[silentwhisper]

I am really struggling but I cannot put my finger on the reason or reasons why. I just yearn for someone to be me with and for some support regardless of actions on my part. I am tired of help only coming with all these conditions, which usually I cannot meet for an extended period of time because I take a break and others have other priorities. Thank you for listening.

we will be your friend

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by TrinityDancer

we will be your friend

thank you

[anderson]

U are not alone here. we all feel this way time or two.
sitting here thinking of you and all those within.

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((silentwhisper))))

Thank you for posting. We are here for you and look forward to getting to know you. We hear what you are saying and want you to know that you are not alone. For us, we felt that way for so long. The feelings that had no reasons for being or not ones we could find. The yearning to be heard and feel that there were no conditions, no judgements. To be able to be who we were.

Here you can be that for there are no expectations. You can reach out and ask for what you need. You can be who you are. There is a reason somewhere for the way you feel and when the time is right you will understand. Just remember to breath and to do that self care. Taking breaks as you need to is important.

Many here understand how you feel for we have been there at times ourselves and sometimes still are. When the black clouds roll in many times it can feel as though no one is there maybe because they seem to block out our ability to see. For so long we had no one and trust did not exist. Even now the trust sometimes seems to disappear.

You are not alone and we care. Keep reaching and posting as you can. Sending you many gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by anderson

U are not alone here. we all feel this way time or two.
sitting here thinking of you and all those within.

thank you...we hate feeling lost and alone...we were always being pushed off on other people growing up...we went between Mom, Grandma, Maw-Maw, aunts and uncles, friends...sometimes people forgot us...we were left waiting at bus stops, school, church, etc...it feels like that...like we are waiting just for noone to show up

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

((((silentwhisper))))

Thank you for posting. We are here for you and look forward to getting to know you. We hear what you are saying and want you to know that you are not alone. For us, we felt that way for so long. The feelings that had no reasons for being or not ones we could find. The yearning to be heard and feel that there were no conditions, no judgements. To be able to be who we were.

Here you can be that for there are no expectations. You can reach out and ask for what you need. You can be who you are. There is a reason somewhere for the way you feel and when the time is right you will understand. Just remember to breath and to do that self care. Taking breaks as you need to is important.

Many here understand how you feel for we have been there at times ourselves and sometimes still are. When the black clouds roll in many times it can feel as though no one is there maybe because they seem to block out our ability to see. For so long we had no one and trust did not exist. Even now the trust sometimes seems to disappear.

You are not alone and we care. Keep reaching and posting as you can. Sending you many gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

Sounds like you truly understand. It is nice to be understood. So many of us hate feeling so needy. First we had to learn to not expect any help from anyone and now it is difficult to admit there are times we truly need help.

[Miracle1986]

We are here with open arms and hearts...
we will be your friends

[Nupoet64]

Silent, we are all here... I know it is lonely and scarey....but you are not alone, we are here...safe hugs and many prayers..

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((safe hugs)))) and friendship

(((SW))) we are all here for you.

[Hunny]

we feel the same

[silentwhisper]

Why can I not make friends in real life? DID is scary...hubby is scary...hubby being a pastor is scary. I have learned I can make friends as a singleton but sooner or later problems arise as that is not who I really am. Even here chatting with one is ok but when another comes out some are bound to go away. I do not wish to live the lie that we are always Dawn kuz we are not.

[Hunny]

ditto

Peoples expectations *sigh* you can never meet them.

What can you do?! If they know, they might leave, if they don't know, we deny us.

Deep caring mutual relationships exist for them. How to find them for us is a challenge.

Have to persevere. Our day will come. :-( Knowing when is not ours to know.

Who do we serve ourself or them? Who will care enough to know the whole of us?

[Ygrec23]

Originally Posted by silentwhisper

Why can I not make friends in real life? DID is scary...hubby is scary...hubby being a pastor is scary. I have learned I can make friends as a singleton but sooner or later problems arise as that is not who I really am. Even here chatting with one is ok but when another comes out some are bound to go away. I do not wish to live the lie that we are always Dawn kuz we are not.

Dear silent,

You, all of you, can make friends here together. The people here understand. There are many other people here with DID. And the people here without DID have some other kind of problem that makes it easier for them to put themselves in your place. Even if they don't have DID, they still know something about it because they're here on PC. So they are NOT bound to go away. What I'd like to know is WHY hubby is scary? Does he not understand you? Does he not understand the problem you have? Does he think it's because of some evil spirit possessing you? I'd like to know the answer and I think others here would too. We wish you, ALL of you, the best, and relief from your suffering. Take care. God loves you too.

Originally Posted by silentwhisper

Why can I not make friends in real life? DID is scary...hubby is scary...hubby being a pastor is scary. I have learned I can make friends as a singleton but sooner or later problems arise as that is not who I really am. Even here chatting with one is ok but when another comes out some are bound to go away. I do not wish to live the lie that we are always Dawn kuz we are not.

and when another comes out and some go away, know that there are other who will take their place. If we look at it as "only different personalities" ; not everyone gets along in the real world, so different sides of us won't always get along with other people. So what? There are plenty who want to be friends and when one other comes out, that may drive people away, our others may really like the "new person. "
Did that make any sense? You can be whoever you are here.

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Hunny

ditto

Peoples expectations *sigh* you can never meet them.

What can you do?! If they know, they might leave, if they don't know, we deny us.

Deep caring mutual relationships exist for them. How to find them for us is a challenge.

Have to persevere. Our day will come. :-( Knowing when is not ours to know.

Who do we serve ourself or them? Who will care enough to know the whole of us?

cannot even meet the expectations here
we always manage to fail
i wish i knew the answers
ty for posting

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Ygrec23

Dear silent,

You, all of you, can make friends here together. The people here understand. There are many other people here with DID. And the people here without DID have some other kind of problem that makes it easier for them to put themselves in your place. Even if they don't have DID, they still know something about it because they're here on PC. So they are NOT bound to go away. What I'd like to know is WHY hubby is scary? Does he not understand you? Does he not understand the problem you have? Does he think it's because of some evil spirit possessing you? I'd like to know the answer and I think others here would too. We wish you, ALL of you, the best, and relief from your suffering. Take care. God loves you too.

Hubby is scary. He has tried to have us exorcised before. Now he tries to ignore us. Plus today he made a mention of what today is and jokes about it knowing we have alot of abuse centered around this day.

Originally Posted by silentwhisper

Hubby is scary. He has tried to have us exorcised before. Now he tries to ignore us. Plus today he made a mention of what today is and jokes about it knowing we have alot of abuse centered around this day.

Sorry if I am too nosey but, is hubby any part of your abuse? If he tried to have you exorcised, he obviously doesn't know "Jack" about DID...or he does know and he realises the harm he is doing? sorry...this doesn't sound good...

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

Sorry if I am too nosey but, is hubby any part of your abuse? If he tried to have you exorcised, he obviously doesn't know "Jack" about DID...or he does know and he realises the harm he is doing? sorry...this doesn't sound good...

He says he knows and understands but really he does not want to. We cannot switch around him. I can tell him I am not feeling well and he ignores me or asks how much time I am spending in Bible reading and prayer.

Originally Posted by silentwhisper

He says he knows and understands but really he does not want to. We cannot switch around him. I can tell him I am not feeling well and he ignores me or asks how much time I am spending in Bible reading and prayer.

At best, hubby is not helpful....at worst, he is perpetuating the abuse.
I wish you safty and peace.

[Hunny]

Us too, us too.

Even here us are a bit too broken to lend a hand here and are in confusion. Trying to forgive those that will see us as healed only us hate to let them down by saying that us are not whole yet. Why? why? Because life comes and lots of things happened. It is time to rest for us but sadly it is a difficult month.

My thoughts try to reach you and my hope is that you find a little safety somewhere nearby where you are.

I don't get the whole exorcixe thing. They think they are doing something to help but it can be harmful and why would anyone want to get rid of a part of us is beyond us. It is all us have. Why? why? why? I don't know. Sometimes us feel so strong and conquering these stupid antiquated ways but just now us are laying pretty low due to a few things.

Originally Posted by silentwhisper

cannot even meet the expectations here
we always manage to fail
i wish i knew the answers
ty for posting

[Nupoet64]

Silent, I am sooo sorry you are dealing with this stuff.... The "demons" are the ones who made us this way...truely evil. I wish you were able to find some safe peaceful place to just be.
What happens if you switch around him? Several times you and the little one have said that...what happens? What does he do? (If it is not too hard to talk about).
My heart aches for all of you. Safe hugs and acceptance of the many facets of you.

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Calista+12

At best, hubby is not helpful....at worst, he is perpetuating the abuse.
I wish you safty and peace.

I know...we know...Dawn just loves him enough and is so used to be abused she thinks it is all she deserves

Storm

[silentwhisper]

Originally Posted by Hunny

Us too, us too.

Even here us are a bit too broken to lend a hand here and are in confusion. Trying to forgive those that will see us as healed only us hate to let them down by saying that us are not whole yet. Why? why? Because life comes and lots of things happened. It is time to rest for us but sadly it is a difficult month.

My thoughts try to reach you and my hope is that you find a little safety somewhere nearby where you are.

I don't get the whole exorcixe thing. They think they are doing something to help but it can be harmful and why would anyone want to get rid of a part of us is beyond us. It is all us have. Why? why? why? I don't know. Sometimes us feel so strong and conquering these stupid antiquated ways but just now us are laying pretty low due to a few things.

I am sorry you can relate. I do hope to find some place safe.