[Catlovers141]

I don't have DID, but I have DDNOS. I hear dissociative parts talking to me generally several times a day. But for the past two weeks I have heard next to nothing and to be honest it is kind of worrying me because it feels like it just came from nowhere. The only connection I can make is that they stopped almost right after the therapy session I had two weeks ago, where we started to map the parts. There were a few comments about that but then nothing.

It is frustrating because a lot of times they are upset about something, but there is one part that is fairly loud and usually will say exactly what is on her mind no matter what. Hearing nothing makes me really unsure about what I am going to do.

I am going to therapy today and am going to bring it up there, but I was wondering if this has happened to anyone and if there is any reason why they would have stopped talking or why I might have stopped hearing them? Is there anything I can do?

[Hunny]

(((( Catlovers ))))

Reading and hoping the best for you.

[Catlovers141]

Thank you Hunny, and anyone else who read this. They seem to have come back a little bit but it isn't quite as much as usual. I am having trouble hearing them now, like I can't quite make out what they say. But it is an improvement over not hearing anything, I suppose. I have to admit, though, that I do miss the usual chatter.

[anderson]

(((Cat)))
we are here for you. at times those with in do go quite. We just take it one step at a time.
sending safe thoughts from all of us.

[lonegael]

Catlovers, mine were mapped as an experiment af a therapist a few years ago, Mine are very quiet unless I am under a lot of stress. I am also Bipolar, and because my psychiatric illness is pretty stable, my "parts" or facets as I call them, have been very quiet for a long time. lately they have been a bit louder becasue my meds are being juggled and my illness is taking more of a toll. It might be that mapping htem has helped take some of the pressure off them to pull for attention to be heard, or has lessened some other stressor that has made it more improtant for them to come forward.
Does it bother you?

[Catlovers141]

Thank you for getting back to me. I think your suggestion about wanting to be heard was a good one and worth considering.

To be honest, yes it does bother me a bit. It just feels very strange to have them there and then just have all of them be completely silent. There are a few that are usually fairly silent and when I go for a long time without hearing them it doesn't feel like a big deal. But all of them are quiet now, even the ones that usually have a lot to say. Part of it is also that they would notice things that I wouldn't, and it was nice to have someone let me know things about what is going on that I wasn't aware of, but after hearing it and thinking about it actually made a lot of sense.

Plus I am kind of worried that something is wrong, like mapping them was upsetting or something else happened. But it's hard to know what to do if they won't say what is going on.

[Eriksplus]

My guess is they don't appriceate the map idea; often when I recive "outside" news I don't like myself, I'll lock myself in my room for awhile. I think for awhile, they are taking the same approach?

(Webber)Erik

[Catlovers141]

I think all of your suggestions make a lot of sense, but how can I invite them to talk and tell me what about it has bothered them? It's really unsettling for them to just randomly disappear. My therapist said they might not come back. Why would that happen?

[lonegael]

I'm not sure. How well defined were they to begin with? Not all of mine were really more than fragments, in fact most of them are just that. Those I think have a way of falling by the wayside more easily when mapping or external situations might change the balance of what goes on in your inner life. Just a rough guess.

[Hunny]

Catlovers141,

One person is one way and another person is another way...

The silence is 'nice' sometimes...at times it can be somewhat disturbing but not completely...I am always surprised at the ones that warn or give insight...

Perhaps the mapping for me was more like introducing them to an outsider and therefore the outsider became a kind of part of the whole. In this case it was my therapist. In those days I would not have known to ask inside, if it was okay to make that introduction but I think it may be a good idea, just in case. Perhaps you can just apologise to the ones that may have not wanted to be introduced just yet.

To me this is where the 'key' may lie, the difference between a respectful therapist and one that just wants to get the job done. For so long the alters have been yours alone, then you map them with an outsider and poof...they/we/you are no longer alone. It is pretty intense. I am hoping you will be extra specially gentle with yourself.

Do some enjoyable, kind and pleasant things for yourself/ves. I think it can be pretty surprising too. Having said this, I did not unlock or map all my alters in the therapy sessions. Have you asked who else may be waiting to be heard? Sometimes some of them don't like to leave home or have been silent so long they don't know they can speak or even come forward to be known. Just some thoughts from our experience.

Keep close and take care...thinking about all of you.

[Catlovers141]

Thank you all for your input! Hunny, I followed your advice and found your suggestions very helpful. I think you are right -- I should have asked them before writing them on the map. It does seem a bit rude in retrospect to be just sharing information about "another person" without asking them if it's okay.

I did end up apologizing to them, and I redrew the map in an attempt to make it better. It seems like there is one in particular that doesn't want her identity known. I drew a box for her (like we did for all the other parts) and drew lines connecting her to everyone else, but I left her name out of the box, so it is blank. I don't know if this will have made things better, but I wasn't sure if I should have just left her off completely because it seems like then I would be just ignoring her and she generally doesn't like that. I was kind of hoping she or someone else would say something about that but I haven't heard anything so I don't know how she feels about it.

I have heard from a few of the parts, but one of them is completely silent except to tell me that I ruined everything. She is the one that doesn't really want her identity written.

[lonegael]

OK. that makes a lot of sense. I think I surprised a lot of mine, but they were often not real talkers anyway. Kind of silent doers, do it was hard to tell. Good going though. Give the silent one a little time. Let her know in other ways that you are sorry, and with a bit of respect to her feelings, she might be more receptive when she sees it wasn't meant to hurt.
(You know, I hear chuckling in my head when I write this. One of the "guys" I think is remembering)

[Miracle1986]

Sometimes parts need a break from the chaos that can surround being who we are
(I am a "part"... I personally find that word disgusting, but to each his own).
Or possibly they just don't see a need to be vocal right now. Nothing urgently needs to be said.
They will begin talking again when they feel rested and they have something to say.

[mlyn]

Wow hunny you say much!!!
some of mine testing T and am grateful they did. oops. maybe should not be posted here.

[Hunny]

Catlovers, how nice you are being to your system. How are you doing today?

[Catlovers141]

Miracle1986: Thank you for your message. I think you are right and that maybe she is just trying to get away from the chaos. I am curious as to why you aren't so fond of the word "part" and what term you like to use for yourselves?

Hunny-

Today I am doing better. I had therapy and when I left I felt kind of disconnected and disoriented, but it has gotten better. I'm planning to rest tonight and go watch some TV with a friend. I'm in college so all I have to do is go down a flight of stairs and I'm in my friend's room.

With the parts, I think I am going to let it go for a bit. I have done just about everything I can think of, and all I can do now is wait to see if there is a response.

[Hunny]