How do you find the real you

When there are so many voices , personailites, traits, inflections

i'm not sure how to answer that, but i wanted you to know i read.

For me the "real me" is a collage rather than a typical portrait or photo realism.
Kinda like those pictures they have that look like a face but when you get up close you can see it is made up of hundreds of pictures of other peoples faces.

kinda like these:
http://www.mazaika.com/gallery.html

I don’t know the real me. Don’t think I ever did. There are now only three main parts one better and more capable than the other - healing/progress.

is AAALLLLLLLL the real you. is ALL the real me. think of that? Okay to be all you instead of just part of you.

You’re right. It’s all me. But it gets confusing at times.

It's tough for me, too, to tell which/who is the "real me" sometimes. Something my pdoc asked me/talked with me about is "do you feel real?" "If so, then you're real." My therapist tends to know the "real" me, or as we call it "the core self."

The real me is comprised of all my parts. The parts compose the whole. The real me, however, is but a snapshot in time, since I am constantly changing. I expect people have to look at what each values. Incorporating what we value and what we believe are important aspects of meaning into our lives is the goal for many. The real me, then, is a mosaic that may frequently change as I maturate.

You are the whole of who your are even if you are seperate those parts belong onto the whole.. This is how I believe anyway....

Today, on reflection I think its important to listen to people.

you find the answers to this and many more by seeing a mental health provider like a therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist. they can help you to discover things like

who your alters are and everything about them,

who you are and how you became DID if thats what you have (I cant remember if you said you have it or not)

who you want to be and a whole lot of other things about this wonderful person called you.

We are all the real us

so glad you have that sense of connection / co consciousness / being one whole person which ever terms you use.

most people with DID dont feel connected to their self and their alters. usually the alters take on lives of their own and theres a mental dividing "wall". and alters dont usually refer to their self as an alter. since they have lives of their own they too percieve their self as a separate identity.

the result of this is the host and alters dont know and cant remember who came first, who is the core person, the one to which was born to and has ownership to the body.

in short going through identity crisis's of who is the "real" one born to and owning this body. who are the alters and who is the host...

sorting this all out can be quite frustrating, confusing and scarey, sometimes it even turns out that the one(s) that believed they were the host was just the one that was out the most. the host / core person was so split into other alters and buried and protected with in the system their identity isnt known until many yrs of therapy have past.

imagine being in a room of about 2- any number of people and all are in their own cubicles including the host/core. they believe they are the only one, they answer to the same name and have no contact with the others.

it takes years and years to sort out who is who, what their purposes/reasons for being are, which one the host is being protected and hidden by...

that age old question will the real so and so please stand up? comes to mind.

We fought with those thoughts and feelings for YEARS. Now after 30+ years, and a fabulously talented therapist, most of us inside know each other and accept each other-- there are a few we apparently don't know but in time we will figure it out probably-- we still aren't sure who came first or who the real "host" is supposed to be (note:it isn't me, but this apparently is my job for now--I didn't even come along until they were 7 years old) And for several years we all thought we were the only one-- and many years (and sometimes still) lost time like crazy--and had plenty of crises and didn't feel connected to each other (on occassion, happens still)-- but things will get better. BTW, I (SarahMichelle) am probably the only one who feels this way!!! Another day someone else could write here and give a completely different answer.

sounds like you have done a great job

I met with my best friend today and it was great as she could tell when the real me came through and that was good, because if a human being can tell that, then it reassuring that God will know the real me too.
mala

think of a jigsaw puzzle, each piece is a part of the whole puzzle and without them all it is not a whole puzzle, so the whole puzzle needs all the pieces, each one different, each having its own place, independent on its own as a piece yet only a jigsaw when put with the other pieces. the real you is the jigsaw and your parts are the pieces.

From the book Why Good People Do Bad Things, by James Hollis, Ph. D.: