist says that I have to accept that what happened to Katrina happened to me. It feels that my world will crash if I do this. I am scared and confused. I was hoping someone else could explain why I need to do this. My dr has but I guess I just need more. Why do I have to do this? Thank you for your help. Donna

[Hunny]

Lonely251,

There are so many folks here that would love to give you some information.

Dissociative people, I have found, are very kind and concerned and have a plethora of information. But, first welcome to PC and to DD Forum. Have you had a chance to read around the Forum here?

I am just wondering if you would be able to say if your system has been seeing your therapist for a while?

All the best,
Hunny

[possum220]

The fact is that you don't have to accept anything. You really cant force it. Accepting it will take as long as it takes. Your therapist shouldn't push the issue.

Take Care

[anderson]

Yes alot of us will be here for you.
True healing comes from within and no one can push it.
just know that you are not alone and we are here to sit with you,
and to cry when you need to do that as well.
Good luck and know that you are not alone.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Lonely251

Hi, I have DID (disociation disorder) and my therapist is losing patience with me. I was abused by my dad at a very young age and the abuse lasted in to my teen years. Some may say that my dad is still abusive. I have limited contact with him. The issue I am having with my therapist is that I believe Katrina was abused more than me. I know I was abused but I also know that it was worse for her. My therapist says that I have to accept that what happened to Katrina happened to me. It feels that my world will crash if I do this. I am scared and confused. I was hoping someone else could explain why I need to do this. My dr has but I guess I just need more. Why do I have to do this? Thank you for your help. Donna

Part of therapy when you have DID is learning the alters and host share one body. my alters didnt have their own separate physical bodys. the alters lived inside my body and shared my body with me.

since its one body, no matter who is in control when the abuse is happening its still the same physical body getting abused.

you and Katrina share your body.
since its one body what is happening to the body happens to everyone in the body physically.

she is probably preparing you for co consciousness. when I started being co conscious with some of my alters the fact that it was one body getting hurt all the time came through very clearly because I felt the pain and emotions of the alters and what happened when they were in control of the body.

If you dont accept that its one physical body so what happens when you are in control happens to everyone in the body when you start feeling those emotions and pain that katrina shares with you when you develop co consciousness of those memories there will be so much more confusion, fear and it could affect everyone that shares your body.

by accepting its one body so what physically happens happens to all when that moment of shared memories and emotions happen you are better prepared to understanding whats going on and get through that moment better.

you dont have to do the excepting of what happened to your phyisical body also happened to katrina cause its one body and what happened to katrina happened to you because its one physical body shared by both of you, all at once.

you can take your time and pick something small that you and katrina have in common and work your way up.

[krazy_phoenix]

Welcome to PC and DD forum. I dont have any answers for you, just wanted to wave a hand of friendship, and wish you luck on your journey. I have found the people here to be so open-hearted and willingly part with information and experiences that has gone a huge way to being a part of my own healing journey. Hope that this is the case for you also.
Best of luck,
kp

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Lonely))))

We have all been where you are and it takes time for one to understand and to accept those within as ones self. As you do this work and you begin to listen to one another and gain co-consciousness you will begin to trust even yourselves. Then you will begin to understand.

It was very hard for me to accept this for each was separate and to me were not part of myself. But as we grew and began to listen and gain co-conscioueness it took place. It could not be forced for until I was able and ready to hear and understand it was not going to happen.

Give yourself time to work and to accpet. When it is time you will get the understanding. So many times someone will try to explain things to us. But until I was ready and could hear it did not make sense. Give yourself that space you need.

For us all trust was never there and if trust was never there how did we know. How could we trust something when trust did not exist. It has taken time to get to where we are now. No one can make you understand or get to that point except yourself.

As you grow within and begin to reach within you will get that knowledge. The fact that you all share one body means that they are all part of you----the totality of you. There is nothing wrong with where you are. For I believe that we each are right where we are suppose to be right now.

Please be patient with yourself and know that we are here for you. We will do our best to listen and support you. This is a journey we are all on and though we all have similar thoughts and things we go through it is different for each of us. Some are farther than others and some are just beginning this journey, and many are walking together. But we all are here to support and listen and encourage where we can.

Know that we care and be patient as you will get there in time. Remember to breath and to listen to yourself. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps