[SongBirdandDaisy]

Do I belong here? I don't belong anywhere else. No one wants to hear that I am dissociative and so they don't understand me or the others when I do dissociate. I have no one to talk to except my therapist. But I can't rely on him to keep me going 24hrs a day. I have to learn to help myself and that was why I came out on a limb and tried this place. I don't know how to "belong" to anything. I never did before. Am I doing this right? Things were so wonderful this morning and now everything crashed. I don't understand why. I just want to talk to someone.

[kimmydawn]

we're here and listening. you sure do belong here. you're understood here and we'll listen to what you need to say.

many of us understand DID and dissociation...and the experiences.

you're safe here.

KD

Im here on and off listening/reading and posting. One thing that helps me is I just post my first thoughts. Sometimes I tick people off by my being too honest and up front by my posts but with the ones I've ticked off comes many more friends that have let me know how much they like and understand my thoughts, problems and posts. I used to be worried every time I posted on websites about making people mad or triggering then to the point where I wasn't posting and things just boiled up. So the way I finally balanced this problem of mine is that I ignore the voices telling me not to tell and that I am doing something wrong and I just post from the top of my head so to speak and leave it up to the moderators to let me know when I have stepped over the lines of rules because that is what they are in those jobs for. If you don't recieve a pm from the mods then you are doing great according to the rules of the place and what I personally can see --

You are doing great.

So take a deep breath and let your fingers go typing all those thoughts howver they come out. It gets easier each time.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Thank you. I have a little girl alter, she's 11 and likes to talk with people. She doesn't have a name because then she can stay safe. She likes to come out and wants to know if she can talk with someone here? If she does, does she just talk? People think I'm childish whenshe comes out, they don't get it. They don't believe. That hurts me and the others because no one ever thought we were important except for one thing (we don't talk about that).

yea. if you get triggering into other memory pieces (alters means the same thing) its ok to keep talking (typing) while experiencing that memory. She's you at 11 so if you typed on a typewriter when you were 11 then that information is contained in that memory piece so there shouldn't be a problem with how to do it and at 11 you probably already knew how to read So write a note to yourself using the language of an 11 year old or words wrote by you in that memory piece you have found in journals, on pictures and so on to explain how to post and go for it and see what you can learn about yourself by reading what you post while in that memory.

It may take some help from your therapist in trying to add this new information to the memory content. I don't know how my therapist did it when we needed to stop the throwing things while in the Margo memories of mine but maybe your therapist can help with this. I know part of it was my therapist had to trigger me into the memory piece first and it took more than one time to do it in.

As for people not believing. Well a friend of mine told me one time she wished I could be a fly on the wall watching everyone in Mcdonalds when I get triggered into those memorys of my sliding on slides. Here I am a 43 yr old woman going throw Mcdonalds indoor playground of tubes and slides having a good old time while those watching have all sorts of reactions.. So then I was a bit self conscious and hated to go out in public, but then I got mad enough to not care about the remarks and odd looks and just went on my way and left them to deal with THEIR problem. I think about it this way - I've been this way all my life. The way I am is normal to me. Just because I now know what I am has a foot long label doesn't change that I've been this way all my life and people have their own preferences for sex, religion, politics and just like those that don't accept those choices if they don't like me because I sometime act different then thats their own problem with prejudice and so on. I cant change them but I can change how I react to what they are trying to put me through with their dislikes of me. The best way I found to deal with this is not reacting or acknoledge their own rediculas behavior. That in itself ticks the person trying to hurt me off because I am not reacting to their bait. so its kind of like that saying "what you say to me bounces off me and on to you - I throw it all to the wind and just be myself and let what others think bounce back onto themselves by not reacting. Works every time.