[Sprite~]

I'm going to my therapist twice a week and a DBT group once a week.
I have a profession that I'd like to pursue, but am struggling to get myself
together in regards to it.

I'm wondering if you work, volunteer, go to school or have a career; and
how you manage to keep up with it as well as everyday things as well. (bills, laundry, dishes, therapy...)

Any tips or advice would be great! I would love to get back out in the world (after my confirming diagnosis with DID) but am afraid I'll dissociate and ruin everything for myself.

Thanks....

[mommyof2girls]

I myself, do hold down a full time job as well as have 2 children and try to take care of a household.....Some days are easier then others....I don't know, somehow I just manage to do it.....No one else is gonna do it for me ya know.....

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Sprite~

I'm going to my therapist twice a week and a DBT group once a week.
I have a profession that I'd like to pursue, but am struggling to get myself
together in regards to it.

I'm wondering if you work, volunteer, go to school or have a career; and
how you manage to keep up with it as well as everyday things as well. (bills, laundry, dishes, therapy...)

Any tips or advice would be great! I would love to get back out in the world (after my confirming diagnosis with DID) but am afraid I'll dissociate and ruin everything for myself.

Thanks....

Yes I work. my alters also had their own jobs. my alters were the kind that had their own ways to be, they all had their own jobs/purposes. that included what went on when I was a child and adult. I had alters that played, alters that did the dishes, alters that made the beds, alters that read books, alters that wrote, alters that skied, alters that did the laundry, alters that did the shopping....

Everyones system is set up how ever they need it to be, the main purpose for alters is to do things you cant handle so you probably have alters somewhere inside that do these things for you. it may take some time to get everyone working together so that your housework isnt lagging behind everything else. talk with your treatment provider. they can help you learn about your system of alters and which ones have been responsible for housework when you cant handle it on your own. then they can help you find a way to get everyone working together.

[Sprite~]

Amandalouise~ Thank you for your response.

I do know that when I struggle to get the housework done, it leaves me exhausted to contemplate taking on more. But I have a strong desire to contribute by way of my profession.

When we work together, it makes 'keeping up at home' much easier when we have a "regular" routine and each helps out.

I will continue to talk to my T and discover who could be most helpful and with what aspect of my life. I'm still learning about each of us at this time.

It's just so inspiring to hear of those who contribute and keep up with the home, that I was hoping to gain some tips on how it's done.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Sprite~

Amandalouise~ Thank you for your response.

I do know that when I struggle to get the housework done, it leaves me exhausted to contemplate taking on more. But I have a strong desire to contribute by way of my profession.

When we work together, it makes 'keeping up at home' much easier when we have a "regular" routine and each helps out.

I will continue to talk to my T and discover who could be most helpful and with what aspect of my life. I'm still learning about each of us at this time.

It's just so inspiring to hear of those who contribute and keep up with the home, that I was hoping to gain some tips on how it's done.

tips on how its done.. well how it was done for me it worked the same as if I encountered any other triggers that caused me to dissociate. if I was triggered by an abuser I would dissociate into the alter that wasnt afraid of that abuser. if making the bed was frustrating and triggering me then I dissociated and an alter would do it for me.. each one of my alters had their own jobs and purposes that took care of what ever I couldnt handle.

[Sprite~]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

tips on how its done.. well how it was done for me it worked the same as if I encountered any other triggers that caused me to dissociate. if I was triggered by an abuser I would dissociate into the alter that wasnt afraid of that abuser. if making the bed was frustrating and triggering me then I dissociated and an alter would do it for me.. each one of my alters had their own jobs and purposes that took care of what ever I couldnt handle.

I'm newly diagnosed and am working on finding out who is in my 'system' and what their purpose is.
I really appreciate your insight into it

[likewater]

I work. I think of work as my safe place. So if i'm thinking of harming myself, i go to work. And i vi e myself rewards for going when i dont feel like it.

[Sprite~]

Seems like things click for you there, Likewater. That's fantastic! What 'types' of rewards to you give yourself? I am good at forgetting that part.

I find, sometimes when I'm on a roll with work, that I will (just out of the blue it seems) get a strong resistence to not go. It's like everything, every ounce of energy I have goes towards emotionally struggling to get there. I haven't figured out why yet. Why I'd rather stay home miserable or sick, than just to go and do something I typically enjoy.

That's the most difficult part that I struggle with.

I'm a consiencious worker, some days I just can't give it anything; never mind my 'best'.

[WantingtoHeal]

I'm not so sure I'm the best person to respond to this, since I have recently been asked to take a leave of absence from my job, but I have in the past had a very stressful full-time job, been a mom, wife (now divorced), and kept up with everything - somehow. I'm not sure how, and now, I'm realizing that I have been most likely (possibly) dissociating the whole time.

I just remember hearing in my head, "Just keep going. Just keep going." "You can only do one thing at a time." "just one thing at a time" "Just keep on going" "You can do it." And somehow it all got done. Probably not very well, though. I work in a critical care unit where things can go badly very quickly and it's a very fast paced environment where every little detail has to be noticed and monitored. I've seen a lot and been triggered and felt my body drop, but just kept hearing that voice and my body would keep doing the job.

If you have a comforting part, that is very helpful. Also, being kind to yourself, allowing yourself and realizing that you don't have to be perfect is very important. It's okay to not do the dishes sometimes. That's hard for me.
There was a scene from the movie Parenthood about a roller coaster being compared to the ups and downs of life. I've used that a lot - seems to comfort me. Sometimes I imagine being on a roller coaster or some ride that is relaxing for me and I flow along with the pain, fear, and anxiety of daily life - hoping and knowing somehow that there will be an up somewhere in the future.

It is exciting that you are at this point. It must feel strange, but nice in a way and scary, too. I wish you well.

[Sprite~]

WantingtoHeal~
Thanks for your reply!

It sounds like you've had your hands full with the critical care unit and all your other responsibilities. Congratulations for being able to do it~

I do have a part that is quite reasonable and comforting. Though, when stressed, that's not always the one to come out for me...guess I will have to work on that.

Best of luck to you in your endevours, as well. I noticed that you, too, are new to PC. Welcome!!

It is a bit like an adventure, and is sometime scarey and sometimes rewarding to be discovering so much about myself.

I'd love to have a part-time job for now to fit in there as well

[wanttoheal]

I used to have a job that was pretty much built for me. My boss knew about my dissociation and really worked with me to ensure I was safe and that other parts were distracted when needed, etc. And in return, I was able to do a lot of work and be very productive. It was the best job I ever had.

When the company closed down, I took another job. In my mind, I just assumed that because the previous job went so well, I could do any job in the same line. I quickly found out that that was not so for me.

I was triggered constantly, lost a lot of time, was basically a mess. But even so, the job got done and my boss thought I was doing really well. Inside my head it was horrible though, even though I apparently was doing the job and well. By the time I would come home, even if I lost the day at work, I would lose the evening at home. It was a blessing when I got laid off from that job, to be honest.

Now I work mostly from home with a meeting with a client here and there outside of my home. It's with the same boss that I worked for with the first job, doing the same type of stuff (no company anymore, but we still get some work in). It's kind of in between the other two jobs as far as success. Being home, other parts of me tend to go off and do their own thing, leaving the work undone (I guess they don't even know there is work, not sure). But on the other hand, I am less triggered overall and the pressure to stay present all the time is less.

Before that first job, I never thought I could work a full time job. And after the last job, I never thought I could do it again. I've learned though that it all just depends on the environment and the knowledge and understanding of the work place.

I'm very capable of working, but I'm not capable of working just any job. I wonder if that is the same for everyone. If we could all find jobs that had the right environment for each of us, I think we could all succeed.

Find something you love to do. Then the rest will fall into place. Good luck with your journey.

[justusall]

I have found at different times that we could only cope with part time work. There has also been times when we couldnt work at all. So be kind to yourselves and only take on as much as you all can handle - it is not very good being at work and feeling out of control. We are lucky that our grownup is a teacher of 5 year olds. Some of us go to school and love it. But there have been times when our little ones cant cope and have been triggered. It is so worthwhile spending time on healing - looking after all of you - we dont like stress. Take care

[Sprite~]

Originally Posted by wanttoheal

I'm very capable of working, but I'm not capable of working just any job. I wonder if that is the same for everyone. If we could all find jobs that had the right environment for each of us, I think we could all succeed.

Find something you love to do. Then the rest will fall into place. Good luck with your journey.

That definitely sounds a lot like me. As I speak for myself, I think there is a lot to be said for finding the right kind of work, and the appropriate environment to thrive!

Thanks for your insight...