why am I here.. DID, rhetorical and otherwise

I rarely start threads mostly because I deal with my dissociative issues in -

therapy,
using the this and other sites pming option with those that are going through the same issues I am.
I have also joined some social groups here and elsewhere that help me to address my issues..

Admittedly this doesnt give you all a chance to understand why Im here, how come I dont post any problems looking for help myself..

So I thought maybe it would be good to have a thread where we can all answer our own questions about...

why are we here?
Why are/were our alters here?
what helps us to survive?
what do you do here?

.....

why are we here?

rhetorically and otherwise I believe theres a reason for everything. somewhere some one some how has a purpose for me. this purpose changes with each stage of my life... right now I believe its to help others.

in relation to this site and boards....I came to psych central looking for companionship (people who were going through the same things I was), understanding / help with integration issues, my therapist thought this place would be a good place to look for these things.

I did not find people going through integration issues here. When I did not find those things I was going to leave this site, but others here on psych central asked me to stay.

now I am here primarily to help others. there is a saying to help others is to help one self.

why are/were my alters here?

because things happened to me that I could not handle as a child, because I needed help dealing with those things that were my alters jobs and purposes. My alters have all been integrated / merged together with me when they were not integrated they had many purposes/jobs. some took care of things like cooking, cleaning... the household.. some took care of the finances, some took care of work related issues, some took care of relationship issues, some took care of emotions...

what helps me to survive?

my wife
my pets
my hobbies
my therapist
my psychiatrist
my physician
my neurologist
my work
boating on the lake and other positive coping tools
the internet ...

what do you do here on psych central? why?

I read the posts
I reply to the posts
I pm those that pm me
I reach out to others with the same issues I have by pm
I read and reply and socialize in social group members.

Why?
I read the posts because sometimes they make me think about myself and how far I have come on days when I feel like for lack of other useful wording - crap.

I read and reply to others posts because they are going through what I have and my posting what I have gone through may help them and those reading, get through it too.

I pm those that pm me because they want my opinions and help. I cant act as a therapist here but I can give them my opinions and whether I went through what they have.

I reach out to others by pm and in social groups for my problems because

it upsets other members when I post my integration issues on the boards. most of the people on the boards are dealing with before integration issues like being diagnosed, and other preintegration / dissociative issues. talking about integration issues sometimes can get quite graphic and triggering for non integrated people..

example right now Im going through some sexual issues related to an alter that is now integrated. rhetorical question ..

how many non integrated people here on the boards can say they are ready and able to read and talk about graphic sexual posting in the context of alters and hosts integration issues?

very few if any on the boards right.. so I take my integration issues to other avenues like pming. social grouping, chatting on psych central and other sites.

some people use only the chat options here
some people only post on the boards
some people only use the pm option
some people prefer using just the social groups options
and others prefer a combination of any or all of the above.

I have found that with me and my issues sometimes its better to pm with those that are going through or have already gone through what we have. we all use psych central in ways that best fit what we need, for me its integration issues and to help others.

Your insights have helped me in the past. Especially when I was first diagnosed with DID. Even if I didn't agree with something you said, it still gave me an opportunity see my concerns in a different light. Not everyone is going to agree here. Like anywhere else. But I think most of us have been helped by your insights.

your posts have been insightful and helpful to me too thanks.

Thanks AmandaLouise. I wonder what prompted you to post a thread about this?

Why am I here?
I am no longer in therapy but relate to many of the posts and issues discussed on the forums. I consider myself to be mostly 'healed', mostly integrated, but am open to the possiblity that other issues may arise and drive me to seek more therapy in the future.

Why are/were my alters here?
As a result of traumatic experiences throughout my childhood I was unable to follow the normal developmental path and integrate the various aspects of my psyche. This caused me to develop 'dissociative identity disorder', and my personality remained fragmented in many different dissociative states until I underwent over 10 years of therapy beginning in my late teens. Like any other person with DID I had dissociated identity states that each dealt with particular aspects of life.

What helps me to survive?
I don't consider myself to be a 'survivor' and I don't have to struggle to 'survive'. I actually really dislike the term 'survivor' and all its associated words.
I have become very skilled at nurturing and sustaining myself and I embrace my life in all its entireity. My history is now only that - my history.

What do I do here?
I read threads on specific forums and respond whenever I have something to say that I think might be of value to someone, and the time to say it.

why did I start this thread on this topic....I saw my psychiatrist shortly before I came on here. I disclosed to him I was visiting and posting to places like this and he asked me why, what do I get out of it, what do I hope others get out of it...those kinds of questions that I just couldn't get out of my head so I wrote out what I was thinking. At first I wasnt going to post it, just something I was writing for me, then I got to thinking about how fitting some of these why questions he asked me would fit here.

Thanks for sharing part of you and your "why's" with us.

Why are we here?

I am always interested in connecting with people who are going through the same things that I am. I feel that it helps the healing process for myself. Perhaps my knowledge that I've gained thus far can help someone else, and theirs could possibly help me as well. That's probably not the only reasons, but it's the primary ones of course.

Why are/were my alters here?

I've had my alters since I was a child. I had such a hard time finding myself after the things I had gone through. I was mute for months at a time, and I was breaking apart as a child. They saved me, but now that I am older, I've been slowly merging. Of course that didn't occur without problems arising, but I'm finally able to deal with some of the things relating to my childhood.

What helps me to survive?

Family
Friends
My boyfriend
Music
Drawing
Writing
Reading
Communicating with similar people
Remembering that I'm alive, and that life is precious

What do you do here on Psych Central?

I'm new, but I want to meet similar minds to my own thinking. I want to get help, and to help others. I've mastered things, and still struggle with things as well. Getting in deep depressions, I sometimes forget that I do still need to socialize with the outside world.

Why?

When I had(Still have, but I have it under control) Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I went to a forum much like this one and received help. That help was absolutely priceless, and I cannot give enough credit to that community for my recovery. I went from an agoraphobic person ridden with anxiety, to a semi-social person who's able to do anything and go anywhere. Still working on the social bit, haha