[onlymedid]

T and I are trying to work on a time line of "my" life. Living with DID makes this process very difficult.
There are some things I can only remember based off of the ages of my other family members.
There are years I don't remember. There are people I don't remember, but they are in pictures.

Today I had to tell her again about an incident that happened when I was 10, 11 or 12, I don't know.
It is an unsolved mystery in our family and it bothers me so much that it haunts me.

Part of me doesn't know if I want to keep doing the time line because it's so scary. I am afraid of other things coming up that I don't want to know about now. At the same time, I know that there is so much being held up inside that I "need" to know about.

Has anyone else ever done a time line? How did it work out for you?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by onlymedid

T and I are trying to work on a time line of "my" life. Living with DID makes this process very difficult.
There are some things I can only remember based off of the ages of my other family members.
There are years I don't remember. There are people I don't remember, but they are in pictures.

Today I had to tell her again about an incident that happened when I was 10, 11 or 12, I don't know.
It is an unsolved mystery in our family and it bothers me so much that it haunts me.

Part of me doesn't know if I want to keep doing the time line because it's so scary. I am afraid of other things coming up that I don't want to know about now. At the same time, I know that there is so much being held up inside that I "need" to know about.

Has anyone else ever done a time line? How did it work out for you?

doing the time line with my therapist helped me a lot to put my life in order, gain closure on some of the traumatic events and it also helped me to gain self esteem and confidence in myself. our time line consisted of photos from my childhood and adult life, writings, drawings and other things from each part of me, it had everything about me the good and the bad on it. It is now a complete description or Diary of my life from birth to present day and its on going still even though I rarely see my therapist and its no longer something my therapist and I do. for me its a tangible reminder of my being me a creative and worthwhile person who has been through the fires and back.
some people do journals and diaries, I traded those things in for the more complete version of my life and times of Amanda - my time line. Sometimes during the harder times I pull out my time line and see where I have been and where I am now and all thats in between. It gives me hope and lifts me back up out of the depressiveness and darkness of the harder days. it shows me that I made it this far I can and will continue to survive as long as I continue to go on and not give in to the dark days.

[anderson]

W have done time lines and they are not easy. The hard part was the journey. But now that we are getting to other side we do have more control and shared time. We share so much that when we do have a black out it does not sit well with those within. In the begining of the work we felt so much the same way , still do at time. The hard part was giving ourselves permission to take it one day at a time. Know that we were doing the best we could with what we felt safe in dealing with.

[onlymedid]

Originally Posted by anderson

W have done time lines and they are not easy. The hard part was the journey. But now that we are getting to other side we do have more control and shared time. We share so much that when we do have a black out it does not sit well with those within. In the begining of the work we felt so much the same way , still do at time. The hard part was giving ourselves permission to take it one day at a time. Know that we were doing the best we could with what we felt safe in dealing with.

Thank you for sharing that Anderson. I thought the time line would be easier than it is. It's much harder. I am remembering things here and there that I had totally forgotten about. There are feelings that were not allowed before, that are starting to seep through and I really really don't like it.
Hopefully T can see when there is too much going on or I need a break because I can't always recognize it.

we are still doing a timeline and it isnt easy

[Nupoet64]

Onlymedid, I am still working on mine. I have jumbled dreams, memories and blank spots. I am fortunate to have one sister that I am very close to, she helps alot. She has a much better memory of our life than I do...as children. She cannot fill in the personal memories of mine, but she helps me place things in the time frame in which they occured. It helps alot. I also use the pictures and I focus on the feelings I ahve during a dream of an event, or a flash or a memory.
I also look at the details that grab my attention, like the outfit i was wearing , etc....that also helps. One in particular is a memory of me in an outfit that i wore to get my mom from a birthing center when one of my sister's was born. That helps me pinpoint the age and location.
I hope this helps. My journals are all messed up, lol, only Edgar Allen Poe could make sense of them, lol. It is not funny, but if i do not laugh, then I cry. I am tired and choose to laugh.
Wishing you much success with the timeline....safe hugs...