Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 08:42 AM
kimmydawn's Avatar
kimmydawn kimmydawn is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
do each of you have one? if so, do you care to share? it's like this entire system is similar to a lighthouse. i am at the beacon, with the largest and most complete view. the others are in different levels of the lighthouse and are keeper of the various windows. their views are limited to only that which they can see from their windows. when a storm comes, the lighthouse is reconstructed. windows are changed and placed differently. my goal in therapy is for everyone to come up to the beacon with me and share the entire view...

MY LIGHTHOUSE

Come with me, if you will, and tour the lighthouse in my mind.
A testament of solace, escape and safety there we'll find.
The lantern atop shines bright where the darkest of darkness falls.
She draws the lost and weathered alike. They rest within her halls.

This unique structure, forged from necessity so many years ago,
Now shines her light and reflects with it many images of lost souls.
These victims of circumstance came to her battered and storm-worn
She gave them shelter and respite; safety to mend that which was torn.

These children of fate found comfort from which they wanted not to depart.
The lighthouse was created to bring the lost safety within its heart.
Soon then its interior was restructured to accomodate it's broken guests.
Walls were erected to form rooms offering places to hide, play or rest.

Each occupant has its own view to watch for the return of the storm.
The rage that brought them there; the one that caused them such harm.
They hide in their rooms, seeing only the views from their safe portals.
Time to time, they visit with each other deep within the interior halls.

Some never plan to leave the comfort and safety they have found.
They fear the outside world, where never again they plan to bound.
Others carefully plan a venture in the world they still long to know.
They sneak out at the perfect time, their seeds they need to sow.

Despite their journeys on cruel seas that brought them to this place,
They lived to tell their stories of the terrors they could not face.
So, as you walk with me and enter into this lighthouse so rare.
Know that the fragile live within. Please handle them with care.
__________________

advertisement
  #2  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 10:11 AM
Mahali Mahali is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,465
That is a wonderful way to explain the system you are a part of.

Thank you for sharing with us.

place
__________________
Hello my way of explaining my system...
  #3  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 11:16 AM
white_iris
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
How did you figure out your lighthouse??? I wish that I could explain us! We still seem to be trying to figure us out. I know all systems are different, but I feel like we are a kalidoscope that just keeps turning and changing. Just when I think I know something about us, it all turns to another pattern.
We do have one who is like the librarian/reporter, some inside say the busybody who knows alot of what is going on, reports to T or H or you guys. Acts alot like the portrayed old maid librarian with a bit of gossip going on. She has access to the memories that the others have put on library shelves or in the "card catalog". She is very protective of the information as far as allowing others in this library but will talk about things on the outside like she is the main person in control.
I don't know where the others are. I can hear them sometimes. I know Vicki and deedee. But I don't know where they are. I don't know any others, though I found something written by our "librarian" to T with a description of each person in the system. She called us an inside family. She says SHE is the main personality and knows everything. I don't feel it is that way at all. But then again, I don't really know much about us right now.
Seems Vicki and deedee are the only ones who really have made themselves known to you as separate.
I am really confused. I'm not White Iris.
Miss Di
  #4  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 11:19 AM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I don't have a system.
I'm all alone. my way of explaining my system...
  #5  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 11:25 AM
kimmydawn's Avatar
kimmydawn kimmydawn is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
you don't have to know alot about system to make a simile. for instance, i know very little about insiders only that they're there and at different levels. i don't described specifics...only how it appears to me when i look inside with a wide scope.

you'll figure it out. this was "given" to me in the bathtub when i was posing the question as to how i could explain to t.

be safe and gl!

kd
__________________
  #6  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 11:25 AM
kimmydawn's Avatar
kimmydawn kimmydawn is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
and that makes you sad or not?

kd
__________________
  #7  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 11:27 AM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
sad and lost my way of explaining my system...
  #8  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 11:30 AM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I'm not sure I have a system either. I'm still really new to this and don't even know whether I fit into a "diagnosis". But my counsellor says how I am feeling is not surprising and was a way for me to cope when things were hard.
There are 3 Carolines. The adult one is the one who is out most of the time. She is a teacher and mum, and can encourage and help others.
When I am stressed or scared or under more pressure than Big Caroline can handle, Little Caroline takes over. she is very scared, about 9 I guess. She is very critical of herself. She is the one who looks after other people and gets very worried if things are not right. She sees it as her job to make everyone else feel OK. Whe is lonely a lot of the time because she is scared to get too close to people. She thinks if she does they won't like her.
Then there is a littler one, who at the moment wwe don't have a name for. She is that baby and is about 4 or 5 I think. She doesn't come out much, but when she does she is a happy, carefree person who likes to be silly and have fun. She has the confidence the other two don't have. My counsellor wants me to encourage her to come out more.
  #9  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 11:49 AM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I wish I could go inside the big safe lighthouse.
I wish I could be filed away at the library.
But nobody wants a little broken piece.
my way of explaining my system...
  #10  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 11:59 AM
shadowdancer's Avatar
shadowdancer shadowdancer is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2005
Posts: 558
i wish i could have a system too, petunia. but everybody here wants this lovely petunia flower! you are not a 'piece' you are a wonderful individiual YOU and that's just great for us here! am i right guys???? my way of explaining my system...

my way of explaining my system... (((((((((((((petunia)))))))))))))))

-shadow

PS, kd...i think it's a neat way to map our your system. my way of explaining my system...
__________________
i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much
the scars remind me
the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel
~Papa Roach
  #11  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 12:14 PM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Certainly! Think about jigsaw puzzles - every little piece is vital. You know how frustrating it is to get to the end and find a piece is missing? Well, that's how it would be here if you were missing.

Caroline
  #12  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 12:23 PM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
my way of explaining my system...
I see kimmy.
my way of explaining my system...
  #13  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 03:21 PM
Miss_A Miss_A is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2005
Posts: 1,274
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{kd}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

A bit complex for my understanding. But I kind of get it DID.

my way of explaining my system...
  #14  
Old Aug 01, 2005, 11:41 PM
Mahali Mahali is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,465
my way of explaining my system...
__________________
Hello my way of explaining my system...
  #15  
Old Aug 02, 2005, 12:02 AM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Place,

You and Kimmy are two of the kindest, strongest, most beautiful people I have had the honor of meeting.

Thank you both for sharing your incredible selves with me.

Petunia
  #16  
Old Aug 02, 2005, 12:35 AM
kimmydawn's Avatar
kimmydawn kimmydawn is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
((((((((((((((place))))))))))))))))))) how wonderful and beautiful. what a wonderful way of helping someone to understand that strong, resilient system.

you all are wonderful.

kd
__________________
  #17  
Old Aug 02, 2005, 10:16 AM
white_iris
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
My H and I were talking about my system and he said that he sees ME as a multifacited diamond. But he sees the system as a constellation of stars. All separate but creating something beautiful. All important to the whole of the constellation. Like Orion. (my personal favorite). He said that we (all of us) should come up with a name for our constellation. It's an interesting idea.
Miss Di
  #18  
Old Aug 02, 2005, 10:19 AM
white_iris
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Petunia
You could come into our system. Don't feel alone.
Vicki, deedee, w_i, Miss Di
  #19  
Old Aug 02, 2005, 11:13 PM
Mahali Mahali is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,465
Thank you Petunia...that is a great honor you have given us. (((((( Petunia )))))) We are very glad to have met you.

Thank you too kd. You have always been such a help to us.

Thank you for sharing Miss Di...coming up with a name...what a wonderful task you have ahead of you. That is a great way to explain your system.

Take care all of you.

place
__________________
Hello my way of explaining my system...
  #20  
Old Aug 03, 2005, 01:16 AM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
It's not really a cohesive system. I don't see it as an icon of sorts. It's just a confusing mess of swirling stuff.


LITTLE ONE

My yellow dress has white daisies on it and two big pockets on the front. It doesn't have any sleeves though, because it is summertime. My hair is pulled back in pigtails and tied with pretty ribbons. I bet if I could see myself in the mirror I'd look like a giant ray of sunshine.

I stand on my tippy-toes and look inside the drawer for my best pair of white socks. They have ruffles on the ankles and look nice with my shoes. I have to find them real fast before Flowerchild wakes up. She won't let me wear them. "You're such a little baby," she will say. "Freakin' stupid baby socks."

I have to go to the job today, so I have to look my best. I'm not allowed to talk at the job . I must look cute and smile all day. Sometimes I am called upon to giggle with the co-workers or eat birthday cake in the lunchroom. It is hard work.

I find my lacy ankle socks and sit down on the bed. I pull them up over my toes while I sing, I've been working' on the railroad, all the live long day.

FLOWERCHILD

I throw the stupid white things on the floor. Like I might ever wear freakin' ankle socks. I don't ever wear socks. Even in the dead of winter I walk around barefoot. Snow, ice, it doesn't hurt. If I get frostbite I'll just hack my frozen feet off at the ankles. No frilly socks to worry about then.

We all have to go to the job today. Pisses me off. I don't see why I have to go. I hate plastic people and tight-assed bosses, or anyone with authority for that matter. But Grown-up won't let me stay home after last night. Not after I told her to climb up on the roof and jump, or to go sit in the garage with the car running. I told her to tie weights to the very ankles that Little One wants to put white lace on, and go fling her fat *** in the pool.

Then I would finally be free. I could wear my jeans to the job . The ones with the sewn-on patches. Zig-zag man, American flag, peace sign. And when the boss-man said "Hon, can you get me this. Sweetie, can you grab me that." Grab this , is what this cool chick with the cool jeans would say. I sit on the bed, slip into my favorite pair and sing, Take this job and shove it, I ain't working' here no more.

GROWNUP

Don't cry , I tell myself as I pick up the little white socks off the floor. I don't even remember buying the damn things and now I find myself folding the ancient jeans that make their way out of the closet way too often now. What is happening to me.

I smooth out the sheets and straighten out the blanket. Tuck-tuck, fluff-fluff, the bed is made to perfection. Look how neat and tidy the house is. Just like my hair. Just like my clothes. I look damn good on the job . See how well-put together I am Mr. So-And-So? Nice to see you again Mrs. What's-Your-Name.

I don't want to go. I'm afraid I'll lose control. I'll say the wrong thing. Laugh at the wrong time. Cry. But there are bills to pay and little white socks to buy. Plus T, and P-doc, and meds.

I sit on the bed, roll on my pantyhose and sing, Working nine to five, what a way to make a living.

"This is also posted in Creative Corner as The Job."
  #21  
Old Aug 03, 2005, 08:39 AM
kimmydawn's Avatar
kimmydawn kimmydawn is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
how beautiful and wonderful w_i. it must be so great to have a hubby to understand!

excellent.

kd
__________________
  #22  
Old Aug 03, 2005, 12:13 PM
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Shadowdancer.
I told you.
Petunia
  #23  
Old Aug 03, 2005, 12:18 PM
kimmydawn's Avatar
kimmydawn kimmydawn is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
((((((((((((((Petunia)))))))))))))))))) you always blow me away with your gift of words. what a wonderful gift i think you have in showing "regular" ppl what our thinking is like.

what a wonderful thing. i hope this gets out there. ppl need to know.

be safe and well done!

kd
__________________
  #24  
Old Aug 03, 2005, 12:21 PM
kimmydawn's Avatar
kimmydawn kimmydawn is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
petunia, i just now saw your first post as i was reading the lighthouse thing again.

darlin, just imagine yourselves safe inside. it's plenty big! lol. the halls are dark though, so bring a flashlight. my way of explaining my system...

kd
__________________
  #25  
Old Aug 03, 2005, 12:21 PM
white_iris
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
he is VERY special. that is why this is so difficult. i have put hiim through YEARS of my craziness. hoping that eventually i will be able to give him a real wife and get there BEFORE i turn 60!! ten years ought to be enough time to get it all together yes???
w_i
Reply
Views: 2052

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Question about explaining how i sabotage to new pdoc for therapy Anonymous81711 Psychotherapy 5 Feb 10, 2008 06:55 PM
"it's the system, You can't take on the system" wisewoman Other Mental Health Discussion 4 Nov 24, 2007 01:04 AM
explaining to a 6yo... (may trigger???) sujunew Grief and Loss 10 Jul 11, 2006 11:16 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:44 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.