[crystalbleach]

I'm sorry but I didn't know where else to put this and it is kinda urgent seen as I don't know who I will be next.

There is 3 of us. Lexis the protector but she is the mean one. She tells us we are pathetic, weak and worth nothing. She tells us to do bad things. She has been with us since we were 9.

Then there is Nikki (me). She is just the pathetic, problem maker who is vulnerable and doesn't know what's going on. She is the one that gives up and it worthless.

Then there's the little one who has been coming through alot more lately. She is scared and innocent, she is harmless and only wants to be safe and loved. She doesn't like the other 2 fighting.

We don't know what to do. Lexis keeps trying to take over and I try and fight but i'm too weak and have had enough. I am just scared, me no what to do. Want them to stop this. All these strong feelings are over powering.

I keep forgetting. Argh I don't know how to stop this. All I know is that we can't let Lexis take over because she allows us to do very bad things. We have already threw up today and she makes us want to self harm.

We are sorry. Just want help, even though Lexis says we don't deserve it.

[Gus1234U]

ooh {{{{{{{Crystal~!}}}}}}}}}} all of you's~~~ compassion is the great healer, just accept that this is how it is right now, tomorrow, or in an hour, it will be different,,, that is true for all of us. Since Nikki is in the fore right now, be that compassionate one, *HUGS* for Lexus and baby girl...
please look into the Littles Chats and the DID support groups~! until then,, let us know what's happening when you see us in chat. the group you were in this morning is a very safe place. Hang in there,,, Gus

[crystalbleach]

Thank you Gus, I appreciate it. I'm not too sure of what went on earlier but I seem to be relatively in control now. I've never been that out of control before and there is alot of gaps in my memory. My remember mum talking in the background in the car but I don't think I replied because I was too out of it.

Anyway as I said thanks.

Nikki. x

[pegasus]

You might find this forum helpful >>>> Dissociative Disorders

[crystalbleach]

Head getting so sore, I can begin to feel it all starting again. Lexis trying to come through and all the negative and pathetic feelings breaking through.

We don't have the energy to fight.

[crystalbleach]

Keep dissociating, don't really know what's happening, everything just goes blank. So empty.

I really need some help/advise.