[Broken_Wing]

Can someone who has DID explain what the term "drifting" might mean?

The last couple of times I've spoken to my friend on the phone, he will begin talking very low, with long pauses in between talking. When I ask him if he is tired, he says no, but his body is "drifting." I've asked him what he means by this but he's never been able to explain it...esp since the times I've asked he is "drifting."

To me he sounds like he is falling asleep, but I wonder if he might be "drifting" into his alter.

I will ask him about it further when he is more lucid, but I was wondering in the meantime if anyone else knows what this means or can explain to me how it feels.

its a floaty, slow motion type feeling. Kind of like the feeling you get from taking some antihistamines like benedryl. another way Ive explained it to a friend ride an elevator when you go up or down and the elevator has just stopped - you know that feeling where your body still feels like it is moving for a second even though the elevator is still. The same when riding an escalator that feeling during that split second that you stepped off the escalator and you still feel like you are moving. During all this you know logically you are not moving but mentally you're floating , or as your fried calls it drifting. Its this feeling that DID's get before or after they dissociate or as some people call it switching personalities. I call it being in my tunnel. Every time my therapist asked what it was like to switch personalities I could not tell her either. Up until then I never paid attention to how and why I dissociate. It took months of paying attention to how I feel when and what I was doing at the moment I started feeling this way in order to explain it to her.

[sykee65]

Hi,

I now only "drift" during severe anxiety episodes, but I know what it feels like and it can be comforting if you are in a "safe place" and scary if your driving on the road. To me,It feels like I am floating with little control over my actions. I think it's kinda hard to remember things when you drift for me anyway because I started drifting at a very early age and I can remember floating above my body when I was being abused and watching it from above. I try not to let myself drift because it scares me. However I can feel a drift coming on becuase my eyes become fixated on an object and I start to stare before drifting.

I hope this helps.

[Broken_Wing]

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myself said:
its a floaty, slow motion type feeling. Kind of like the feeling you get from taking some antihistamines like benedryl. another way Ive explained it to a friend ride an elevator when you go up or down and the elevator has just stopped - you know that feeling where your body still feels like it is moving for a second even though the elevator is still. The same when riding an escalator that feeling during that split second that you stepped off the escalator and you still feel like you are moving. During all this you know logically you are not moving but mentally you're floating , or as your fried calls it drifting. Its this feeling that DID's get before or after they dissociate or as some people call it switching personalities. I call it being in my tunnel. Every time my therapist asked what it was like to switch personalities I could not tell her either. Up until then I never paid attention to how and why I dissociate. It took months of paying attention to how I feel when and what I was doing at the moment I started feeling this way in order to explain it to her.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thanks for the great description! I wasn't sure whether he was referring to drifting off to sleep. I sort of had a feeling he might be making the transistion to an alter.

I don't get the impression he wants me to stay though, when I say I will let him go he always thanks me. Perhaps there are alters that he hasn't shared with me yet.

[Broken_Wing]

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sykee65 said:
Hi,

I now only "drift" during severe anxiety episodes, but I know what it feels like and it can be comforting if you are in a "safe place" and scary if your driving on the road. To me,It feels like I am floating with little control over my actions. I think it's kinda hard to remember things when you drift for me anyway because I started drifting at a very early age and I can remember floating above my body when I was being abused and watching it from above. I try not to let myself drift because it scares me. However I can feel a drift coming on becuase my eyes become fixated on an object and I start to stare before drifting.

I hope this helps.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Your explanation has been very helpful, thank you so much.
It would probably be more obvious to me if I was with him in person, but when you're on the phone it's harder to grasp what is happening. I have a better understanding now as to what he may be experiencing.

[allthegirls6]

I feel like im going to faint, I get heavy, things get a bit out of focus, my awareness gets out of focus and I get as heavy as lead.

Its like im there but only partly, like my body is on the way out to somewhere else and Ive got no control over it.

Its scary and feels hard to control but slowly im getting there and spotting the signs and trying to take care of myself and make sure I dont get too unwell.

All the girls

[Broken_Wing]

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allthegirls5 said:
I feel like im going to faint, I get heavy, things get a bit out of focus, my awareness gets out of focus and I get as heavy as lead.

Its like im there but only partly, like my body is on the way out to somewhere else and Ive got no control over it.

Its scary and feels hard to control but slowly im getting there and spotting the signs and trying to take care of myself and make sure I dont get too unwell.

All the girls

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

This question is for you and anyone else who would like to answer.

When you are in this state, what would you prefer we do? Be quiet? Talk? Leave you alone?

Is there anything someone could do to help you through the "drifting'?

yea it sure can be scarey at times - I've landed in the creek that runs along my citys bike path a few times because of this.

But I also know that not allowing myself to have times when I can let my guard down and float would be unrealistic after doing so almost 24 hours a day for over 40 years. So I do let my guard down at night as a sleep aid tool, that way I am training my brain to use my dissociation skills as a relaxation tool instead of as an escape during the day from my problems and emotions. Course that means that I have a field day drawing, writing, eating, cleaning, rearranging cupboards and furniture and so on while in various memory states that have been put on hold so to speak every time I got triggered during the day. Just love waking up to the laundry and dishes done and lets not forget the free pedicure (peanut butter and jelly sandwhich I stepped on one morning waking up). but its a small price to pay for full awareness during the day. and I can say thanks to the would be hair dresser. I haven't had a midnight hair DONT in a while.

yea it sure can be scarey at times - I've landed in the creek that runs along my citys bike path a few times because of this.

But I also know that not allowing myself to have times when I can let my guard down and float would be unrealistic after doing so almost 24 hours a day for over 40 years. So I do let my guard down at night as a sleep aid tool, that way I am training my brain to use my dissociation skills as a relaxation tool instead of as an escape during the day from my problems and emotions. Course that means that I have a field day drawing, writing, eating, cleaning, rearranging cupboards and furniture and so on while in various memory states that have been put on hold so to speak every time I got triggered during the day. Just love waking up to the laundry and dishes done and lets not forget the free pedicure (peanut butter and jelly sandwhich I stepped on one morning waking up). but its a small price to pay for full awareness during the day. and I can say thanks to the would be hair dresser. I haven't had a midnight hair DONT in a while.

my best friend says she can also tell my switches by my lack of words, then change of tone and vocabulary. Part of the reason this happens is because when I am floating hard for me to think of words to answer questions. Its kind of like filling out some formal paper wok. you know your phone number but suddenly for the life of you the numbers just arent there in your mind. or like the saying goes "it's on the tip of my tongue but I can't remember the actors name". I can hear the questions I just cant focus enough to say the answer and in some cases think of the answer. or there are too many answers coming at me at once so it comes out one worded or not at all. Ive also been known to try and string a bunch of one words together and hope they go together to get my point across, doesn't work.

For me the way through or out of the tunnel (drifting) is that I find something to focus on. for instance I learned how to pull out of the tunnel by focusing on my past therapist voice. the hard part was finding her voice in all the voices I was hearing. She helped alot. during therapy she would at times do or say something so off the wall from what was going on that you couldn't miss her in all the jumble. I also used her office voice mail by calling every night before I went to bed just to hear her voice before I went to bed as part of my relaxation routine before sleeping. Soon I was using her voicemail recording to help me to pull myself out of panics and my tunnel after a nightmare. When I started training myself to relax to the point of what I call level one - totally relaxed but not entering my la la land so I wasn't afraid to remember what happened to me (basically self hypnosis) I used my therapist voice as my focus point so that if and when we used it during therapy I could focus on her voice no matter what I was experiencing.

Another thing that helps me when I am in my tunnel is that I start feeling things. Rubbing my fingers over my various designs on my sneakers because they are different textures. pushing hard against the chair I am sitting on so that I can feel the wood, taking a drink of ice cold water and so on. anything that will get my five sense back to feeling and experiencing the present. so I guess to answer your question if at some point I was drifting here and was unable to pull myself out to stand up, walk around, to get that drink and so on it could be helpful to get ideas form here on what to do or focus points that will get me feeling again.

Thank you for caring and asking that means alot to me that you did this.

[Broken_Wing]

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myself said:
yea it sure can be scarey at times - I've landed in the creek that runs along my citys bike path a few times because of this.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That would be terrifying, I'm glad you are ok.

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But I also know that not allowing myself to have times when I can let my guard down and float would be unrealistic after doing so almost 24 hours a day for over 40 years. So I do let my guard down at night as a sleep aid tool, that way I am training my brain to use my dissociation skills as a relaxation tool instead of as an escape during the day from my problems and emotions. Course that means that I have a field day drawing, writing, eating, cleaning, rearranging cupboards and furniture and so on while in various memory states that have been put on hold so to speak every time I got triggered during the day. Just love waking up to the laundry and dishes done and lets not forget the free pedicure (peanut butter and jelly sandwhich I stepped on one morning waking up). but its a small price to pay for full awareness during the day. and I can say thanks to the would be hair dresser. I haven't had a midnight hair DONT in a while.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

It sounds like you have made a positive out of "floating" or "drifting"...good for you. I spoke for a long time to my friend earlier, and he told me he was beginning to "drift." I asked him if it was pleasant and he said it was sometimes, but it is like he's losing awareness...so that sounds similar to some of what you described. I don't want to barrage him with questions all at once, so I will ask some a little at a time.

The peanut butter and jelly pedicure made me laugh!

[Broken_Wing]

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myself said:
my best friend says she can also tell my switches by my lack of words, then change of tone and vocabulary.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yes, this is exactly what happens to my friend. He seems to struggle for words almost, and there are long pauses if I ask a question or ask him if he's ok.

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Part of the reason this happens is because when I am floating hard for me to think of words to answer questions. Its kind of like filling out some formal paper wok. you know your phone number but suddenly for the life of you the numbers just arent there in your mind. or like the saying goes "it's on the tip of my tongue but I can't remember the actors name". I can hear the questions I just cant focus enough to say the answer and in some cases think of the answer. or there are too many answers coming at me at once so it comes out one worded or not at all. Ive also been known to try and string a bunch of one words together and hope they go together to get my point across, doesn't work.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thank you SO much for that very descriptive explanation. I know exactly what you mean and it will definitely help me when I am talking with my friend and wondering why he isn't responding quickly!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
For me the way through or out of the tunnel (drifting) is that I find something to focus on. for instance I learned how to pull out of the tunnel by focusing on my past therapist voice. the hard part was finding her voice in all the voices I was hearing. She helped alot. during therapy she would at times do or say something so off the wall from what was going on that you couldn't miss her in all the jumble. I also used her office voice mail by calling every night before I went to bed just to hear her voice before I went to bed as part of my relaxation routine before sleeping. Soon I was using her voicemail recording to help me to pull myself out of panics and my tunnel after a nightmare. When I started training myself to relax to the point of what I call level one - totally relaxed but not entering my la la land so I wasn't afraid to remember what happened to me (basically self hypnosis) I used my therapist voice as my focus point so that if and when we used it during therapy I could focus on her voice no matter what I was experiencing.

Another thing that helps me when I am in my tunnel is that I start feeling things. Rubbing my fingers over my various designs on my sneakers because they are different textures. pushing hard against the chair I am sitting on so that I can feel the wood, taking a drink of ice cold water and so on. anything that will get my five sense back to feeling and experiencing the present. so I guess to answer your question if at some point I was drifting here and was unable to pull myself out to stand up, walk around, to get that drink and so on it could be helpful to get ideas form here on what to do or focus points that will get me feeling again.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Well, I know my friend walks and paces a lot, perhaps that is his way of focusing and becoming present.

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Thank you for caring and asking that means alot to me that you did this.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

You are welcome, and thank you for caring to answer my question. Your posts have really helped me a lot in understanding what my friend is going through!!!

Thank you, yes wet but not a scratch.

yes asking a little at a time is a great way to do it.

glad you liked the pedicure, tomato soup works wonders too.

Yes as you can tell I use alot of huimor and turning the down side into the upside. The program I am on is a 24/7 program of journaling, artwork, crafts, projects, workbooks, relaxation techniques, what I call awareness therapy, my therapist called it grounding -being aware at all times what things look like feel like, taste like, smell like, sounds like, like right now I am sitting here typing and at the same time paying attention to how the chair I am sitting on feels like, actively hearing anf following my cats snoring and the click of my typing, how the light from the hall way is shining on the screen making a type of rainbow and drinking a glass of strawberry kiwi juice that tastes slightly sour not as much as a lemon and with my foot I am rubbing tmy cats back he feels so soft, hes a manx (tail less) , angora long haired cat.. anyway with doing all this various forms of therapy with out humor and turning down to up could be over whelming. so my therapist who helped me put together this program and I made a point to find the humor in DID. My friend too. When she took ne to the doctors after I got hit by a car biking I had to have exrays done. I went in and had them done on my knee. coming out to the waiting room near the ex ray department where she was she said joking-done already? I didn't hear any screaming. I looked at her and said I don't scream I dissociate. knowing full well since getting hit I had been losing time left and right and she was on the recieving end of my dissociating. She laughed realizing I was aware at the moment and said well at least it wasn't margo. Apparently when I am in the margo memory state I am rude mouthy and everything in between, and my friend had quite an experience with margo to the point where she contacted my therapist. I could for instance curl up and cry everytime something like stepping on a sandwich happened but when they crying and not dealing was done theres still that peanutbutter and jelly sandwich stuck to my foot so I figure why not enjoy being able to feel and know its there when four years ago I couldnt.

by the way you are a terrific person. so many people who find out their friends have DID find ways to drop that friend ship. it takes someone special to see that the person is still human and take the time to try to understand and help that person.

[allthegirls6]

When Im switching I like to talk but everyone is different. My therapist holds my hand and tells me she will wait on me until who ever is ready to talk.

Its such a difficulty process all round and not easliy got over. I come out the other end exhausted.

All the girls

[Broken_Wing]

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myself said:
Thank you, yes wet but not a scratch.

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Good to know that you didn't hurt yourself!

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yes asking a little at a time is a great way to do it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That's what I am doing, I asked if it felt like being unable to focus and he said, sometimes that and sometimes it is a matter of focusing on something else. He also said tonight that he was afraid that he would fall asleep while talking to me...lol. I won't take it personally...he always says he doesn't want to leave, but his body is making him. I understand that.

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awareness therapy, my therapist called it grounding -being aware at all times what things look like feel like, taste like, smell like, sounds like, like right now I am sitting here typing and at the same time paying attention to how the chair I am sitting on feels like, actively hearing anf following my cats snoring and the click of my typing, how the light from the hall way is shining on the screen making a type of rainbow and drinking a glass of strawberry kiwi juice that tastes slightly sour not as much as a lemon and with my foot I am rubbing tmy cats back he feels so soft, hes a manx (tail less) , angora long haired cat..

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Now I know you are a kindred spirit! I love cats, I have one myself...a Himalayan and she just happens to be sitting beside me right now as I type, I often reach over and pet her while here. I am listening to her softly snoring...lol.

What you said about being aware is exactly what we all need to do, be present in the moment. Too many people move through life unconciously...sleepwalking, in a sense...so you are doing well to practice being aware of sounds, tastes, smells and touch.

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anyway with doing all this various forms of therapy with out humor and turning down to up could be over whelming. so my therapist who helped me put together this program and I made a point to find the humor in DID.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Humor is important in my life as well, I don't know what I would do if I couldn't laugh.

[Broken_Wing]

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myself said:
by the way you are a terrific person. so many people who find out their friends have DID find ways to drop that friend ship. it takes someone special to see that the person is still human and take the time to try to understand and help that person.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thanks for the compliment, you are a terrific person too...I have enjoyed reading your answers and they have helped me so much!

We are all human, and each of us have different things that we struggle with. I don't make a distinction between illness, whether it be physical or mental. I don't think anyone is immune or perfect. I think when people turn away from someone with DID or any other illness, it's out of fear. It's sad really, because I have found so much joy from knowing my friend, he is so special. I can't imagine having missed the opportunity to know him. It has been a gift, and I am very grateful for it.

[Broken_Wing]

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allthegirls5 said:
When Im switching I like to talk but everyone is different. My therapist holds my hand and tells me she will wait on me until who ever is ready to talk.

Its such a difficulty process all round and not easliy got over. I come out the other end exhausted.

All the girls

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Yes, everyone is different and what may work for you may not work for my friend. I will follow his lead and be sensitive to how he would like me to react. I asked him earlier if he wanted me to stay with him while he drifted, and he said that he didn't think we should stay on the phone in case he fell asleep. Of course, if we were together in person...he might want it differently. He is very sensitive to my needs as well, and I appreciate it.

Thank you so much, allthegirls! Every response I receive helps me to further understand my friend, and that means a lot to me.