[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Has anyone heard of a dissasociative state that changes with each event? Memory loss along with personality change for some, fainting spell, siezure, many different blackouts the majority cause different things to happen each time. Anyone hear of anything like this?

Was diagnosed with PTSD, DID, schizophrenia, manic depression, bipolar and others over the 10 years of therapy (can't believe it's been that long) but I don't believe any of them. It's got to be something else, ALL of these things can't be different, it seems like some should be connected in some way. Like the blackouts posted above... Any idea if there is something like that out there? Thanks to all for any response! Trying to do some personal reflection time and curious if I'm not the only one with this issue

[(JD)]

Do all your doctors know of the other dx's you've been given? Unfortunately, since so many psychiatrists think DID is "rare" and MDs probably don't follow it at all, then the bipolar disorder and schizophrenia dxs are selected.

You ask DDNOS but DID itself will account for what you posted about. Different parts of you were created to handle different aspects of your life, and what is called "switching" whenever the situation changes. Black outs for you perhaps, periods of totally dissociation, but when another might be in control? Someone who is younger with more energy or excitable, another who is sad and holds your dark memories... all those can fit into the DID.

PTSD and DID often go together, though not everyone with DID has PTSD and vice versa.

One of the big problems is when doctors begin to treat what they have DXd you with, with medication, and if it's DID that may really mess with you and make things more impossible to figure out.

I'd suggest discussing with your T that dxd the DID and work with that T as your main doctor.... and reconsider taking any medication. The other disorders often never become stabilized due to the ups and downs and stresses of life...and thus you would never find out for sure about the DID either.

Did I make any sense?

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you JD. It is a huge mess trying to figure out what's going on in my own head. 9 years ago I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and shortly after the same t diagnosed me with DID. I get voices from in and out. I also see things that are not real. I dissasociate like it's going out of style also dealing with depersonalization often as well. I can be watching my body interact with a table full of people but my mind is at the other side of the table completely disconnected to my body.
Then I have times where I hear about the night before how I'm crawling on the floor screaming and crying getting sick everywhere and got taken by ambulance to the ER.
Then I have a fainting spell and stop breathing for nearly 3 minutes.
Then I have a seizure for a minute and a half and escape into my head.
Then my brothers call me by different names and my mom tells me I am back talking her when I have no memory of the event. Each time it starts and ends the same. A heavy dark feeling comes in and everything goes black. I get sucked back into reality the same as well and begin to get sick sometimes but always no matter if it's 1/2 a second or hours I've lost, I always have some sort of headache.
I'm unaware of any alters. I've tried for years to become co conscious and am starting to feel like maybe it wont happen because I'm not DID. I had a t who wanted to help me become co conscious so she put me on Lithium to help me dissasociate more, help them come forward more pretty much. I think I was her guinea pig. I started seeing things and even told her I thought that she could have been one of my own alters and that this world was all made up in my head (hense the schizo part lol) well she still wanted me on the meds even though I was seeing spiders everywhere, buffalo on the interstate getting run over... So many insane things and so many times my body would move without me doing it. I called it quits after that.

I have no t, have no money for a t. I need assistance but wont get any for a while so I'm trying to figure it out on my own. I can tell you the first time I lost my memory (I wont of course due to triggers) and I can remember the times in between... Well some of them. I don't remember what happened during the memory loss of course but I can remember that feeling after coming back just knowing something is missing. Some piece of you is missing. It's a scary feeling and any time I remember that feeling, any time my mind wonders and thinks about that feeling too much it comes back. It happens when I'm under a great deal of stress which leads me to believe it is indeed a DD but the fact that it causes siezures and fainting as well as depersonalization and such... Not to mention I have phases where I can't remember who I am. I'm still me but I don't know who me is. I know my past, what is supposed to be my past, but it doesn't seem like it's me. Ugh it's frustrating. Sorry to talk your ear off, I'm at work and trying to speed up time and look into this some Thanks again for the response I really appreciate it!!!!!!!

[(JD)]

Still....from what you continue to share, I would go with the DID diagnosis for the time being, and not share the others (except PTSD) ... if medical personnel need to know tell them you dissociate. (Since I assume you are not on any medication. If you act out, or a part acts out and the doctors think you are a danger and aren't taking your meds for schizophrenia, that would so complicate your life.)

You don't need the DDNOS dx since you have the DID dx. Your T that suggested schizophrenia did so to give a path to try but what may have occurred is that your T did see and talk with more than just your personality, and thus changed the DX. A T cannot "officially" diagnose DID without personally encountering at least 2 alters.

Try reading up on DID and try some of the techniques to help your inner communication. A journal where all are allowed to write or draw without any condemnation is a good start. Allow space and materials for any younger parts to share as well...just in case. Talking to yourself when things are really important that you have total or good control might also help any who are co-conscious with you. Co-conscious in this sense meaning they know what you do and say, though you might not they are watching and listening.

People with DID tend to be highly intelligent who met with trauma(s) that instead of giving up and dying or becoming totally despondent, their minds created and walled off part of self who handled the trauma(s).

Depersonalization is another personality disorder....and a type of dissociation for many. Some parts of you may have different issues, including the capability to faint easily.Headaches are quite common when a "switch" from one personality part to another.

There are many helps right here in this forum for you...

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you again JD. Your post was very helpful. I've often wondered if the ones within (if there are any) could hear me or not. I've tried talking. I've tried communicating but get nothing. For some reason I often find myself referring to me as "we" when thinking and thinking out loud. I catch myself a lot of the time and am confused why I said it. My guess is that I've spent nearly 10 years with the dx of DID that it's in my head I'm a we and not a me. Or maybe it's because I am a we who knows...
I have a journal and I originally bought it for the purpose of communication within but it's become a personal journal that even I myself am nervous to write in. I have a feeling with the last journal I wrote in my fiance read it one night. I love him and he is very trusting but I guess his curiosity got the best of him and now I'm afraid it will again in this notebook so I've kept it pretty censored and maybe this is the reason it's not working for communication.

I've been thinking of getting a journal and hiding it but that's impossible at the moment since I share my bedroom with 2 others. Maybe an online journal but he has went through my web history before. Only once and he apologized a million times for it but none the less... I don't have much privacy. I have to clear history when I come on here on my own computer since I'm worried he may come on and read what I post. Please don't think he is a bad person though, he is a genuinely good man and I'm the snooper more than he is. We are still somewhat young and immature thus the reason for snooping.
I've tried thinking really hard, hoping they could hear me. Can they hear your thoughts? I hope so. I've spent hours having one sided conversations in my thoughts. Begging them to come out when I was at my loneliest. Begging them for help when I didn't feel like I could go further. Begging to just hear them to know I wasn't alone. For some reason I feel as if maybe I do have alters, maybe if they show themselves I wont feel as empty I guess you could say... I don't feel empty but I feel lonely and as if I'm all alone in here missing many things that I need I just don't know what they are. It's hard to explain feelings. I try to convince them to let me hear them, have them come out, anything at all, any information on who they are, anything.

I'm a very impatient person so I don't like waiting as long as I already have, maybe one of my alters holds my patience lol...
Thanks again for the response... Part of me wishes I do in fact have what the doctors say I have. So I know I'm not alone, I didn't live this life alone... Even if the alters are all me, we are all the same... The thought makes me feel a little less lonely

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Has anyone heard of a dissasociative state that changes with each event? Memory loss along with personality change for some, fainting spell, siezure, many different blackouts the majority cause different things to happen each time. Anyone hear of anything like this?

Was diagnosed with PTSD, DID, schizophrenia, manic depression, bipolar and others over the 10 years of therapy (can't believe it's been that long) but I don't believe any of them. It's got to be something else, ALL of these things can't be different, it seems like some should be connected in some way. Like the blackouts posted above... Any idea if there is something like that out there? Thanks to all for any response! Trying to do some personal reflection time and curious if I'm not the only one with this issue

Hi there purpleflying monkeys..

I thought I recognized this post so I went back over your past posts.. I was correct you have brought these things up before..

vasically we cant help you with these things. we cant diagnose you..

and with your posted history of -

you saying you live on bacon cheese burgers and fried and mountain dew
you have done the drug magic mushrooms
you have a history of epilepsy and having grand mal seizures,
you have a history of low blood pressure
Schizophrenia
DID
PTSD
Bipolar disorder
Depression

just those things alone can account for all the symptoms you are having.

living on bacon cheese burgers and french fries and mountain dew instead of a healthy doctor approved diet to ensure you get all the nutrients you need to keep you healthy can result in fainting spells, black outs, seizure disorders, blood pressure disorders and diseases, and the symptom of having mood swings and personality like changes memory problems. among any number of other problems like dehydration, heart problems and others..

doing mushrooms no matter how many times you do them can have any number of short term and long term effects including seizures, memory problems blackouts, mood and personality changes and the other symptoms you discribe.

epilepsy does come with memory problems, fainting spells, black outs, and seizures and many other problems you have posted here and in the past about.

one thing I do know DID and other dissociative disorders DDNOS included does not cause the host to pass out, faint or have black outs or have seizures.

Yes sometimes alters have health issues that the host does not, but the diagnostic criteria for diagnosing says if there is a physical health problem that can be causing the black outs, and seizures that rules out having a dissociative disorder.

you have physical health problems that your symptoms can be a part of so in diagnosing dissociative disorders like DDNOS and DID treatment providers have to say no you dont have those things if evaluated just on having black outs fainting spells seizures and all the other symptoms you have posted.

we cant diagnose you here on psych central the rules dont allow members to diagnose other members even if the member is a mental health provider we still cant do that.

if you really want to know what is going on with you, (and I assume you do because you keep posting asking us to tell you what your problems are) you will need to contact your treatment providers. we cant tell you here what your symptoms add up to. we cant tell you if you have any disorders. your doctors and the ER doctors can tell you that.

if any of us tell you yes its this and yes its that them we can be doing more harm to you than good. with your posted history we ccould be leading you into believing you have things you dont have or leading you into areas that could over look something.

please contact your treatment providers. they can help you. they are the ones the diagnosed you with low blood pressure, epilepsy and all that other stuff that you have posted extensively about. they can tell you which of your symptoms goes with which physical health problem they diagnosed you with and which symptoms go with the mental health disorders they have diagnosed you with.

they can even adjust your meds in case it is one of your diagnosed problems like schizophrenia that is making you question whether you have things you havent been diagnosed with yet. sometimes that disorder causes things like hallucinations and delusional thoughts about health problems.

I highly suggest seeing your treatment providers for a check up and med check. they can help you with all this stuff you repeatedly post about lately. we cant help you with those things here. the rules of the site doesnt allow us to diagnose you. and I know people with schizophrenia are prone to having a high level for suggestibility meaning even the littlest thing can make them question whether they have that health problem or not. so I dont want to even say yes this sounds like or no this sounds like. it could cause you a great deal of harm.

[(JD)]

Let me assure you that if the T that dx'd you with DID was certified/licensed then they would not make that DX of DID unless it met the specifications according to the DSM.

Some of your selves might not be aware they are DID, others might know everything. It is thought that each person with DID has a master part that knows and keeps aware of everything. Wow. It's sometime called a helper, that the T or host part can call upon when in a bind for progress.

Don't be surprised to find out if some of "your" thoughts are really theirs.

But it is all YOU... whether you are the main/host alter personality or not... the mind has cordoned off when something too overwhelming has occurred, perhaps.

Have you read any books on the subject? Getting Through the Day is a good one... and you can bounce around the chapters reading what is pertinent if you wish...it's one to keep reading though.

Since you've had such obvious issues with family around, it might be good to find some basic info and let them read it as well. Not that they will understand, but it might help them realize it isn't you acting out per se, but the disorder working.

As for privacy, well, you need to have an agreement that he won't read your journals. If he wants you to begin to heal and feel better, that's a must. I will share though that there are little safes made to look like books...common dictionary or such that are lock and keyed. The other portable safes are too easy to open imo, though you would know if they were broken into. No, you must have some privacy. This guy needs to be in for the long haul or he will hinder your life and progress, sorry to say.

Be well.