I was just wondering about what other people have experienced with this topic. Themselves or others. I'll write more in a bit. Thanks.

[barleysmile]

My mother had multiple personality disorder. Most people thought she was a gentle, Christian, prayerful lady. But she was decidedly not kind to me. People in the church we belonged to brought their concerns to my father. She was very good at lying. It was very hard to not believe her. Now I realize it was a switch she made. She 'disassociated' herself from the person who treated me the way she did. Because it was specific to me most people didn't see it or believe it when I reached for help. It was when she was GA director at our church that it became apparent to others that she was emotionally abusive to me and favored my twin sister. It was so bad one prominent couple in the church offered to take me in at 16 yrs old. I told them no because the emotionally abused tend to blame themselves and I was no different. She disguised herself so well, when she died they said of her that she was a prayer warrior for God! However, noone questioned me when I refused to attend the funeral. I would have liked to see her try her lies out in heaven. If God is truth I don't see her going anywhere near Him.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by LabLover23

I was just wondering about what other people have experienced with this topic. Themselves or others. I'll write more in a bit. Thanks.

I remember a while back you posted about whether you had DID because you had an alter ego that comes out when you have been drinking and has recently been asserting power or something like that on and off when you are sober. I did some checking with a therapist around here that works with AA. he told me its not unusual for people who drink to have after affects where they feel like someone else is trying to control them. for the people he works with this is a symptom of their having alcohol related black outs, and the residual affect of the memory of what happens during black outs coming back to them as if its happening, sort of like a flashback or hallucination, but because of what alcohol related damage to the person physically and mentally they sometimes feel this affect is like having spit personality or alter ego, he did or does this not me stuff.

my suggestion like before is contact your treatment people - doctors, psychiatrists, therapists and AA. they can help you get the right diagnostic evaluations to find out if what is happening to you is alcohol related or if its BPD, DID or any other personality disorder you may feel you have.

do I live in peace with multiple personalities. when I wasnt integrated no. having DID is like having 2,3,4,5 different people in the same house with only one bathroom, one kitchen, one bedroom, one living room. everyone wants to their own things. sam wants to go swimming petey wants to play baseball, snookie wants to sleep, janice wants a long relaxing bath, mike wants a shower not a bath....

then theres also those you dont know are there and are not co conscious with, you are online one second the next you are on a gray hound bus bound for who the H!!! knows where, you are paying the rent and the next second you are in a restraunt eating a meal and having pay for it out of your rent money. you start out heading to the family reunion and end up standing in some bar bent over a pool table aiming the cue stick at the white ball.

it sometimes takes years to get diagnosed with DID then it takes years of therapy working on grounding skills, trauma work, work on things that come along with having DID like PTSD symptoms of anxiety, panic attacks, flashbacks nightmares, theres alot involved with DID then just having alters so it takes years and years to learn how to live in peace with the alternate personalities by working on things like triggers, communication, co consciousness, integration which some people choose and others it just happens.

my advice dont worry about how to live in peace with multiple personalities. this may not be what your problem is. the first step is talking with your doctors and treatment people, then go through diagnostic tests then your doctors and treatment people will help you come up with the right treatment plans and how to do things in the way that is right for you and what your problems are.

[Elysium]

I have DID....diagnosed last year, but been in therapy for six years.

Living in peace.....umm.....yeah....it happens. Usually when the external stressors, such as work, school, bills, etc., are going well and everything is going smoothly, my internal system is able to find a nice wave length to float upon.

Right now....things are not nice. My system is in turmoil and several of my parts feel like they don't want to do this "life" thing anymore so it's a bit challenging.

Being that my diagnosis is so new....and I have this way of sabotaging myself, it seems like that every time things start to mellow, somehow I find a way to create waves and land myself in a bit of trouble, thus preventing myself from being able to get to the trauma stuff. The good thing is, only recently have I been able to see this and identify it as mal-adaptive. Now that I can actually see it and identify it, it will hopefully become easier to stop myself from sabotaging me.

So, I guess my point is that peace is in the eye of the beholder. There is peace when things are good outside....and when they're bad outside, there's turmoil....but we've been in turmoil for so long it seems normal and believe it or not there is an odd peace found in the abnormal normalcy of chaos. Like an old friend that you know is no good for you, but who always finds a way to make you laugh and feel better about yourself.

I apologize if this didn't make much sense.

[Okami]

I am not diagnosed, nor do I follow the standard case description, but I am within a system in this body. We live pretty damn peacefully, actually. We also interact with each other as a large group when we are not using the body.

Over the years, people have come and go and the groups have changed and altered, but the main one who have stuck it through since the beginning are practically constant. So we tend to monitor the place and sift out who can stay and who can't. We also each have our own past lives and individual problems that we sort through and help one another with. Hell, some of us even don't get along, so. Its not always perfect.

But I think we are certainly lucky to be able to thrive as well as we do even though our issue seems to be a bit more spiritual. The host body was never abused when younger in any way. So, we are pretty sure this is not your typical case. It is more like multiplicity. But, to some degree I think finding peace and getting along well is sort of a similar process.

Interested in hearing how it is for you.

[beadlady29]

hi lablover23.
beened dx with DID far like over 3 years now - thats kinda guessign since catn really remeber far sure how many .
for us, we most defnitely do NOT live in peace.
beened doign the 1-2 x a week therapy thign far going on 7 years now. (this time). its the lognest ever sticked w/ it. adn just took the sanity score this nite it was 185.
we WANT nuthin more then to live in peace & be loved, but seem like that is mabe not to meant be.
lookingfarainbows

[anderson]

We are at peace when we are dealing with the memiors of past abuse and the bigotry of those around us. but we live from day to day because so much has happened to us both in the past iand in the present. We are now calming down from an alter sharing her information with the whole. Life is not always beutifuly but it can be a wonderfull ride at times when you can leave the pain alone and see the good in the present.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

I'm really interested in this topic

Wow, that is so amazing that you lived through all that and are healed and living a happy life? Or atleast at the moment, (your mood says breezy) =) Thanks for sharing.

Originally Posted by barleysmile

My mother had multiple personality disorder. Most people thought she was a gentle, Christian, prayerful lady. But she was decidedly not kind to me. People in the church we belonged to brought their concerns to my father. She was very good at lying. It was very hard to not believe her. Now I realize it was a switch she made. She 'disassociated' herself from the person who treated me the way she did. Because it was specific to me most people didn't see it or believe it when I reached for help. It was when she was GA director at our church that it became apparent to others that she was emotionally abusive to me and favored my twin sister. It was so bad one prominent couple in the church offered to take me in at 16 yrs old. I told them no because the emotionally abused tend to blame themselves and I was no different. She disguised herself so well, when she died they said of her that she was a prayer warrior for God! However, noone questioned me when I refused to attend the funeral. I would have liked to see her try her lies out in heaven. If God is truth I don't see her going anywhere near Him.

Thank you so much for sharing. I think I mainly have my own identity. I think just like fairies whispering ideas or pulling me directions at time, but I can usually combat these urges. But it seems that my other self directs me to drink so that she can have more control. She doesn't need alchol or other inhibitors or stimulants, but it helps. You should see me when I'm drinking energy drinks. =) I think my om also shares a possible DID. She says things to me and then claims she doesn't remember, or that she didn't say it. She thinks she's the best mom, and she can be real great. But she can also be off putting and detrimental and stifling too.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I remember a while back you posted about whether you had DID because you had an alter ego that comes out when you have been drinking and has recently been asserting power or something like that on and off when you are sober. I did some checking with a therapist around here that works with AA. he told me its not unusual for people who drink to have after affects where they feel like someone else is trying to control them. for the people he works with this is a symptom of their having alcohol related black outs, and the residual affect of the memory of what happens during black outs coming back to them as if its happening, sort of like a flashback or hallucination, but because of what alcohol related damage to the person physically and mentally they sometimes feel this affect is like having spit personality or alter ego, he did or does this not me stuff.

my suggestion like before is contact your treatment people - doctors, psychiatrists, therapists and AA. they can help you get the right diagnostic evaluations to find out if what is happening to you is alcohol related or if its BPD, DID or any other personality disorder you may feel you have.

do I live in peace with multiple personalities. when I wasnt integrated no. having DID is like having 2,3,4,5 different people in the same house with only one bathroom, one kitchen, one bedroom, one living room. everyone wants to their own things. sam wants to go swimming petey wants to play baseball, snookie wants to sleep, janice wants a long relaxing bath, mike wants a shower not a bath....

then theres also those you dont know are there and are not co conscious with, you are online one second the next you are on a gray hound bus bound for who the H!!! knows where, you are paying the rent and the next second you are in a restraunt eating a meal and having pay for it out of your rent money. you start out heading to the family reunion and end up standing in some bar bent over a pool table aiming the cue stick at the white ball.

it sometimes takes years to get diagnosed with DID then it takes years of therapy working on grounding skills, trauma work, work on things that come along with having DID like PTSD symptoms of anxiety, panic attacks, flashbacks nightmares, theres alot involved with DID then just having alters so it takes years and years to learn how to live in peace with the alternate personalities by working on things like triggers, communication, co consciousness, integration which some people choose and others it just happens.

my advice dont worry about how to live in peace with multiple personalities. this may not be what your problem is. the first step is talking with your doctors and treatment people, then go through diagnostic tests then your doctors and treatment people will help you come up with the right treatment plans and how to do things in the way that is right for you and what your problems are.

I don't think it will ever make 'sense.' I think what I tell myself is that I have' a funny side' or that I'm a bit eccentric. I try to encompass all of these qualities as just me. I don't think I've really acknowledge mycondition. Like my mom has raised me, I'm always 'ok' and she's always, "just fine" lol.
Life should be taken one day at a time. Less stress overall, and more freedom to explore and find happiness. thanks for sharing. =)

Originally Posted by Elysium

I have DID....diagnosed last year, but been in therapy for six years.

Living in peace.....umm.....yeah....it happens. Usually when the external stressors, such as work, school, bills, etc., are going well and everything is going smoothly, my internal system is able to find a nice wave length to float upon.

Right now....things are not nice. My system is in turmoil and several of my parts feel like they don't want to do this "life" thing anymore so it's a bit challenging.

Being that my diagnosis is so new....and I have this way of sabotaging myself, it seems like that every time things start to mellow, somehow I find a way to create waves and land myself in a bit of trouble, thus preventing myself from being able to get to the trauma stuff. The good thing is, only recently have I been able to see this and identify it as mal-adaptive. Now that I can actually see it and identify it, it will hopefully become easier to stop myself from sabotaging me.

So, I guess my point is that peace is in the eye of the beholder. There is peace when things are good outside....and when they're bad outside, there's turmoil....but we've been in turmoil for so long it seems normal and believe it or not there is an odd peace found in the abnormal normalcy of chaos. Like an old friend that you know is no good for you, but who always finds a way to make you laugh and feel better about yourself.

I apologize if this didn't make much sense.

Well, how ever you want to describe yourself, life is great. I hope you enjoy all that you love and like to do, as it is in your capacity to do so. You are still human, you are still deserving of love and a happy life. Focus on what you want out of life and things shouldgo more smoothly, every part of you working towards a common goal(s). Thanks for that, it makes me think of how I still communicate with those past, mainly friends whom I felt I dreampt up and couldn't believe I had, like everything was fated or maybe I was delusional, but I still feel like they are still with me in spirit even now. Even after the end of friendship, whether time or space or meltdown, I still feel a kin with them and it tears me up inside.

Originally Posted by Okami

I am not diagnosed, nor do I follow the standard case description, but I am within a system in this body. We live pretty damn peacefully, actually. We also interact with each other as a large group when we are not using the body.

Over the years, people have come and go and the groups have changed and altered, but the main one who have stuck it through since the beginning are practically constant. So we tend to monitor the place and sift out who can stay and who can't. We also each have our own past lives and individual problems that we sort through and help one another with. Hell, some of us even don't get along, so. Its not always perfect.

But I think we are certainly lucky to be able to thrive as well as we do even though our issue seems to be a bit more spiritual. The host body was never abused when younger in any way. So, we are pretty sure this is not your typical case. It is more like multiplicity. But, to some degree I think finding peace and getting along well is sort of a similar process.

Interested in hearing how it is for you.

Hey, thanks for commenting, I think it can be hard when you're dealing with so many divided parts of yourself, but I guess like I said to Okami, you will find happiness if you all work for a common good. =)

Originally Posted by lookingfarainbows

hi lablover23.
beened dx with DID far like over 3 years now - thats kinda guessign since catn really remeber far sure how many .
for us, we most defnitely do NOT live in peace.
beened doign the 1-2 x a week therapy thign far going on 7 years now. (this time). its the lognest ever sticked w/ it. adn just took the sanity score this nite it was 185.
we WANT nuthin more then to live in peace & be loved, but seem like that is mabe not to meant be.
lookingfarainbows

[Nupoet64]

Lab, my father dissociates into a Monster ( dissociative rage). His eyes cahnge. I still terrifies me and has caused so much abuse that I have a dissociative issue now. He is not my bio dad, but married my mom before I was born.
My mom tried to starve me in infancy ( body memory) and threw me into a lake to safe herself or make dad mad (details not completely clear yet) and she or dad attacked me and almost killed me as a toddler ( working on this one now).
They both used drugs and alcohol and seemed more concerned about themselves thatn the little "burden" they were raising.
All my grandparents were alcoholics.
My bio dad found me when I was 14, was in my life for 2 yrs then dissappeared until after my mother passed away. He found me then adn had 2 sisters ( grown) with him when he arrived, unannounced, to my home. He was in my life for about three months then gone again. He was an alcoholic too.
My sibblings did not call me when bio dad passed. I was googling to get a current number and try to call him again. I found his Obit, almost a year after he ahd passed.
All of this caused a "splintering" of my personalitiy. I know of four. One has been banned. She no longer resides here. I am more accepting adn aware of Jeanie now. She is the one that never speaks. She holds the memories. We are working on the time we were taken to my grandfather ( Dr) bloody and near death. I have body memories of this and a feeling that the "impact" caused a "shatter" and an "explosion". It is still a puzzle...was it glass? or me?
I comfort my little ones when they cry. There is an infant and a small girl.
I ahve black out adn memory lapse. Much of my life is blank. I am learnign to see how things fit together adn learning to integrate.
I do not know if this helps any at all, but it is my story.