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#1
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Hello friends!
![]() The thing is I do from time to time block people out, particularly when someone is talking to me or when I am trying to concentrate in an important meeting I will block out what is being said. This is dissociation in that I can't hear what anyone is saying. Now, this used to happened particularly when someone was saying something nice to me so I never got to hear what nice things people said to me! Anyhow, it is disconcerting. In a meeting today someone was saying something important and I didn't hear it so I had to ask them to repeat what they said twice! And I still didn't get it! ![]() Also in the meeting today a chap was going on about important fire regulations, I tried to concentrate and then he appeared to say something really odd and out of context. The sentence didn't belong in his paragraph. I do cope with all this (trying to do grounding etc) but would really like to be able to hear what people are actually saying to me whether it is nice or not! ![]()
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![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
![]() calmgrace, darkpurplesecrets, Gr3tta, Nupoet64
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#2
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this will sound stupid but.....that happens to me sometimes too....and i ask my core or worker to come out....usually it works...im not sure why it seems too simple anyways just figured id respond.......kasva
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![]() calmgrace, justdontknow, pegasus
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#3
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(((((Pegasus)))))
Sometimes, yes, this happens. I have a bit of an interpreter within who can decipher things but when I am tired or triggered or perhaps distracted elsewhere I have noticed that the sentence they are speaking is coming to a close and I haven't heard much of what the speaker was speaking about. I haven't noticed a trend toward it being when theya are saying something nice, like when you do Pegaus. That is pretty profound that you notice it happening around compliments though. I wonder if it is a child part that comes forward and just doesn't want to be bored by meetings or misled by an adult to be swayed this way or that or misunderstands the conversation or is talking about fire and the possibility of a trauma situation. Sort of like hyper-vigilance. Keeping safe is so important and sometimes a certain person may look like someone, or sound like someone or smell like somone or I am being treated in a certain way and I have to establish safety for the small insiders and let the adult/mature part address the current issues. Mostly, lately in grown-up situations I am trying with all my heart to let the small insiders just live calmly, safely away from the grown up world and let the mature parts take over. Mostly it is working and someone is listening and can interpret. Anyways, these are just some ramblings that may or may not be helpful. ![]()
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![]() “Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein |
![]() anderson, justdontknow, pegasus
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#4
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Pegasus,
This happens to me too. The only place that I dare ask the person to repeat is with my counselor. He understands me and knows that this happens. One time he repeated something 6 times before I actually heard it. I find that I say things over and over too, kind of like a long stutter. But again the only place I notice is in my counselor's office. I don't know if others just don't want to say anything because they are freaked out by it, or if I really only do it during sessions. When it happens outside of my counselor's office (things being said and me not hearing or comprehending them), I usually do not know what to say and then the person gets angry with me for my silence. When you find out what to do or have a better strategy, please share it with me because I am socially awkward as it is anyway without adding this ontop. With this I am viewed as a freak and most people don't talk to me anyway. I know this didn't help any, but I just had to get it out. Cris from the Hotel |
![]() anderson, carinacan, pegasus
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#5
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Quote:
![]() I don't think this is happening out of boredom as it tends to happen during a crucial part of a sentence and often when someone is directly speaking to me. I do think it is a protective part of me that comes out and decides that I don't need to hear what ever is being said. It could be a safety mechanism to protect me but I no longer need this to happen as an adult! I did work on this in therapy years ago where T bombarded me with compliments, eventually I did get to hear most of what he was saying but I did want to hit him!! I guess for now I am just going to keep asking people to repeat what they say to me even though they may be right next to me.
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![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
#6
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((((((Pesasus))))))..I am sorry, I was not in a place to respond,yesterday. I feel much the same at times. It is like the Peanuts TV shows when a parent enters the sceen...."whawhawhawha..." Sorry you struggle with this too.
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![]() pegasus
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#7
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![]() Quote:
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Be Blessed -- Grace |
#8
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i do this alot to.......but i don't know what to do about it.....i guess just keep working on it.
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#9
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warning: alluding to sa
Pegasus, lol about the wanting to hit him. I know you had great ![]() Re: the boredom answer and your response....You've never sat in a former business meeting, lol On further thought, I'm wondering if your groomer gave you a compliment before abusing you.... it occurred to me there were a couple of friends of my parents, yech...don't want to go there. You must be doing a good job if you're receiving these compliments, well done! Of course I'm making a bit lite of it right now and I know you will never betray your old therapist but you may need to take off another onion layer, dear Peg, not now, but sometime. ![]() ![]()
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![]() “Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein |
#10
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Quote:
Thanks ![]()
__________________
![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
![]() anderson
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#11
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This is true for me, too. I'm glad to see I'm not alone.
I find if someone is long winded I tend to drift. If someone says something that takes me back to abuse, I can "totally disappear" If someone is attacking me, I can go "numb and tingly" if it threatens me enough. I almost always have trouble verbalizing it later. Blocking it out. I will ask people to repeat things if I trust them, "do you mind repeating that"? Sometimes I say (if it's true): I was so taken by what you said, do you mind saying it again. Grounding skills help, but not always. I trust spouse and pdoc enough to say, "will you say that again, I floated away". Thanks for the thread.
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![]() notz |
![]() pegasus
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#12
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Yes, I'll definitely (at work) ask someone else I am more comfortable with after the meeting exactly what so-and-so said if I didn't get it even with a repeat request. If it's something like your fire stuff, I'll ask around if there are printed copies (of rules or whatever) to make sure I don't miss something important/official.
My worst time is when I'm "leaving" and there are several people saying goodbye on both sides; once I've said goodbye I space out and will come to and be surprised that people are still talking/saying goodbye and be mortified that I haven't been "there" and may have missed future plans or personal things that were said.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
![]() pegasus
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#13
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Just adding my name on the distinguished list here. Sometimes when people are talking to me, I'm looking at them and can see their mouths move but I don't hear any sound, other times its like they are speaking a different language because I have absolutely no comprehension of what they are saying - I simply dont understand them - words, context, subject, nudda! Sometimes I'll fob my way thru, depending on the situation. Sometimes I have to ask them to repeat it several times too. I even get it with the tv. I'll be sitting watching the idiot-box with hubby and he'll make a comment on, say, the news. I'll have no idea what he's on about, nor the person yackn at me out of the screen. I have what I think is a high level of co-con, but there is still just soooo much I don't get. This is one of those things!
Thanx for sharin. kp
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Such Is Life - Ned Kelly
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![]() pegasus, Ygrec23
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#14
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KP,
I know this too re the tv. Mostly, with the advent of more technology, I mute most everything I watch and read the subtitles (as poor quality as they are at times). It makes it so much more understandable. i don't have to respond to the announcers voice, the dramatic music or the crashing and loud stuff going on. Or, I'll keep the sound lower. Perhaps, years of hyper-vigiilence watching body language of people who say one thing and do another? Yep, I think so. Also, there are certain outer people who can interpret things for me, like close family members. When I watch a film or certain tv shows I don't understand they can tell me what is going on. This happens alot on the more aggressive to violent shows, especially the ones with all the special effects. I just cannot watch them sometimes at all. Maybe the little insiders get too worried. I could never watch the cartoons that beat people up while I was growing up. But not to take away from the theme of this thread, I do think that when there is a person talking to me that doesn't seem genuine, seems passive aggressive, precedes their comments with a compliment, my system does seem to go on high-alert and listening is one of the least important tasks at that moment. My body seems to be preparing for defense at that and life saving. Sheesh, even if it is only perceived as you have stated Pegasus. Fight, flight and hyper-vigilence! I wonder if the speaker can sense the fear at times, even that thought is present when I am in the midst of it. Lol, little do they know this is all happening internally. But, having said that, it seems if there is an adult alter at the forefront, which I try to prepare for iin the work environment, I am more apt to be listening, paying attention, focused, willing to collaborate, negotiate or take up the task or whatever is being said. It's usually when I'm rested and life generally is more calm or there is an illusion of calm within. Little ones are safe, protectors are reasoned with and distracted and adults are interacting with each other as one would expect. This thread has made me think that this may be how the controllers , perps, groomers go to us. They prefaced it with compliments and that destabilizes the system and they know it but needing to relate as adults is what we need to do. How ya doin' Peg?
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![]() “Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein Last edited by Hunny; Oct 16, 2010 at 09:18 AM. |
![]() anderson, pegasus
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#15
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I get easily overwhelmed too, especially if more than one person is talking at a time. I never have music playing, and I have the tv down as low as possible when hubby is watching (he has advanced industrial deafness so likes tv loud) and have subtitles too when its just me. I have too much 'head noise' to contend with to cope with other unnecessary additional auditory input. But as Pegasus put originally, its the 'necessary' additional auditory input that we have to listen to that gets missed or messed up. I wonder if it is an actual part of having DID?
Just off the track a little...as it seems that pdocs etc range between vague and black/white about DID symptomology, I wonder if those of us on her were to run a thread or blog where we could list symptoms that we can't attribute to another cause and see if we come up with some common denominators that we all might actually share, instead of us feeling so alone and isolated with our 'stuff'. I'm sure most of you reading this are like me and simply don't talk or discuss every day nuances that have been 'got used to' yet still impede on every day life to make it just that much harder, using the current subject as an example. Anyway, sorry to hijack thread, just a thought as I was rambling on... I'll go away now!! ![]() kp
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Such Is Life - Ned Kelly
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![]() DancingAlone, pegasus
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#16
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![]() Now, it could be you need to go back to therapy for a while, and work on this latest realization? Having DID often requires "going back" to therapy ... healing is a long process. Now that you are comfortable in the place you are, perhaps another aspect of yourself feels safe enough to emerge, and frankly just doesn't want to attend to the blah blah blah it hears at times? In meetings and seminars, use a tape/digital recorder so you can play it back. I would suggest tape though, as sometimes the energy of an alter/ego state can interfere with digital communications. ![]() Find different ways of asking them to repeat, if you haven't already. "Did I hear you say...?" "Wait, really? Say that again!" ![]()
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![]() anderson, krazy_phoenix, pegasus
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#17
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Pegasus,
No matter what you choose to do, know that you are supported. ![]() Symptoms not attributable to another cause, cool, KP, good idea. Maybe head it, for the curious? We have these travelling hearing testers in our location, usually Saturdays at a shopping centre and it just takes a couple of minutes, no fuss, no mess. The other thing is for people to make sure they have our attention to begin with. Some people just assume they have permission to interrupt thoughts (non diders must have thoughts), or when we are doing things. ![]()
__________________
![]() “Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein |
![]() pegasus
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#18
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Thanks everyone so much for the input!
![]() It's just so disconcerting when one of the lil pegs decides to insert, "Eeyore went down to the river with Pooh," in the middle of someone elses sentence, sounds funny but I need to hear what the real sentence was! You know, I was going to buy one of those dictophone thingy's for meetings, infact someone else at work had suggested it. (Maybe they knew I'd need it, who knows!) But I will definitely go get one now. It won't look out of place in meetings and conferences, infact we'll look mighty professional! lol
__________________
![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
![]() (JD)
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#19
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Quote:
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#20
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oh dear, another piece to the puzzle...have always tuned people out, and not out of boredom, just honestly don't hear what they are saying, but just thought it "was me". and i say "what?" a LOT. it's like my brain catches glimpses, if you will, of people saying something to me, but *i* am just not there to hear it
![]() and have literally quit watching movies and reading books (except at my wednesday night client's to have something to do but it takes hours to just read about 40 pages!) because i catch myself just staring at the screen/book and not knowing what i had just watched/read. ![]() ![]() but thank you so much pegasus, for sharing these things...no, you are not alone ![]() ![]() |
![]() anderson, Hunny, pegasus, Ygrec23
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#21
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thank you pegasus, we do the same thing time to time that is why we recorded to when we are under stress. just know that we do hear you even better because we can read your words.
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Sometimes the only way to find freedom is to fight for it, even unto death! Because no form of abuse transcends pass it! To live free and with hope is still the greatest gift of life!- anderson ![]() |
![]() pegasus
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#22
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Thanks everyone.
![]() Back to work tomorrow and there is a colleague that I always switch off on. I happen to like her but I'm forever asking her to repeat what she said. Actually we do clash personality wise, the rota has changed so we won't see each other so much. Two bosses together doesn't work see? Anyhoo, I'm already worrying that we'll switch off when she starts talking to me. Please let me stay with it! Does it help to beg all of the littles to pay attention? I don't know, I'll try anything. Can't use a dictophone on this one. ![]()
__________________
![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
#23
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.....it's not just a job......it's an adventure!.........
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![]() DancingAlone, pegasus
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#24
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What? Eeyore and Pooh went down to the river and met Tigger too?
__________________
![]() Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
#25
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((((Pegasus))))
Just wanted to say that I hear what you are saying. So many times when someone is talking somehow I can be looking right at them and not hear them. I think I am listening but at times it is like someone steps in front and my hearing is not really there. I have to at times when I am not embarassed to ask them, "What did you say?" I hope that this week at work goes better and that you will let us know how you are doing. I think a recorder would work well. Wish you the best. Thinking of you. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() dps ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() pegasus
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