And I have lost it again.....

I guess I should start out explaining what I have lost. I have lost reality again. I have locked myself into my head and I can't get out. Literally and figuratively.

It is like life has no consequences even though I know that they are there. I understand what will happen but it doesn't feel like it is going to happen to me. It feels like it is going to happen to some other girl. Someone who isn't really there, and who won't feel a thing.

I want to find it but the only way I can do that is SIing and even that leaves me gone. I sit there watching the world go by but I'm not there. I want to be. I'm can't feel a thing, but over the whole thing a melancholy-fog that engulfs me and doesn't let me out.

I don't know what to do, but I guess this post was just me venting and seeing if anyone can relate. Thanks

~Lillyleaf~

I can totally relate. It sounds like you're really ungrounded right now. It's a dark world when that happens. It's like your feet aren't touching the ground. Like you're hovering above it.

I hope that you can find a way to get grounded so you can stop hurting yourself.

Im a bit confused...

you posted -

if you are locked inside your head how are you able to post?

reason I ask is because posting is proof you can pull yourself out of your head. if you could not it would be an alter posting not you posting and they would be referring to you as a she, he or your given name.

second your wording suggests to me that you placed yourself in your head voluntarily. to me that means you can voluntarily come back out (you being able to do something outside your head like posting here is proof of your ability to bring yourself back out of your head when you want to.)

I have gone back and read your past posts. you have posted extensively that you are going through depression right now.

you probably already know this but depression does make people feel the things you have posted here -

I have felt the same way you do when ever I am having my depression problems with seasonal depression and bipolar disorder. my treatment providers and I fix this with adjustment / changes to my medications.

my suggestion- if I remember right you are on medications for your depression problems... contact your treatment provider, they can change or adjust your medications so that you will feel less depressed and that will help your dissociative like symptoms. If you are not on medications contact your medical doctor. they can get you treated for your depression which will help your dissociative like symptoms that you posted here.