[justdontknow]

I am really struggling tonight. For some reason, I have been having an ultra tough time lately and today was just really bad. I don't want to go into any details because I think it would be very triggering for some people. I am frustrated. I am tired. I want to feel loved and I don't. The protectors inside are letting me choose for myself now. They say that their roles as protectors are now down to a minimum and I have to do things on my own. It feels as if they are trying to go away and I don't want them to. I need them because I consider them to be my parents. No one wants their parents to go away, I don't think. I just wish they would take over for a while so I can get back to feeling ok because right now I am not. When they used to take over, I could get myself back together inside, but now they will not do that for me because they want me to do this kind of stuff on my own now because they feel that I am strong enough and ready to do so. I do not feel that way at all. Why is everything so hard?

Cris

[Nupoet64]

(((((Chris)))))...Learning to deal with things is part of the healing. You can still do things out here to help you get back together...warm bath, soft music, etc.
They are not going away, they are blending into you....where they should have been all along. I know it scarey, especially if you have spent most of your life depending on them.
Please know that we, here at The House, are offering support adn hugs and a shoulder to cry on or we can hold the punching bag for you...

[anderson]

safe hugs from all of us.
want you to know that you are not alone.
we are listening

[Crew]

(((((((((Justdon'tknow)))))))))) Please realize that you guys are awesome

and please realize that we are here for you and if you ever need an ear or two

let us know and we will be there for you to chat, ,

and even if you need to a bunch, we have plenty boxes of tissues just for you to use.

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time, yet through all of your memmories we understand the pain and for that I think we can both relate cause were.....
friends for sho! right?

Know we care and we are here just pm us anytime and we will be there for you,

Your freinds,
Crew

[justdontknow]

Originally Posted by Nupoet64

(((((Chris)))))...Learning to deal with things is part of the healing. You can still do things out here to help you get back together...warm bath, soft music, etc.
They are not going away, they are blending into you....where they should have been all along. I know it scarey, especially if you have spent most of your life depending on them.
Please know that we, here at The House, are offering support adn hugs and a shoulder to cry on or we can hold the punching bag for you...

Thanks for the support Nupoet. It really does help to know that I am not alone and I do have support.

Cris and the Hotel

[justdontknow]

Originally Posted by anderson

safe hugs from all of us.
want you to know that you are not alone.
we are listening

Thanks for this Anderson. We are very glad to know that you are all still around to help us through the hard times. I am especially glad because you are a great support to me. Thank you for the hugs, I really need them right now.

Cris and the Hotel

[justdontknow]

Originally Posted by Crew

(((((((((Justdon'tknow)))))))))) Please realize that you guys are awesome

and please realize that we are here for you and if you ever need an ear or two

let us know and we will be there for you to chat, ,

and even if you need to a bunch, we have plenty boxes of tissues just for you to use.

I am so sorry you are having such a rough time, yet through all of your memmories we understand the pain and for that I think we can both relate cause were.....
friends for sho! right?

Know we care and we are here just pm us anytime and we will be there for you,

Your freinds,
Crew

Crew,

Of course we are friends. I have considered us friends from the moment you first said hi in chat. It is a nice offer to chat and I may take you up on that sometime when I am not at work. It is great to know that there are others who understand the pain I have and that I am not alone. We here at the Hotel appreciate you and your "crew". Thanks.

Cris and the Hotel

[Miracle1986]

(((Cris)))

[Lillyleaf]

((Cris)) I am not sure what to say.. and if I did sayanything I am sure it would mean nothing. But I hope you know that I love you and I care. I will always be there for you and here to help you!

[Nupoet64]

Chris, had T session today. One of the things we discussed was my resistance to the blending of those in the House.
My T told me 2 things that really made sense, while we were on this subject; really hit home with me:
1. "This is grief work. You are grieving a 'loss' of yourself as you have always known yourself to be."
2. "Most of this resistance is fear of the unknown. You have NO TEMPLATE for NORMAL. So it all feels very scarey. You are going along with no map or 'template'."

I never really looked at it that way, but she is correct. It does scare me to death to not be able to see, hear or communicate with those in The House. I miss them. They have ALWAYS been there, I just never told anyone.
When Jacob shut down the communication, I felt like someone who had lived in a large family all my life, suddenly tossed out, alone into the big wide world, without preparation. It was terrifying for me. Very lonely.
I hope you find a calm place of safety adn peace....we at The House are here for you and everyone in The Hotel...

[invisigirl]

(((((justdontknow)))))