[insideout]

How do you know for sure if you have an alter? Do you record yourself?

What if someone loses track of time, people look at them like theyre crazy, like they are thinking, why are you talking to me you don't even like me.

They feel a presence of someone. Feel that person take them over, wake up not remembering.
Neighbors ask why they were out all night, saying their car was gone, but they thought they were in their bed, sleeping.

What if they hear that presence calling their name... what if you can't see them anymore, but can feel them there, watching you.

how do you know for sure?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by insideout

How do you know for sure if you have an alter? Do you record yourself?

What if someone loses track of time, people look at them like theyre crazy, like they are thinking, why are you talking to me you don't even like me.

They feel a presence of someone. Feel that person take them over, wake up not remembering.
Neighbors ask why they were out all night, saying their car was gone, but they thought they were in their bed, sleeping.

What if they hear that presence calling their name... what if you can't see them anymore, but can feel them there, watching you.

how do you know for sure?

Originally Posted by insideout

How do you know for sure if you have an alter?

The only way to know for sure is to contact your treatment providers. they can do tests that can rule out all the physical and mental health issues that are similar to dissociative symptoms like figuring out if you have alters and if so what kind they are or whether they are for example hallucinations, delusions or other physical or mental health issues that resemble having alters.

Originally Posted by insideout

Do you record yourself?

no i dont record myself, i learned I had alters when I went through diagnostic testing with a psychiatrist..the psychiatrist talked with at least two alters that resided with in me, by doing that he was able to say I fit the diagnostic criteria for having DID and having two alters that fit the diagnostic criteria.

I am in therapy and have been since I was a child, my therapists sometimes did record me and my present therapist does record my therapy sessions with her.

Originally Posted by insideout

What if someone loses track of time, people look at them like theyre crazy, like they are thinking, why are you talking to me you don't even like me.

I lost time all the time. no one thought I was crazy. they just thought like many normal people I dont have a good memory. I never talked to people I didnt know, for me it was the other way around, people who I didnt know were coming up to me talking to me and I would find a nice way to say something like "Im sorry what was your name again, Im horrible with names?" and they tell me their name and where and when I met them.

Originally Posted by insideout

What if they hear that presence calling their name... what if you can't see them anymore, but can feel them there, watching you.

I never heard my alters call my name, the voices I heard was like being in a crowd where everyone is talking at once but doing so muffled like where I couldnt figure out the words.

I never saw my alters and my alters couldnt see me. they lived inside of me and used my eyes to see with..just like other people use their own eyes to see with, they cant see their whole body unless looking in the mirror. the only way my alters could see the body they were living in was by looking in the mirror. most saw their own image of who they were, what they looked like, not mine.. example I wear make up but when I switched into an alter that didnt wear make up they would remove the make up and look like their self make up free, I wear contacts but most of my alters wear glasses, some wear wire rimmed glasses others wear plastic colored glasses. each one of my alters had their own way to be, when they looked at this body they saw their self not me.

I never felt my alters there. I didnt know I had DID until after I was diagnosed. and even then I never "felt" their presence in any way. I knew they had been in control of the body by finding a new dress in the closet, new jewelry on the bureau, stuff like that.

my suggestion - contact your treatment providers they will tell you whether you have alters or not and how to go about fixing all these things that are happening to you.

[insideout]

thank u so much for the reply, you are helping me understand more about DID and giving me some things to certainly think about. I wonder if the fact that I can feel her presence can help me determine if in fact she is me... I have been leaving at nighttime when I thought I was sleeping. I have spent money I didnt remember spending... burned bridges with people, colored my hair, without remembering. i find it disturbing because i dont want other people to notice, but i have virtually no friends IRL. my neighbors are aware and they love me anyway. It feels great beyond words to have people love me even though I switch between 2 personalities. i'll talk to my pdoc. if anyone else can share their experiences or advice, id love to hear.

We sort of always knew, ever since Kindergarten, that we were more than one. We thought everyone was that way though. Even our dolls and stuffed animals had more than one name. And the core person would hear us talking sometimes. We also switched a lot... but I am not sure how to explain. Stuff that went WAY beyond mood swings or just feeling different. Also included losing time, people knowing us by different names, meeting a lot of people who knew us but we didn't know (they had been introduced to another inside person). We also hear each other and talk to each other. But, I am not sure if this is a very good reply, because we've always known and this is all we ever knew.However we were officially diagnosed about...hm... 10 years ago?after a whole bunch of testing with a psyche that took a couple of months. Definitely get yourself to a pdoc who can give you some tests.

[Bmee2]

i wonder all the time if something else is not wrong with me. i do not see anyone else. i do hear my name being called but it is not really directed towards me...it is more like a conversation about someone with the same name as me. And it does sound like being in a busy train station....lots of conversations some you can make out clearer than others...most are not directed to you.

[insideout]

Originally Posted by Bmee2

i wonder all the time if something else is not wrong with me. i do not see anyone else. i do hear my name being called but it is not really directed towards me...it is more like a conversation about someone with the same name as me. And it does sound like being in a busy train station....lots of conversations some you can make out clearer than others...most are not directed to you.

I relate to the "train station"; I call it a crowded subway... but same thing.

I don't see my self states on the outside. They exist inside of myself only.

[insideout]

Originally Posted by LydiaB

I don't see my self states on the outside. They exist inside of myself only.

I like your terminology; "self states". Sounds better for me to cope with and make sense of.

[Crew]

How to truly know if your multiple or have alter's? Go to a trauma therapist not necessarily ones that know about MPD or DID but ones that know what trauma mean.

I was given tests and professionally diagnosed. I hope your going to a therapist.
Just try not to diagnose self as I know how hard it is not to.

Hope this helped, Crew

[Sapphire2012]

Hi, it's good you have been able to share what you're going through on the forum. I was just wondering what it feels like when you return from having been your alter? My partner is diagnosed with schizophrenia but I believe he has alters, sometimes he talks in a different accent, dresses differently, walks differently, I mean he is actually a different guy but he hasn't been diagnosed with DID but I wondered if this is similar to what happens in your experience. Sometimes he doesn't remember how he has behaved or what he's said. He's in hospital at the moment but they haven't made any mention of another diagnosis and I haven't said anything as I'm sure he wouldn't thank me if they give him an additional label. Any thoughts?

[insideout]

The people who know me that will tell me about my "episodes" or "states" say that they could never get bored with me cuz I'm always a different person.
I have gone out driving, have had boyfriends I didn't remember about half of the time of the relationship going on. Like all of a sudden my x boyfriend would be at my house chillin on my porch waiting for me to get home and say something like hey babe, how was your day. And I would freak out and yell telling him to get the F off my property that I would call the cops because we are not together. And he would tell me we are... and show me love letters I wrote and receipts from dinner the night before. He put up with my craziness for a couple years. Then I broke up with him for the 35,978th time. lol

meet people for the first time, at least twice.
buy things.
color my hair.

once in a while i have felt someone overcome me then remember nothing... but lately I dont even know if Im switching or not. People are just telling me (without me even asking) that I am doing it.

[likewater]

I'm just very forgetful and lose time. I hear voices inside my head. I know some of them and some i dont. Sometimes when i talk it's
not me choosing words. Like i am in backseat of car i guess. I get a lot of migraines. Things are never where i left them.

[such is life...]

Originally Posted by insideout

How do you know for sure if you have an alter? Do you record yourself?

What if someone loses track of time, people look at them like theyre crazy, like they are thinking, why are you talking to me you don't even like me.

They feel a presence of someone. Feel that person take them over, wake up not remembering.
Neighbors ask why they were out all night, saying their car was gone, but they thought they were in their bed, sleeping.

What if they hear that presence calling their name... what if you can't see them anymore, but can feel them there, watching you.

how do you know for sure?

I was diagnosed with every thing in the world... most of the time if parts in my System " knew " that the TX or psychiatrist wouldn't believe , we would not switch; one doctor saw us for 6 years before we let him see a switch...any way some times my alters will introduce themselves in my dreams,sometime if I hear a new " voice" in my head I would ask Internally" whats your name?"... then wait for a response....some times I will leave out a note pad with a question for an alter who is shy,mostly kid parts. Like some one else posted It is in the eyes...It's like this one alter will be out and that "alter" comes to the front of the mind and that alter is now looking out of the eyes of the body, this alter has their own way of thinking..etc... then when there is a switch the alter who is " out" (It's hard to explain) "steps back" and the new alter comes forward and now he/she is looking out of the body's eyes. Most of the time with me my alters ( when I hear them in my head) are "felt/heard in different parts of the brain...sort of like what ever that part of the brain does is what those alters do...artist, well spoken, a mean alter ,aggressive, good at math,music , speech etc...I hear some "of my people" (that's what I call my alters) on the left side,some on the right side some in the back of my head (brain) and for some reason most of my little ones/kid parts are in the front of my brain/head. And most all of my people see themselves in the mirror not the body some times we will get a gimps of the body it's weird.... hope I haven't confused you...I have lived with d.i.d all my life hahaha I thought every body had their own "people". PS it is scary when you loose time, and find things that you can't remember buying...but I think that most people with d.i.d figure out how to get along in the " real world and real people"
Keep your chin up and keep asking question, keep seeking until you get the answers your looking for...your on the right track just being her and asking questions Later,Kim

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Sapphire2012

Hi, it's good you have been able to share what you're going through on the forum. I was just wondering what it feels like when you return from having been your alter? My partner is diagnosed with schizophrenia but I believe he has alters, sometimes he talks in a different accent, dresses differently, walks differently, I mean he is actually a different guy but he hasn't been diagnosed with DID but I wondered if this is similar to what happens in your experience. Sometimes he doesn't remember how he has behaved or what he's said. He's in hospital at the moment but they haven't made any mention of another diagnosis and I haven't said anything as I'm sure he wouldn't thank me if they give him an additional label. Any thoughts?

alters with schizophrenia are similar for some people and different for others..

example my alters with those I was co conscious with, I felt how ever my alters were - angry, sad, ...

someone I know that has schizophrenia describes her alters as feeling very angry.

I never literally saw my alters in my mind nor out. another person who I know has schizophrenia describes her alters as an apparition (appearing in front of her, to the side of her, behind her taunting her, attacking her thoughts and actions)

everyone is different even among those with schizophrenia. the only way you will know how your partner perceives his alters is by asking him and his treatment providers.

there is a schizophrenia forum here http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=31 that can help you understand that mental disorder better but understand how mental disorders affect someone is different for everyone. only your partner and his treatment providers know how it affects him.

[mega54]

I was encouaraged to keep a journal of when I had headaches. I resented that because it meant I actually had to feel the head aches. While I was doing that my daughter was doing something I veiwed as harmful. I was struggling to find a way to get her not to do theactivity I was worried about. Boom, I got a headache thinking about her problem. After getting the headache, mydaughter's activity was not something to worry about; I saw it as an opperttunituy for her to learn. What she wanted to do would hurt her, but she would learn from the pain, and I had no need to do anything. What I am trying to describe is that I switched to an alter with a very different point of view. This made the fact that I had alters very plain to me. It explained lost time. It exolained why I/we were always very evasive about things. (It was better to avoid proclaiming alike or dislike, so that people could not say , "but I thought you said......" when you switched and your opinion changed.
For a time we had a buletine board where we shared stuff that who ever was out ought to know. A very minamalist form of co-conscousness. We/I did not want to become "one."
That has stopped, probably due to stress. We are seing all kinds of Red flags warning us. We will have to reduce stress (probably not an option) or creat a new way of sharing info and of being kinder to eachother (sharing time more and trusting each other more).
Writing this has clarified my/our thinking about what has gone on.