Not doing good

It's not OK to be curious if people find out you are being so. But being curious (nosy they call it) helped us get by when we were little. By being noticing, by poking around, listening, reading stuff we weren't supposed to, that showed us whent hings were dangerous and we had to ack to keep people happy or else they would go. It's a habit I can't break now. So if someone says don't read something I have to read it. So I know what they problem might be. It was a bad thing to do.

Hi Petunia

rest is a good idea. It's still early here yet but I think I will go to bed soon and take another sleeping tablet and see if I can sleepthrough all this. Maybe I should just keep taking the sleeping tablets till it all gets better. But my dr said to only take them every other night. So I don't know what to do. I have to get things ready for H to take little daughter to the optician tomorrow. He needs me to tell him what to do, what to say, so I have to think about what decisions might ahve to be made. It's hard sometimes. Especially when I don't want to be the grownup one.

atg just wanted to tell you I made a list. It's a bit scary in a way cos there are so many things on it. I'm trying to believe I don't have to do all of them at once. Tomorrow I want to cross off at least one of them.