[grandmaof2angels]

I am an alter and have to be out a lot to deal with every day things. I have come on here to ask for help or ideas on what to do. The problem is we go to therapy, but we're not the ones the therapist is allowed to work with, because she doesn't have the training to work with DID, but I do end up there most of the time but don't let the therapist know. Any how the problem is: How can I tell the therapist that the problem with the host person is there is a trauma that hasn't been dealt with, and we can't heal as long as she just keep thinking of the abuse and trauma that each of us personalities has gone through. The Host knows there is something inside but will not and even accept that it is the main reason she can't get further in therapy. She just keep throwing the thoughts of our trauma, and we have done dealt with it. Any one know what we can do?

[ruh roh]

If you can post here, then you can email the therapist, right? Just a short note, saying there's more to be dealt with but that it's not being brought up due to denial or something you can't explain, and ask for help to bring it up.

If you can't speak otherwise communicate during session, then that would be my suggestion.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by grandmaof2angels

I am an alter and have to be out a lot to deal with every day things. I have come on here to ask for help or ideas on what to do. The problem is we go to therapy, but we're not the ones the therapist is allowed to work with, because she doesn't have the training to work with DID, but I do end up there most of the time but don't let the therapist know. Any how the problem is: How can I tell the therapist that the problem with the host person is there is a trauma that hasn't been dealt with, and we can't heal as long as she just keep thinking of the abuse and trauma that each of us personalities has gone through. The Host knows there is something inside but will not and even accept that it is the main reason she can't get further in therapy. She just keep throwing the thoughts of our trauma, and we have done dealt with it. Any one know what we can do?

first thing that jumps out at me in your post is you refer to your self as an alter. this jumps out at me because my alters did not consider their self to be less than a human being. my alters functioned just like any other human being so when they were in control they considered their self to be human just like every other human being in this world. so it amazes me sometimes when I see a post where someone is referring to their self as an alternate(alter) kind of like saying Im not the teacher Im just a substitute. maybe my perception comes from the fact that in my location even alters are treated just like normal people are, they are not prioritized as being less important from the host or each other. they are all there as equals, equally important to the system as a whole.

why did I go into that explanation so you could understand what Im about to write...

going on how my location does things we deal with your kind of situation just like any other dissociative situation.... that is DID happens in very early childhood, everyones system is comprised in what ever ways needed to survive that very early traumatic life the child went through. when its in this concept if a system is comprised in such a way as to make it from very early childhood to adulthood in regards to dealing with system problems and trauma then as an adult the system already has what they need to deal with having a host not addressing the trauma's ...

for example if someone with DID was traumatized at age 4 and they are now 30 years old. thats 26 years that the system has already been dealing with and taking care of the fact that the body person is not addressing the trauma. that means somewhere inside the system already has a way of dealing with this, they have already been doing this job for 26 years.

my suggestion is since you have co consciousness (otherwise you would not know what the host needs to do in therapy because you are not the host) ask inside to see how everyone has been already handling the host not addressing the trauma for how ever years its been since the system came into being created. by doing this you may get some information that will allow you to not be so stressed out because the host is refusing to deal with the trauma's that has been pushed away (dissociated from her and to you all)

another suggestion is rather than trying to force the host to deal with something that they have dissociated, if the trauma memories and such are bothering you, you can bring them up during your time in therapy. even though its not the host dealing with the problems and trauma's what matters is the problems are worked on. ...

example any time there was a major storm I the body person (your term host) would dissociate and rainy would be in control during the storms. during therapy it was rainy not me that discussed storms with my treatment provider... why because I had no memory of the traumas and storms, I dissociated. now that my alters and I are one whole person again I now know and remember things.

it may be that your host has dissociated the trauma's so the reason why they are not addressing them in therapy is because thinking about them causes dissociation which means you end up in control during therapy. so now its up to you to discuss with the therapist what you know about the trauma memories. doesnt matter whether its you or your host doing the telling. the result is the same.

my suggestion you are the one in the therapy session and you are the one that knows the therapist so only you know how to best talk with the therapist about this. the way rainy told was it was storming and the therapist asked how are you feeling and rainy said scared I hate the rain. you will know when and what to say when the time is right for you to talk about what ever trauma's you remember and have dealt with all these years since the hosts very early childhood.

[Luce]

g2A, do you think your T will refer you out ? She says she doesn't work with DID, is that what you mean? Maybe you will need a T who can deal with complex trauma. It really really helps to have a t that is confident and knows what they are doing. If a t is scared of DID and doesn't want anything to do with it, it will be really hard for them to help you heal.

You can show her this post? Copy and paste?