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Old Nov 09, 2010, 04:44 PM
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brittfly brittfly is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: MA-USA
Posts: 82
as i said i am seeing a new doc.. havn't been the three years... in those three years i learn from parts my pediatrician was one of our abusers. Now the trickyer part i have had memories for me about what happened but not the feelings of what it was like. I know details soiund of his voice but not the feelings. i have had flashbacks of other things surrounding many visits to doc and mom being "in on it" she was my abuser as well.

soooo i am thinking i can help my parts cuz i have no "feelings" of course i have feelings but don't know what it was like for two of them. I am hoping i can be the strong one and be out and grounded and talk to parts through the whole thing and see what happens after.

I only plan on telling new doc i have depression and ptsd i have learned to keep DID out of doctors ears in fear of what they may think. I believe in going to doc ... i need some blood work and a gyn exam.. cancer in family and right now i have insurance so need to take advantage of that.

Soooo i guess the question is ... we have never been to the doc with me knowing. I have no idea how it is going to feel for me or myparts. how to best prepare me and parts. I go on Friday. No t until monday but can page him if we get in trouble. I don't know...just want a new chance with new doc.. build good relationship open and honest but mostly i don't want to freak when i get home and have flashbacks or i worry about that. my parts r nervous we see t on thrusday going to talk about it. he knows.

For so manyt hings latly i know a lot... i know almost everything i think..more and more it is not just knowing the details but the feelings like it was when it happpend.... we saw our pediatrition until we were 12... that is a a lot of stuff there.

I think we will get through it fine just worried about the aftermath... driving home even. Does this sound stupid??? Does anyone have advice??? Latly i have no choice but to know how it all felt for so many years froms o many different abusers but this one i don't... don't know if I want to.

any advise would we would be grateful for... i thought of getting toys after... bubble bath... yummy food... safe things. for the littles but i don'nt know about me. I am aftraid of knowing the feelings... just afraid..

I don't know if any of this makes sense... if u have any ideas it would be great. thanks so much!!!!

Last edited by bipolar_bear; Nov 09, 2010 at 07:47 PM.

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  #2  
Old Nov 09, 2010, 04:46 PM
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Miracle1986 Miracle1986 is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Lost in thought
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Sorry I don't have any good advice but I wanted to offer you a big
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  #3  
Old Nov 09, 2010, 08:15 PM
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bipolar_bear bipolar_bear is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,106
(((((((((((((((((brittfly))))))))))))))))))))) I am so glad you are taking care of yourself. What a brave thing for you to do with what happened in the past. It is a wonderful idea to get soothing things for all of you. Self care is so important. Know I am here if you want some support before or after your visit.

BB
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seeing new doc for physical.. different than last time


  #4  
Old Nov 10, 2010, 02:00 AM
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Hunny Hunny is offline
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Quote:
i thought of getting toys after... bubble bath... yummy food... safe things. for the littles but i don'nt know about me. I am aftraid of knowing the feelings... just afraid..
I just think this sounds like soooo much fun and really makes me think you know how to take really 'good' care of yourselves.

Is there someone who can drive you there and home and wait in the waiting room with you?

Thoughts of care go out to you.
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Religion without science is blind.”
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  #5  
Old Nov 10, 2010, 05:56 PM
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brittfly brittfly is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: MA-USA
Posts: 82
thanks for the replies.... hugs to u all...i think it will be okay... just unknown... so we r going to tak really good care of self.. as much as we can and just get it over with and celebrate when it is over!!!
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