Ann communicated with me!

My T said I should talk to you guys. He says I'm not alone eventhough I feel alone. It's hard to trust. But you guys have been wonderful. I'm glad I found you.
Ann talked to me last night - it's the first time ever. She's 14 but she likes to hurt us - I didn't know that. She doesn't like T - I didn't know that either. She doesn't want to go to therapy and is angry that we do because she doesn't have a choice. She goes where we go. How can I help her feel more comfortable? She wants to do things to sabatoge what we're doing. How do I let her express herself while we stay safe?

Can she draw or write to you?

When I am in my angry memory piece named Margo I would break things and mouth off at people. The way my therapist and I took care of this was my therapist talking to me while I was in that memory piece explaining over and over again what is and isnt acceptable and at home I keep things like lots of cardboard and other items that I can rip up and create things out of while in that memory piece. I also keep a well stocked bookshelves and drawers with - contruction paper, loose leaf paper, note books, a ream of plain white paper, scissors, markers, pencils, pens, crayons, chalk, paints, sketch pads, color pencils, sharpener, stencils, assorted yarns, old magazines of all kinds, crochet hooks, knitting needles, coloring books, assorted colored and scented play doughs, relaxation music, and a cd player and head phones. No matter what memory piece I am in these items can be used for expressing what each memory/ momory piece is about.

Hi
I'm vicki and Anne sounds like me! I'm 14 too and I hated going to therapy and I tried to hurt us. Our T talked to me alot and let me vent and stuff. She told me she cared about what I did. I didn't like her at first. I really didn't like anybody. I think that the best thing to do is let Anne write or talk. I did alot of writing and that way our T was able to know what I was saying even if I didn't want to talk.
I hope this helps some. She can come and talk here too.
Vicki

Good question to ask! Maybe by sharing how the T doesn't "do" anything but talk with you to help, and challenging her to visit the T ...and speak her mind, she will feel more a part of the process.

The T can help with this, too. I agree with Vicki, above, in allowing and encouraging Anne to write... even to the T with how she doesn't like going and feels stuck doing so with the rest? And, does she feel comfortable enough to come here and post (does she already? I dont' know.)

I would wish you to be able to view her job differently. I really question if she wants to sabotage everything... as it looks to me like she might be a protector of sorts? Protecting others from feeling, or from not feeling... dealing with things others (including you?) might not want to?

Everyone in your system needs to feel understood, imo. I'm glad your communication is increasing. Feeling safe enough to talk is a good step, even if what you hear upsets you. (((safe hugs)))

I think Sky has a point about how you view Anne. I looked at Vicki as out to destroy the body, hurt us any way she could, was rebellious and I really didn't like her much at all. Then she started talking to T. She talked about her abuse and how she really tried to protect me over and over. She protects the littles with all she has and carries alot of pain inside her.

I have a very different view of her now that I have gotton to know her and what she has done and is doing for the body and the system. She still has issues of wanting to hurt herself, but talks about them first now instead of acting first and then saying she did it.

My thought is get to know Anne before you really judge her.
((((Safe hugs))))
w_i

Thank you! Everyone has really good suggestions. I've only been diagnosed for three months and it's still hard for me to believe what is going on. Feeling safe is bad enough, but this really gets confusing. Some of the alters do write and the little ones like to draw pictures. Some, from what I've been told, come out and do things that I don't know about. I think Ann would like to talk to everyone once she feels comfortable. I have no "control" over her actions right now but am working on working together. Thank you all so much for making me feel welcome and safe. No one has ever cared about me before, only what I was worth to them. Thank you Thank you!!