It's finally sinking in to me. I'm not in control as much I want to claim I is and the original. Even though I'm co-con to a point...the Others have their own mind as much as I believed that they were just an embodiment of my fantasies and coping skills.

I'm dictating now because I don't get body control. I can connect with who is present...but I can't know them. It's like there is a wall with everyone...just communication. Like I've said in an earlier post...I just watch...that's me which is truly horrifying to now realize that you are just some part in the scheme of things....not the victim himself...literally.

An observer. It hasn't dawned on me why I can't "control"...to be an insignificant part....

I'm now truly upset to finally realize that I'm just a cog and not first gear. Yes, I'm very intellectual....but I can also see when I'm just the passenger, too.

Thanks for letting me share this....it's so humbling to finally realize that you are not who you thought you were. Thanks.

[Luce]

Oh, I can relate to this, AC. I came to a similar (though not the same) realization last year, and it was... humbling, mortifying, terrifying. I thought I was 'running the show'. I came to realize I am not.
This kind of stuff can shift one's entire world view.
Take care.

Okay, too add, I could never figure out why I did the things that I did....because I didn't. My t's have to be crossed and i's dotted.

I do give plenty of sound advice and direction since we are part of a group....a moral compass? Conviction?

Some traits we hold dear to us....can it be an Other?

I'm always questioning....doubting...till I know.

Thank you for your time in reading this.



This guy is off his rocker if you ask me. -Brit

[bearguardian]

I am also just a watcher, or we are. In a mechanical and spiritual and gloomy and other quality universe of many selves, reflections, creations, lights and shadows. Determinism or free will is probably the lifes most puzzling question for me. Its really a hard work to keep all those selves in line.

But Im reluctant to say I have DID.

Originally Posted by bearguardian

I am also just a watcher, or we are. In a mechanical and spiritual and gloomy and other quality universe of many selves, reflections, creations, lights and shadows. Determinism or free will is probably the lifes most puzzling question for me. Its really a hard work to keep all those selves in line.

But Im reluctant to say I have DID.

We are DID even though the "Lord's of Psychology" hasn't declared it yet. Screw them. We are smarter then they are.

So...no more stressing...just accept the obvious.

Originally Posted by Luce

Oh, I can relate to this, AC. I came to a similar (though not the same) realization last year, and it was... humbling, mortifying, terrifying. I thought I was 'running the show'. I came to realize I am not.
This kind of stuff can shift one's entire world view.
Take care.

I gotta stop and Thank you for saying that.

I can't help to feel that my insecurities was impeding the system as small as my voice is.

[L.P.]

I wish i had tons of just right things to say. I know how hard it is when you been thinkin one thing then boom you get that all turned upside down.

NiKKi