[January]

Dear Friends,

If someone's posts or replies upset you, put that person on ignore. That way they can write what they want, but you won't read it. You will see the person's name, but not what he or she typed.

A another person's opinion is just that, an opinion. It doesn't make it true or false for you. So, if that person upsets you, put him or her on ignore and you will feel better.

Hugs to all!

Jan

PS. Remember, the ignore button is your friend!

[hillbunnyb]

Grand Poobah January speaks the truth.

[January]

It is the truth!

[kimmydawn]

Thank you, Jan. This can't be said enough. In a community this size, there is rarely going to be a post where everyone agrees (unless it's about how great a job docjohn does here ).

I feel our primary responsibility the ourselves and the community is to exercise emotional safety...when we can, of course. There are times that it can't be avoided. However, if we know that a person is often triggering or upsetting for us, we need to ignore or avoid their posts. If we feel the posts are against guidelines, then report to the appropriate Mod or Admin.

Well said, Jan. Well taken as well.

Thanks!

KD

[allthegirls6]

Kimmy, I think you are right. I suppose not everyone can like everything. Im going to take your advice and speak to mods/admin more often when I read something that is against the guidelines. It really makes sense to do that.

Thanks

all the girls

[kimmydawn]

thank you (((((((((girls))))))))))

You know, I've learned alot in the last month or so as well. I've been very focused on certain things, and wasn't looking "outside the box" too well.

I've calmed some and my views have expanded some. I appreciate y'all so much.

Big ears.

[allthegirls6]

Im wondering about something. Is it OK to speak to Admin when a person seems to be harassing another member or is it just if they are harassing me.

I hope you guys dont mind me asking that?

All the girls

Thank YOU Jan.
I ahve been trying to get those that don't agree with my therapy program and beliefs around this to understand you don't like what I post then don't read mt posting. I don't expect everyone to believe as I do I post from my beliefs, research and therapy programs just like everyone else does. People ask me questions and I answer them and what they do with that after I answer them is up to them, they can keep it or throw it away, or take it to their therapists and work on it in therapy just like they expect others to do when they answer and post from their beliefs, therapy and so on. No one needs to be clones of each other just to be here. and this website has features for people to use and they are so easy to use. much more easier then living in constant chaos because someone does not believe and does not participate in your beliefs, unless of course the person constantly getting upset and they choose not to use the features because they thrive on chaos. Well I say thrive away I use those features when needed and I accept not everyone is going to believeand post the way I do and I don't get baited into fights.

Happy reading to those that want to read.

happy ignoring to those that choose to take care of themselves if they don't believe as I do and dont want to read about my healing and so on.

Happy thriving on chaos to those that need chaos in their lives

and a happy merry christmas to all.

[allthegirls6]

January, thanks for your advice. Ive taken it on board and the problem is solved. It really does make sense.

All the girls (the whole six of us)

Hugs for you and take care now XXXXXX

just popping in to say that the "IGNORE" button really works!! xoxox pat

Suggestion - Maybe because this issue keep coming up a post explaining how to work the ignore / threaded features could be pinned to the top of each message board area. That way how to solve the problems is just a click away no matter what area you are in.

[January]

(((((((((((((((((( girls )))))))))))))))))

You are most welcome!!!!!!

Hugs,

Jan

[kimmydawn]

(((((((girls))))))))))

You can mention anything to me, or another admin...any concerns, etc. Concerns can ALWAYS be talked about...bottom line for me. I often get PM's from members concerned about another member. It doesn't mean that I will go into alot of information regarding another member, but we'll always hear the concerns.

Don't hesitate, ok?

Big Ears.

[Zorah]

Thanks January, for caring enough to post this, kd too.

The big problem with the ignore feature is that if someone you have on ignore upsets one of your friends, you are actually forced to read the posts by the person you have on ignore, in order to work out the problem.
We (the nest) can't see anyway around this.

when this happens to me I let the person know I can't read those threads or posts and ask them to talk to the moderators and administrators. That way the problem gets worked out and I don't get triggered unneccesarily

[kimmydawn]

Zorah, that's a good point!

The only thing that I can advise there is that if you know that a poster which you're ignoring is posting to a potentially triggering thread, the tread might have to be avoided altogether.

Nothing is going to be 100%. However, the best tools that the software has are available to members here.

You can advise your friend that you have ignored this member and that speaking of this person's posts can defeat the purpose of the ignore function for you. Or you could tell your friend that I will support you as I care, but I really can't discuss any issue with the ignored member right now because it's really triggering for me. Your friend will understand.

If you know that ignored member is posting alot to one thread, you might want to avoid the thread altogether, especially if you know that it might end up triggering, then tell your friends that. You do bring about a very good point, and one that's been brought up before.

It's something that we have a right to do in order to keep ourselves emotionally safe. Friends almost always understand too.

There have been days when I didn't feel emotionally safe and restricted my time here due to that at that particular hour of a day.

I hope that helps just a bit. Your point is valid, but there is no way that I see around it but checking inside to see what we should/shouldn't do when we see that someone we have on ignore has posted to a thread. Then, let those that are emotionally safe for you know what you're doing and they'll help you all they can, I'm sure.

I hope you're having a good nite?

KD

[Zorah]

Thanks kd

For seeing the problem & the difficulties involved

Thanks for saying the point is valid

Your advice seems good to me, we will tell our friends.