What if I am just an alter? like me, the one who is in control the most?

Wouldnt that mean that I would have to dissapear some day

[(JD)]

NO! When alters integrate no one goes away... but the whole is comprised of everyone, as it once was...is again... different, yes, but like everyone is when they grow older.

Some parts of you might change roles on the way to integration (if that is what your system chooses to do, some ppl with DID choose not to integrate.) While someone might have a part that fights physically... that part might become the one who raises red flags for ppl the system doesn't like (rather than fight.) That kind of change would be good, right?

But no one has to disappear, no one "dies", and no one has to worry that they are "just" an alter, imo. Each part of a person is important! TC

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
_Sky said:
NO! When alters integrate no one goes away... but the whole is comprised of everyone, as it once was...is again... different, yes, but like everyone is when they grow older.

Some parts of you might change roles on the way to integration (if that is what your system chooses to do, some ppl with DID choose not to integrate.) While someone might have a part that fights physically... that part might become the one who raises red flags for ppl the system doesn't like (rather than fight.) That kind of change would be good, right?

But no one has to disappear, no one "dies", and no one has to worry that they are "just" an alter, imo. Each part of a person is important! TC

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thanks I appreciate that. Im kinda new to all this stuff so it kinda had me worried that I might dissapear or somethin.

I guess thats true I mean the others are really no less me than I am, right?

No my memory pieces that were known as Darlene, Louise, Sunny, Galye and so on are all still there. The only difference is they are now just like a normal memory. all I have to do is think about math and I know any thoughts on math used to be stored in my unconscious level under the file (alter) name of Darlene. I will never loose those memories the brain stores memories forever. The only way I will ever loose a memory forever is if something like a car accident or I get hit in the head so bad that my brain cells die. memories are forever even if they are in pieces. in fact the brain automatically stores memories in pieces according to our senses (eyes, nose, mouth, ears, touch and feelings) Then when you think about something the brain automatically puts it back in order so you have the whole memory. Well because we were abused those pieces of memories are sroted in the unconscious level and when we get upset we act them out without knowing we are doing in. once a person remembers (integration is the process of remembering) that memory is automatically stored in the conscious level just like a normal memory. Any time I think about any of those pieces of memeorys, that used to be stored at the unconscious level and I acted them out that are now stored just like a normal memory, its just like remembering that I got dressed this morning. I don't act those pieces of memories out any more but they are still there just like a normal memory. Memory pieces do not disappear with the person remembering what happened to them.

[SongBirdandDaisy]

Rainbowzz,

I had that scary thought too. Sky and Myself answered with good informaiton. But it can still be scary. I've often told T that Idon't know who I am. I don't think the real me has come out yet, but I do know that it will be a little bit of everybody - but in a healthy way, not a confused and mixed up way like it is now. But, I still get scared. I just hold onto the thought that it WILL get better as I work toward a more positive, healthy manner of living. Thank Goodness for T's.

Hope your scary thoughts settle down for you!

SongBird and Daisy and All The Seedlings