my way of explaining my system...

Thanks Kimmy.

You know it knocks me for a loop every time I write like this or, even worse, *gasp* share.

But if you think it helps...

Petunia

you wrote beautifully petunia. i think that's a great way to write about it. i send hugs to all of you, esp to the confuzzled grownup. take care.

-shadow

Think that everyone's system is special. It's your own, it works for you, even if you don't know much about how it works right now. It's your's and no one else's.

My system lives in a house. It goes straight back. The farther back you go the darker it is. Some of my "pieces" live in the lighter part of the house and are the ones of complete daily jobs in the outside world. They can watch through the large front window at the outside world. Step out the door and they are in control of the body.

We still find pieces that live in the darkest. It's hard because I don't know how many actually live in the darkness. Many of the pieces in the darkness hold the bad memories or hard to deal with emotions. Very many of the pieces are emotional pieces. Only able to hold that one emotion. I've been said to be an unfeeling b****. But the emotions are there. Just someone else holds them or expresses them.

I liked what Caroline said about the jigsaw. I always thought of my pieces as a glass that was dropped and broken. Someone swept us under the rug and everytime someone walks over us, we break into more pieces.
So anyone got the glue?????????
Monty

I didn't understand at first about the system.
I don't know if I have a system but if I do it is like a dark dark cave. The different parts have tunnels between them but it is very dark and scary and I don't know how to get form one to another.

I think jigsaws is nicer than broken glass cos when you put all the pieces together you dont see the cracks and I don't like to think of monty being hurt by people treading on her. But if you want to be a piece of broken glass and put back we can find some glue here I am sure.

LC

Thank you so much for sharing everybody. I think it help all to understand.

Take care.

place

(((((Monty))))

We have the feeling that the glass mirror is broken into pieces, we are parts that are away and separate from each other . There's a sadness within- if they were to be all found that they wouldn't fit together and be a whole.

T has helped to try to bring communication but each one of us still goes their separate way, each part has a special appointment that came because there was someone needed and she stepped up to be born for the challenge. There isn't a central part because all were born because of adversity - starting a new part's life. When life was too hard for a part, instead of dying- a new part was born- and it happened again and again. i really want there to be a central connection but there isn't one.
We've used a campfire to meet at and there's a cabin with bunks but it's not the real place because there isn't any - it's a 'time-out' vacation place just for meetings. The real place is in the real world. Most of my parts live in the real world now or they have lived some time before. Some have been too hurt and are inside always to be protected from living outside forever i think but we don't have an inside system but an outside one. Inside is kind of a protective safe room the hurt ones always stay in.

It's confusing having no unified outside life. We're working with T to communicate and try to get things less confusing to live.

Kimmy, i love your lighthouse. It's beautiful.

tears.

kerria

I believe you will succeed! The lighthouse is such a positive/perfect simile- a structure for those seeking guidance during hardship. You seem very pro-active.

I wish you the best

Kimmydawn - I just had to reply after reading about your system. I have for several years now collected "Lighthouses." Infact this summer we went on a vacation and visited several lighthouses and took many pictures....yet to be developed. Lighthouses seems so natural to being safe and providing security. Your words in your poem makes me think if I have been seeing lighthouses in this sense and just not knowing. Your poem should be published!!!!!!!

Chalkdust

There are as many ways of understanding your system as there are people--- I find it interesting to hear about others systems, how they work. It takes time though, work on inner communication to find out about these things, so please, don't feel inferior if you haven't got yours figured out. Chances are VERY GOOD that you do have a very very logical, though complex system that has worked for years without your knowledge. It's the breakdown of the system that eventually makes it come to our awareness---- hey, this isn't working anymore!!!!!
I have watched my system change. Over the years, we haven't moved locations, gone from underground to above ground inside a great tree that houses us, where each one has their own room that they can decorate their way, or they can choose to not be alone, that feels good too, a lot of times. The more experienced parts reach out to solace those that are coming out, sharing for the first times, trying to get used to the outside world and the unknown of the inside that they haven't seen before.
I am thankful for this post because it reminds me of the most beautiful thing about being multiple- for us-
is that we never really have to be alone. There is always someone inside, and we have safe places created inside where we can go, for comfort or protection, rest or fun. Our favorite place is a cave where the waves of the ocean come softly in- the ceiling is like a kalidescope with partitions for each part to contain memories or feelings that are too hard to deal with at present or ongoingly. We have a part who can see into each container, this part knows all the other parts and is a go-between when we need her to be.
We also have a waterfall, where we can control some of the chaos by turning down the current... a boat on the ocean where time can pass safely for parts that are in danger of being triggered... so many things, places inside.....prism