[danxt]

You've been 'somewhere else' or at least not where you are 'consiously,' some time has passed without you even realising it, the world has carried on moving around without you and suddenly find yourself here, you smile, wonder what the hell it is that your doing/what you really wish or hope to achieve and you pause. You try and re-establish yourself but whatever 'role' you where on seems to have ended.

How can someone live like this; a lot of people don't understand (and excuse my thinking; one thing does not necessarily correlate to the other). But I can and I do...... I am very far removed from people, from everyone..... And it's manifested.....

Maybe i'm just spitting out words, and i can put myself there, get swept away in this thought. Maybe i'm seeking 'expression.'........ it's difficult to express such 'darkness;' this truth that removes you. It's madness, complete madness and what can one gain from it?? Gain from 'giving it,' 'passing' it?? Who needs this in their lives....?? Back to the 'madness' that is and that escalates and swirls around in this beautiful yet dark oblivion which is your mind; your thoughts and dreams.

You have to come to grips with what your thinking...... But there is no coming to grips with it!! There is no end, no beginning........ I take a breath and sink into this abyss. Here i am again. Lovely . yeah....

I don't know, one has to wonder what is good for them?? I feel like apologising...... Anyway not to read too much into anything..... Always sounds worse than it is; worse than what these 'waters' hold.

God knows.....

Its one hell of a way to live..... But one does.

One is looking for something but its certainly not sympathy!!

You don't mind me spitting out words?? I don't know if this would fall within any 'grounds;' that of being constructive.

I certainly think if there's people out there with a problem with dissociation I'm one of them. Not that I think this is my only problem haha. Ya, i'm pretty sure i'm bipolar also. People don't seem to like to 'mix' the two but for me it's perfectly reasonable to assume that the two might co-exist together and even feed off each other.

Anyway just some of my blabber....

Wish everyone the best.

[Lillyleaf]

Wish ya the best to hugs
Scarlet

[FeelingHopeful]

The best to you too!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello banxt

Symbiosis is a state where one organism exists off the other to detriment of the hosts and the organism. There are tests which seperate these disorders by virtue of nuances not known to the person being tested.

For instance I have to see a pdoc to have a test for DID. I know what I feel and I know what I experience but that does not mean I have DID. It only points toward that I might have something that could be dissociation or DID. I could have something else altogether.

Others are supporting me in the mean time because I feel that I am more than one person and there are at least 4 distinct personalities that I exhibit. Doesn't mean I have DID, doesn't mean I am manic etc. I also have racing thoughts too though I have MADD not ADHD or ADD.

The quizzes available on this site are not a diagnosis; they offer a possibility and indication of whether you should see a doctor for help with those symptoms. Please do yourself a favour and go to a doctor.

I really wish you luck with this because it would be playing havoc with your mind and with your levels of personal peace,

Rhiannon

[danxt]

I will see someone......

I know the definition ...... In my thought i mixed words, my train of thought was more that there would be a synergy between the two.... 'Synergistic' relationship.

I'm pretty sure i've got more than one 'disorder,' and i'm not diagnosing myself based on these quizzes (just possibly gaining additional insight)...... more with what to look for..... The symptoms are real. Definitions i feel open to variation.

Just trains of thought, which often change, yet materialize in their moments.....

Bloody hell i've got quite a few symptems, and unfortunately they are real, and it may be one or the other (or one more than the other) but one or other definition certainly doesn't encompass all and i'm not so worried about the definition as such, or in it's name, just what has manifested in me....... Those parts and those symptoms that are to my detriment.....

My levels of personal peace...... sometimes....... sometimes far from it, my thoughts do wreak havoc..... in my mind and this 'moves' many 'areas' of my life......

I sound bad, worse on occasion, but things change..... I'm not too bad Just not the most 'stable' or 'solid' and more 'with the wind.'

[danxt]

Thanks for the hugs and wishes!!

[danxt]

There's just all the subtle differences in the world........- Definitions taken just cos they paint a 'pretty' accurate picture, and it's 'name' substantiating it.

[danxt]

anyway right now i'm in a very different state of mind!! .

Wish u all the best,

Ciao

[anderson]

((((danxt))))
We are many things and the hardest part is being able to find the middle ground. To be who we are and be able to work with those around us. sending safe hugs and thoughts just know that we all feel this way time to time.

[danxt]

on second thought symbiosis- not necessarily where one exists to the detriment of the other......sometimes the opposite..... Different definitions are taken possibly in psychological application however my meaning is where one 'lives' or 'thrives' off the other.

[Nupoet64]

danxt....found the post very interesting. It is a good discription of some of my days.... You are not alone in the journey, wishing you the best.....
safe hugs