[XAutumnX]

Hello all,

I have suffered Dissociation for quite a few years but didn't know it was dissociation until last year. I also suffer from feeling of not being real (I know it has a name but I can't think of it).

Anyway I dissociate nearly every time I'm in my therapist's office and then I struggle to come back and sometimes it takes the whole day. When i leave the session I can't remember a single word that had been said which from my point of view is a waste of a session. I can feel when I'm about to dissociate however I don't know how to stop it from happening. I told my therapist once and she don't do much to help, she just tries to wrap the session up quicker and keeps asking me if I'm with her before letting me go. I don't think that's helpful as she isn't helping me prevent it (if you can).

So I was wondering how do you all keep yourself grounded and if you can't how do you snap out of it?

[crazylife]

My T waits until i seem sort of with it then gets me just jump around, shake my hands and stamp my feet (god knows what the office below must think) but it works for me, the only way i've found that helps so far. I get that whole feeling of not being real, it makes everything complicated. He has also had me focus on the chair and the ground but that didn't seem to help much. Your T should really be helping you with this or it may be the case she doesn't have the training/knowledge to help you but she should be doing something.
Good luck, hope you find a way.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by XAutumnX

Hello all,

I have suffered Dissociation for quite a few years but didn't know it was dissociation until last year. I also suffer from feeling of not being real (I know it has a name but I can't think of it).

Anyway I dissociate nearly every time I'm in my therapist's office and then I struggle to come back and sometimes it takes the whole day. When i leave the session I can't remember a single word that had been said which from my point of view is a waste of a session. I can feel when I'm about to dissociate however I don't know how to stop it from happening. I told my therapist once and she don't do much to help, she just tries to wrap the session up quicker and keeps asking me if I'm with her before letting me go. I don't think that's helpful as she isn't helping me prevent it (if you can).

So I was wondering how do you all keep yourself grounded and if you can't how do you snap out of it?

did you ask your therapist why she ends the session when you dissociate? when I asked my T's that did this their reply was that dissociating showed her she had to back off. a person dissociates when they feel triggered / retraumatized in therapy. they did not want to retraumatize me, make me worse. therapy is supposed to help not harm.

I have many ways I ground myself...

go for a ride in my canoe around the lake,
skiing / snowshoeing
scented candles
aromatic foods (love apples and cinnamon)
call my therapist
watch an action packed movie

grounding is just doing things you enjoy and that are calming to you. these things and others are what I enjoy and is calming to me.

[Claritytoo]

When I have gotten into a dissociated state during therapy my therapist will offer me sour candy to bring me back. It does work. Anything with the senses. A few weeks ago I got caught out and couldn't get back in. I panicked and called my therapist she told me to get ice and hold it in my hands until I felt better. It worked. For years I used to punch walls and doors to break out of a very negative and aggressive mood. I didn't understand it than but I do now. When I would punch the wall my hand would feel like I broke it. I would feel relief from the mood but I never put it together. Punching walls and doors caused me great pain that I live with today. Self injury is not the answer. Now that I understand what I was trying to do by punching the wall I have stopped doing it. I have stopped hurting myself. I realize now that I am just trying to switch. So now I will get sour candy or bitter food and it has the same affect without hurting me.

[crazylife]

I'll have to try that one. Thanks for posting that.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

did you ask your therapist why she ends the session when you dissociate? when I asked my T's that did this their reply was that dissociating showed her she had to back off. a person dissociates when they feel triggered / retraumatized in therapy. they did not want to retraumatize me, make me worse. therapy is supposed to help not harm.

I have many ways I ground myself...

go for a ride in my canoe around the lake,
skiing / snowshoeing
scented candles
aromatic foods (love apples and cinnamon)
call my therapist
watch an action packed movie

grounding is just doing things you enjoy and that are calming to you. these things and others are what I enjoy and is calming to me.

I am still confused by that. My therapist will also back off if she thinks I have switched. I pushed John out at a session so she could talk with one of us. John was scared to death and my therapist kept talking to me and not John. I didn't understand why until you posted this. I know I asked her why she didn't talk with John but I don't remember what she said. I just remember being annoyed that she had an opportunity to talk with one of us and didn't. It makes sense that if I switch something must have triggered me. But how is it that therapists talk to alters during therapy. Right now I am very confused. I am trying to figure this out but I can't. Who talks to the doctor? It is almost never me.

[XAutumnX]

Thank you so much for the replies, I have never asked my T why she ends the sessions early but mainly because I feel very Anxious around her and uncomfortable.

You see where I have literally just came out of a long severe depressive time (6 years) I don't know what I like to do anymore or what I enjoy. I am literally starting over and it is damn hard to start from scratch.

I have heard of the term Alter on here but I'm not sure what it means. Does it mean like when I'm in therapy and dissociate my T isn't talking to me but my Alter?

I apologise I'm still new to this whole thing.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Claritytoo

I am still confused by that. My therapist will also back off if she thinks I have switched. I pushed John out at a session so she could talk with one of us. John was scared to death and my therapist kept talking to me and not John. I didn't understand why until you posted this. I know I asked her why she didn't talk with John but I don't remember what she said. I just remember being annoyed that she had an opportunity to talk with one of us and didn't. It makes sense that if I switch something must have triggered me. But how is it that therapists talk to alters during therapy. Right now I am very confused. I am trying to figure this out but I can't. Who talks to the doctor? It is almost never me.

I cant speak for your therapist but with mine it was because the agency she worked with had a rule that she had to work on my problems not on causing me to force my alters out to please and talk to her. forcing alters out just to please and talk to the therapist can do more harm than good with some people with DID.

my therapist also didnt want to get arrested for causing me to have false memories and fake alters or switching into alters just to please her, have my alters talk with her. NY has rules about therapists causing false memory syndrome and mental disorders / mental problems in their clients.

only your treatment provider can answer why they do what they do with you.

suggeston - maybe this would be a good topic to talk with your therapist, and ask her why they do things with you the way they do. you might even consider letting your therapist know you are not always aware of what goes on in therapy, and make a plan with them to address your concern of what happens when you are not aware, like my therapist has done by taping my sessions with her.