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#1
Jul 17, 2010, 07:58 PM
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Cores husband today,without consulting anyone of us,contacted her grandparents who are cores primary CSA and up until today had been completely cut out of our lives for over 2 years. their car is about to die and he felt he had no other options but now all of us are desperate and despondent,terrified and shaking. we just saw him a few minutes ago and we arent doing well at all. we feel so invalidated and invisible we cannot handle having contact with them anymore and now his little son will be allowed to see them as well. we want to leave so badly
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#2
Jul 17, 2010, 08:04 PM
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 I am sorry this is happening I hope you remember you can always post here
__________________
 "Look at me, I'm a tangled puppet--I might be a mess, but I sure can survive." --4 Non Blondes "We don't create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay." --Lynda Barry "Years Teach Us More Then Books" |
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#3
Jul 17, 2010, 11:18 PM
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(((Trinity Dancer)))
I'm so sorry you were invalidated. Please stay safe. 
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#4
Jul 18, 2010, 12:50 PM
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(((hugs))) can you tell him or something. it will be alright...
__________________
I hope, I dream, I wish, for a better tomorrow.....
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#5
Jul 18, 2010, 07:12 PM
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((((((((((TrinityDancer))))))))))
take a deep breathe, and let it out slowly. Remember to ground yourself to where you are right now...feel the floor under your feet, feel the material of the sofa or chair you are sitting in, feel the fabric of that couch or chair you are sitting in. IF you have to, get up and go into another room, or go out the back door, sit for a while on the porch or back steps until you hear the car start. Then you can get up, go back inside, and be okay. Just remember to breathe hon, just remember to breathe. Jewels 
__________________
True love exists when we lose ourselves to invest in the care of others. |
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#6
Jul 18, 2010, 07:36 PM
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thank you everyone who replied. we spoke to counselor for almost 90 minutes this morning and she helped us create boundaries and emailed them to us as we were on the phone so husband could read them. she wrote a total of 3 emails to help us and today husband read them and is willing to accept our boundaries we are going to be working on this a much as needed in sessions thankfully but still just the thought of them makes us feel terrified
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 anderson
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#7
Jul 18, 2010, 07:44 PM
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I am SO glad that your counselor helped. You had every right to feel the way you did. I hope the husband will honestly stick to the boundaries set!
Safe hugs for you!
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#8
Jul 19, 2010, 04:41 PM
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Boundeirs are really hard on us to we are glad that you T gave you the help you needed to help your husband understand too Sending safe hugs and thought till those within find peace.
__________________
Sometimes the only way to find freedom is to fight for it, even unto death! Because no form of abuse transcends pass it! To live free and with hope is still the greatest gift of life!- anderson .gif "Boy Angel")
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#9
Jul 19, 2010, 06:57 PM
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#10
Jul 19, 2010, 08:10 PM
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(((Trinitydancer)))
We are here for you
__________________
It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#11
Jul 19, 2010, 08:13 PM
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((((trinity))))
Thank you for posting. I am so sorry that this happened today but I am glad that you reached out to your councelor and that she emailed you back. The fact that the cores husband read then and is willing to step up to do what is needed to keep you all safe is good. Remember to breath and to keep asking for what it is you need. Sometimes we have to ask for others do not get it or understand until we tell them. It is important to ask for what you as a system needs so you can be safe. I am proud of you all for working together and reaching out to get help. I know how scary it can be at times when those that hurt us step back into our lives and others do not understand. I hope you will keep breathing and reaching. Know we are here for you and we care. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always. dps  
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#12
Jul 20, 2010, 09:54 PM
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we just cannot deal anymore and nobody IRL is stepping up to offer any help here is what we have now
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#13
Jul 22, 2010, 02:56 AM
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We are very sorry you are feeling so alone right now everybody deserves to have some help when they need it and ask for it. we hope your counselor can step up and try to help some more and core's husband needs to do his part you were very brave to talk to him and tell him what you need. it is very lonely when no one irl is helping but sometimes you jsut have to keep asking different ways until they can understand.
lots and lots of 's for trinity
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#14
Jul 22, 2010, 06:35 AM
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((((((((trinitydancer))))))))
Adding my support and sending gentle hugs Rhiannon
__________________
 Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you |
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