Do i have MPD? (DID)

I don't know what is wrong with me? But the only thing i cant find close to ho i am feeling is MPD.
I dont have and alter as such. But more i am someone else. John barowman in this case.
At the moment especally i am having big emotonal break downs as i dont know what he i doing and im stuck cos it mean i dont know what to do. I have to have all the same clothes, exactly the same, make and color. They cant be close They have to be the exact same. This applies for my hair too, down the to last flick. At the moment the barber cut it wrong and it isnt helping. Are these symptoms of MPD or is this something totally different?

Hi John or not John! Wish I could help but haven't figured out my own self yet. It is sometimes like watching someone else live my life while I am curled up in the back somewhere, disconnected but recording. Mine are active after trauma for the most part. It can be sudden severe trauma, in which case the little girl wakes up and takes over for me when I shut down. Or it can be chronic lower level abuse and eventually the anger personality shuts me down and takes over. We are all different and no one here can diagnose you, but we can share who we are if we are willing. Only a professional could make a diagnosis.

Its okay thank you for replying. I jut wandered what pthher who sufferer form mpd/did though? I cant hardly mind infomation and i dont to like doctores tht much

I was going to say pretty much what Farmgal said. I know it's hard to diagnosis. And, we can't do that. Like she said, only a dr. or therapist. But, we can listen and care. I know my therapist tells me to trust myself. We here and care very much.

Do you mean this John Barrowman?



I don't think this is DID but you do sound distressed and could do with some help. Please confide in your Doctor.

Yeah! There me

friends and ounselors gave me the clues that I ws DID or MPD - my handwritings change, some parts really like makeup and stuff -while others parts wont wear it and don't care how we look to go out - some parts can't drive - some parts can't read and can't see well, some parts don't understand very well and get confused easy, at times some send email that I discover later - I have one part that loves candy and will eat and eat candy (tons of it) - no evaluation is really the key here

I don't do the same thing - everybody is different - hope this helps

Johnborrowman - Im sorry but unfortunately we cant tell you whether you have DID (MPD) or not...it is you that must tell us whether you have it or not..

you find out whether you have it or not by contacting your treatment providers (ie your medical doctor, your psychiatrist, your therapist....) your treatment providers will then refer you to a psychiatrist that does diagnostic testing for all medical and mental diseases/disorders that can possibly be causing your symptoms..for example you say you feel like you are someone else...well there are thousands of medical and mental health conditions that cause this same symptom. DID isnt the only medical/mental health problem with identity issues.. then your treatment providers will tell you whether you have DID or another problem that shares the same symptoms...

we cant diagnose you here but we are allowed to tell you what jumps out at us with in your posts...

one of the things that jumps out at me is that you said you dont have alters.. the very first diagnostic criteria for having DID is having alternate personalities that take control many many times, these alters have to be a special kind that have their own way of being, own way of thinking, and own way of interacting / pursuing their own life, goals,....

Another thing that jumps out at me is in another post you posted you dress and act like john borrowman... this alone doesnt say you have a mental disorder... in fact there are lots of people here in the USA that dress and act like their idols of music, acting dancing.... the biggies around the USA are Evis Presley, any Star Trek character/actor/actress, britney spears,...oh gosh I cant list all the different actors /actresses/ music idols being represented here where I live and work.

people do have their hobbies and idols they like to mimic/idolize/ pretend to be/...

for some people its called completely normal for others its called OCD for others its called Schizophrenia/ delusions/ manic.....

there is much more to being DID than choosing to act like / choosing to be your favorite actor/ actress/dancer/singer.....

My suggestion contact your treatment providers, they can work in depth with you on this and figure out why you need to be like the actor John Borrowman. They can test you for all the mental and physical health problems that this is for you.

Thanks yeah it does. So you don't always remember what the others were doing? That dosnt tent to happen to me? But like eveything right, there all drifferent.

John has altars.. But i dont its like im hi mthen he has them. But they all look like john just the act and dress a bit different.
Uhm. Normally im just normal bog standard 45 year old john. But the thing is i have great struggle with thing like getting dressed if eveything isnt ideantical. But then if its someone else they dont mind so much.
I find it really hard explaing as it feels different a lot. And latley it been getting worse and all.. :c

That kind of sounds like me, myself, and I John. The same scenario but I gave some of mine names then it kind of confused me in a sense for a while because that part just takes control sometimes in another voice tone and says her name or something while I still have control I think or a I am aware, trying to conversate with her. It is weird. I feel the other parts of me there per say. We all have different ways of being, doing, and acting but it is not extreme. We also have different voice tones... I loose time sometimes but never that much and nobody does things to harm me or the body. We are trying to heal from emotional abuse. We all go down a different track sometimes in our ways of thinking so that gets stopped and I forget what I was previously thinking a lot. I have to remind myself later on. One has a hard time telling their doctor what this is or getting them to believe the whole. It is a long ride and if you don't have any real solid memories recovered inside of you or gaps then it is even harder. One usually does not know they have the disorder niether they just feel themselves there and everyone sees themselves as the core but different. Like I see me as Jessica and go by this said name but I am also different in nature myself at times. Not by too much but by a little. I think that ya'll get the picture. I was just trying to help out. Hope this helped John. I am just trying to look for answers myself as well in the ways of communication between the selves that way we can all talk more properly amounst the whole... Thanks... Jessica and crew out