need to unload . . . triggering

i am sorry that I/we have not been here lately.
having sasha has brought so many changes for us that we feel like we have been in a ping pong game and not knowing where i am going to land.
we had a T appointment about our casemanagement. It was so loud . . . .
As many of you know the local mential health has not been very helpful for us. In the past three years I have had to endure the same type of abuse that made us this way.
I remember when I first went to them when I was hurt to the point that I was having young alter coming out to take the abuse and they just told me that I should not worry about what people were saying about me. But it was not just talk. I was the subject of a sick joke that turned into a three year living heck.
i even had friends that said that they were worried about us because I had alters trying to harm us but when I brought up the fact that others out side the body where hurting us and why were they not helping us to protect the body . . .
we were just told that we were not seeing things clearly . . . .
It was during the T appoinment that we just lost it. . .
She looked at us and said that we survivied even knowing that we could still not go any where with out sasha. . . .
To that we told her we must have learned the true meaning of forgiveness . .
It has nothing to do with the other person, it is the ability of giving up hope and dreams of the things you wished for and accepting what is.

coming too this town was the the hope and the dream of healing and watching our son grow. but it was not ment to be like the fairry god story. Due to the miss understanding of how people see DID. I am greatful to the fact that we did have good times with my son but so mad about how so many people were allowed to hurt us all because They had a clear understanding that no one would beleive in us. They had mential health behind them and no matter what I did to try to get others to believe in us. It was when i refused to go to work anymore and wait until I got SSD and Hud housing (plus Sasha thank The man above)

it was during this that I looked at her and it came to us. here we were the subject of lies and hate. many people clamed we were the deman posesed but in stead it was our abusers. they had replaced the very people that made us who we were and most of them were church going folks.
I still beleive in the man/woman upstairs but I now also believe in the fact that the human speces are the only ones in the animal kingdom that can get off from anothers pain. AS well that as long as a lie contains 1/10 truth other will use it and believe in it to cause another pain.

In the last few days, we have been able to confront our abusers and tell them off. We have even been able to tell people to leave us alone and know now that there are those that believe in us. But most of all Sasha is helping us by keeping the littleones safe and not letting the bad peoples near us. She is now 80lbs and is able to tell the badies from the goodies!

The thing that we are still dealing with is that we know that we can do more when we are not being hurt and abuse . . . but Why keep trying when it only takes one person hurting us then we cant funtion within the generial public?

Hi anderson et sasha et.All.
Hello everyone. Not sure what to say other than we are very sorry the health system often is as harmful as the abusers...but in sneakier way because the body is not harmed...just the heart and mind which can be hard to see and hear. We are glad you are still trying. We too are easily hurt. May being able to write how angry and frustrated you all are provide you with a lot of relief. One person in the world understands other than those inside...we understand.

Anderson Sasha Et Al......

I have been harmed in the past more in some ways by the supposed health care system than by my abusers. My first health care abuser was the first one to identify that I had MPD. That was one H**LL of a nightmare. Even my last T was no cake walk at the end.

Many of my Psych Docs didn't even believe in it. They only treated my other "issues". Made for interesting disasters when the wrong people were taking the wrong meds.

The next bit is ONLY MY EXPERIENCE. Finally I created one person and one person only to deal with the health care professionals until I found a therapist I could really trust. It worked for me. I can't say it would or will work for anybody else.
Once I had that T taht I could trust I let the others out slowly. and the real work began. It was worth the wait and learning to work the system.

I hope this helps. It hurts when the very people that are supposed to help harm.

((((((((((((((((anderson/Sasha)))))))))))))))

Thank you both,
We are doing better , even able to ignor more of the buttons that use to drive us nutts.
It just got us that a T that is suppose to help us recover from abuse still pushes us to be near those that we are not comfortable with.
The cool thing that we are only have to see them once a month. The T was pushing us to see her more often and we told her NO!
We are hopiing to get somethings lined up so that when we leave here that we can truely have a freash start and not worry about our safety. having sasha has given us so much and this time when we move we all agree that we will not try to work in the generil public again. we love our son and are so greatfull that he graduates this year and turning 18! Yee Haa! This time we both can start freash with hope! and